What would you say to Gods' answering machine?

by Sirius Dogma 34 Replies latest jw friends

  • dh

    it's meeeeeeee, the shiningest brightest of all your sparkles , can i come back to heaven, pleeeeeez.........

  • Guest 77
    Guest 77

    Thank you for another day of life.

    "And when he opend the seventh seal, a SILENCE occurred in heaven for about a HALF HOUR." Rev.8:1

    "God is not slow respecting HIS promise, as some people consider slowness but he is patient with you..." 2 Peter 9, 10

    Guest 77

  • Satans little helper
    Satans little helper

    dude you've been slacking. Cut the crap and kill all the fundies.

    Thanks for all the good stuff, actually thanks for all the bad stuff too. I appreciate losing my mother to cancer when I was 16, it made me the cynical bastard I am today. Thanks for allowing all the damage that was done to me throughout my childhood, it's given me a skin thick enough to withstand any of the knocks that have happened since.

    I'm not really thanking you for any of this, or blaming you; mainly because you don't exist.

  • fraidycat9

    Everything ok??? Just called to say thanks (You know what for ). Funny, this is the first time I've ever gotten your answering machine... I'll try to catch up with you again tonight.

  • Nosferatu

    Hey God, I was wondering, could you extend my life by another 100 or 200 years? I've been thinking it over, and I'm not going to be done here on earth with the limited amount of time that the average person has been given. Thanx

  • Special K
    Special K

    Hello God...

    I just called to let you know that you have been disfellowshipped.

    It was all those flip-flops that did it. Apostasy.


    Special K

  • dustyb

    (gods daughter leaving the answering machine message) Hey God's daughter, this is a big dirty man. I'm going to come to your house tonite and slit both your parents throats. then i'm going to get out my huge ding dong and stick it in your BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP(end of tape)

  • bisous

    time to upgrade your system.

  • Elsewhere

    Ah-Ha... you couldn't answer your phone... therefore you are NOT All Powerful!

  • onintwo

    Reboot and Simwitness, kudos! You have a decent wit!


Share this