by minimus 36 Replies latest jw friends
Odrade, I'm totally with you -- and the hard-assed elders-- on this one!
Me too! My ex thinks he can do whatever the hell he wants to do and as long as he plays "repentant" he can go back to his normal self-righteous routine with all the blessings of the congregation. It makes me freaking sick!
I knew a DFd guy that had to change halls. Someone in his hall had a restraining order out on him despite the elders recommendation against getting the authourities involved.
I knew a sister that was asked not to come to the hall after she had an affair with one of the "upstanding" brothers in the hall. They were both DFd, but the guy and his family remained at the hall and the DFd sister was told to move on.
JWs or not, what this couple did is very sleazy and they should have some consequence.
Let them attend another cong where they know less about their scummy, treacherous behavior.
DY
Well, how did the "innocent" mates feel about this? Were they upset? Or did they help orchestrate this mess, in order to shuck their mates. I've heard of such things.
CZAR
PorkChop----It amazes me that an entire family could be so stinkin' dirty that something had to be done about it.
I knew of a couple of situations like that, but the sneaky cheating wife/husband swapping mates got the minimum disfellowshipping 6 months and then were all right back a part of the social group. The innocent ex-mates became the outcasts, and they really were the innocent mates.
I think each case has to be evaluated on it's own. I knew one sister years ago who refused to have sex with her husband. It wasn't him, she simply didn't like sex and had no intention of ever doing it again. It also became clear that she didn't like marriage in general. She used to complain about having to "wash her husbands dirty underwear" to one and all. Anyhoo, after about 3 years of sleeping on the couch, her husband finally ended up having an affair with someone else in the congregation and they both got DF'd. Everyone listened to this sister boo-hoo-hoo, but as far as I was concerned, what happened was largely her fault. You can't expect a married man in his late 20s to go the rest of his life without sex. She wouldn't go for marriage counselling, therapy or anything and saw no reason why he shouldn't be celibate for the rest of his life. Yes he committed adultery, but under the circumstances, I think it was understandable. The two who had the affair eventually got married and last time I heard, they're very happy.
I knew a sister that was asked not to come to the hall after she had an affair with one of the "upstanding" brothers in the hall. They were both DFd, but the guy and his family remained at the hall and the DFd sister was told to move on.
*nods*
yer sounds about right....
Personally, I think most adulterors should be tied to a stake be covered with syrup and then fire ants.
and then have rubbing alcohol poured over them...and then be set on fire. but allowed to live, death is to good for them...again this is for most...I am not that cold hearted
So I don't think asking them to go to a different hall was unreasonable at all. They should have done that before they were reinstated, and I think it would not kill them to stay in a different hall for a few years. Now, asking the couple to leave when they were there to see their kid's talk, no that is definately wrong.
But yes, make them go to another hall. Personally, if it was well know they just figured they would be disfellowship and then apply for reinstatement right away, as if it was a formality, then damn straight, made them go through hoops. Again, I don't know the whole story on the couple, but with the little facts there are here that's my opinion.
a couple that left their mates so that they could be with one another. The elders promptly disfellowshipped them. The couple made it known immediately, that they were going to apply for reinstatement as soon as possible. The elders became incensed that the couple thought that within a year or so, they'd be reinstated.
Minimus, I know of a situation where a couple left their respective mates to be with one another ... and were promptly disfellowshipped. The "new" couple were despised to such a degree that the man promptly left the borg. The woman tried in vain for no less than twenty years to get re-instated. The man is dead now and the woman is alone. When I left the city, she was still trying and hoping to get re-instated. It is inconceivable to me how unforgiving these elders are with people's lives. While I don't think adultery is a healthy pastime and there are natural consequences for it, I am also a firm believer that karma will catch up to these hateful judgmental unforgiving unmerciful elders.
ESTEE
Estee----We're on the same page!
