interracial dating

by Maverick 47 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • DanTheMan

    I'm probably sounding racist as hell with my posts to this thread. And yes I do have a visceral reaction when I see a white woman with a black man, because, I do wonder how much of it is because of the supposedly potent sexuality of the black man (which I've heard is true from some women who have experienced both, while others have told me there is no difference). Back when I was a teenager (in the 80's in small town suburban Ohio) we would yell at white women who dated black men "She wanted the extra inch!" because we couldn't believe that there possibly could be any other reason besides that.

    Also, towards the end of my JW days I was madly in love with a sister who wound up dumping me for - you guessed it - a black brother. It hurt BAD. And I don't think she really liked him that much, she told me so herself! But it was like she couldn't say no to him, nobody who knew her could understand why, because when you saw them together it was clear (and I wasn't the only one to observe this) that there wasn't any real chemistry between them, it was so weird. All she could say about him was that he was "spiritual" which meant he never doubted a word that came out of Brooklyn, and she was the same way, a diehard dub through and through.

    So yes I do have some race issues. I'm not proud of it. My best friend at work is a black man from Ghana who is the coolest, I love the guy. My best friends when I was in the troof were often black too. So I don't know where this racism comes from, probably my own deep insecurities, and the fact that there is a lot about black culture that I don't get and that annoys the hell out of me, especially the "music".

    BTW, I've heard that black women who date white men are ostracized by their own race far more than are white women who date black men. A very honest black radio show host once remarked that black people are far more prejudiced than white. I believe that. Black men love to go on about how white men can't jump, can't dance, etc. But if I say that black men can't graduate high school or take responsibility for children that they father, then I'm a racist scumbag.

  • Sassy

    If I go into an interracial romance chat room, white men will im me and ask me why do I prefer black men? and it is usually done in an intimidating way, as if they are afraid in a woman's eyes that the black man is so much superior, or better at sex or bigger and better. The black men will ask me why and WANT to hear they are better in bed, etc etc. I tell both of them the same thing. It isn't about sex. Granted my experiences with black men have been pretty damn exciting but I have had 'intercourse' with one white man. My first husband so how in the world can I compare?? It's not about a trophie or novelty either. I just happen to find them attractive (not to say other races never attract me) and I just seem to 'click' with them. It probably has to do with the fact that I have a lot of black friends. I don't know.

    I totally agree with the point that a black woman dating a white man will get more critism than the reverse. Why? No idea. Maybe it is because it is less common?

    I sure wish the day would come when no one cared what race you were and it wasn't about the skin color but the beauty found underneith.


    I have no problem with it whatsoever!

    Love knows no boundaries.

    Besides, I have neighbours, with bi-racial children: they are gorgeous/handsome children.

    Aztec: if she hasn't posted, has the most handsome son. He's bi-racial, and he's got the best of both worlds.

    I think it's great! I for one have NO problem with it whatsoever.

  • Carmel

    In my faith inter-racial marriage is not only permitted it is encouraged. I only wish I had grown up in it rather than dubland. I have one son who married a beautiful Muslim Pakistani, another son that married her beautiful college room mate, a Sihk from India. I not only endorse this, I actively encourage my daughter and son, (unmarried) to not date whites.

    reverse discriminator


  • Funchback

    I am the bi-product of an interracial marriage (dad black, mom white). I look white. I grew up in a black neighborhood. I never had any major problems due to looking different than my peers. I earned everyone's respect and everyone earned mine. I have only ever dated black and latina girls/women (and one west Indian). It's not that I never wanted to date a white girl/woman, it's just that I was 90% of the time around black folks.

    Ironically, my wife is also black and white and she looks 100% black. So, we APPEAR to be an interracial couple but technically we aren't. So far, in my 12 years of marriage, I have never had anyone say anything racist to us about us being together. Perhaps it's because I would kick their ass(es).

    Regarding the WTBTS being anti-interracial... All you need to do is look at every cover they ever made. You will not find ONE WT or Awake! magazine with an interracial couple on the cover. That's all the proof I need!

  • Maverick

    I recieved a couple of PM's with some WTS info. Check out the Question from Readers W60 7/15 pp 447-448 and W73 12/1 pp 775-776. The points brought out are valid. There can be added pressure due to the culture where a couple live. Marriage at best can be trying, so the racial aspect should be considered.

