What would you say to Gods' answering machine?

by Sirius Dogma 34 Replies latest jw friends

  • Freddy Krueger
    Freddy Krueger

    O.k I really wish you would pick up. It's been long enough, we are past the written word. I don't understand this. You make me look through this book that everyone says is inspired, everything is a he said, she said thing. Now I have to leave a message on your machine. How do I know this is even your machine. Come on God, we've evolved. Oh you probably don't like that term. Anyway we have. You should at least have a web site. Many of us do. Send us some photos. Even fake ones. Something... We need a sign!!!!

    P.S. I'm having this huge party tomorrow, and all I have is these twelve giant barrels of water. Any chance you could help out. I'll take that as a sign.


  • ball.

    "God, please, if it be your will, please make me win the lottery."


    "God, I don't know if you got my other messages, I would really like to win the lottery."


    "God, hello? Are you there? It was about the lottery, well I guess you're busy."


    "God, I really, really, really want to win the lottery. Where are you anyway? Are you picking up these messages?"


    "Oh, hello, I got your answering machine again, well have I told you how much I want to win the lottery lately?"

    God picks up the phone, "Hey meet me half way will ya, and buy a ****ing lottery ticket!"

  • simwitness

    "Hi, Long time listener, first time caller..., can you get me in touch with JCanon, I understand he is a freind of yours..."

  • Steve Lowry
    Steve Lowry

    Did you really have to create farts?

  • Purple

    God you know who this is, I've left you enough messages over the years. Anyway to cut a 39 year story short I am going to imitate you and ignore you now for the rest of your life. You can call me as much as you like and try to answer as many of my messages as you want but its too late now. You ignored me when I prayed for years on end to help my mum and stop the cancer. You ignored that and she died anyway like you have ignored everything else I have asked you for. SO do the world a favour and get to writing a book that makes sense and cant be interpreted in 15 billion trillion different ways. Oh and by the way, tell your son's organisation to go f*&K themselves and leave me alone. I gave at the office.

  • Vivamus

    How rude of ya. I have called and called ya, and you never get back to me. I ain't calling ya again. There! Your loss!

    (And I'll go straight to hell for that )


    Blue Bubblegum Girl

  • Tatiana

    I just knew no one was ever home.

  • bikerchic

    okay you know who this is, you've got my number now call me


    "god, would you kindly answer the calls of the world's starving children and downtrodden...thank you"

  • Sirona

    "Hi Goddess. Thanks so much for my life. Please give my family some strength right now. See you in a few years"


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