    Part of the reason I was so slow at allowing this Sister to get close to me was I expected us to catch flak over the interracial aspect. But I have been totally wrong. The looks I get from white guys can best be described as envy, from black women curiosity, white woman act like they don't notice and black men act like jerks! Did I mention she is 5 inches taller than me?

    And for being impressed with the way black men are supposedly enbowed...I am not me! Point of fact is, some men are and some are not, and you can't tell by their skin color, size of their hands or feet or ears or any other external ways! Black guys just have better PR! And I say..."Good for them!" Maverick

  • scotsman

    The most recent reference I could find was in g98 1/22 pp19-21 in an article titled What If My Parents Oppose My Marriage?


    About Racial or Cultural Differences?

    Lynn?s parents raised objections for a different reason: She wanted to marry a man of a different race. What does the Bible teach in this regard? It tells us that "God is not partial" and that "he made out of one man every nation of men." (Acts 10:34, 35; 17:26) Humans have a common origin and are of equal value in God?s sight.

    Even so, while all married couples suffer "tribulation in their flesh," interracial couples may experience additional challenges. (1 Corinthians 7:28) Why? Because many people in today?s hate-filled world do not accept God?s viewpoint on race. While interracial marriages have become increasingly commonplace in some Western lands, there are still areas where mixed couples encounter strong prejudice. Your parents may therefore fear that you are not equipped to deal with such pressures.

    "My folks thought it would be very hard on us," admits Lynn. Wisely, Lynn showed respect for their feelings and did not rush into marriage. As her parents observed Lynn?s maturity and became better acquainted with the man she loved, they gradually began to feel reasonably confident that she could handle the pressures of this marriage. Says Lynn: "Once they felt we could be truly happy together, they also were happy for us."

    Sometimes, though, the issue is not race but culture. Your parents may be concerned that, in the long run, you would find it difficult to enjoy living with someone whose life-style, expectations, and tastes in food, music, and entertainment are so different from yours. In any event, marrying someone of a different race or of a different culture can present big challenges. Are you really up to meeting them?

    And this is what the 1960 article said

    *** w60 7/15 pp. 447-448 Questions from Readers ***

    Questions from Readers

    ? Is it wrong for a white person and a colored one to marry if they truly love each other? Does the Bible give any counsel in this regard??W. M., U.S.A.God?s Word does not forbid marriage between the races. On the contrary, it shows that all races are related in that they all came from one man originally. (Acts 17:26) No one race is esteemed better in God?s sight than another. As the apostle Peter expressed it: "God is not partial, but in every nation the man that fears him and works righteousness is acceptable to him."?Acts 10:34, 35.

    What God?s Word does command is that dedicated Christians should marry "only in the Lord." Should it happen that one or the other had been married before, it would be necessary that they be Scripturally free; either in that the mate is deceased or has been legally divorced because of adultery.?1 Cor. 7:39.

    Obviously, those who marry seek happiness. And the Scriptures indicate that a marriage or wedding should be a very happy occasion. The countless happily married couples give evidence that marriage can bring deep satisfactions, contentment and much joy. However, it also follows that due to human imperfection marriage does bring with it a certain amount of "tribulation in their flesh," as the apostle Paul terms it.?1 Cor. 7:28.

    It is quite likely that those who marry across racial lines will have more of this tribulation than will others. Christians cannot change prevailing human customs, prejudices and laws but must put up with them. They should therefore take a very realistic view of matters and recognize the added difficulties such a marriage will have to face. In many parts of the earth there is still much racial discrimination, and entering such a marriage may result in restricting the Christian?s opportunities for preaching the good news of God?s kingdom. Also, children born of such a marriage most likely will face similar added obstacles as soon as they are old enough to mingle with other children.

    Then again, the law in certain lands and states forbids interracial marriage. Since Christians must recognize Caesar?s right to regulate marriage, Christians residing in such states or lands and contemplating interracial marriage would have to move to a land or state where such marriages are legal, and it would be inadvisable for them to return to their own land or state or to go to any others having such laws.

    In view of these factors, those who contemplate such a marriage will do well to consider the step seriously. Is it truly love or chiefly physical attraction? Would it be in the best interests of both? Is this marriage the best possible solution to their problem or reason for wanting to marry? Before marriage the love between two persons may seem sufficiently strong, but is it strong enough to endure the added obstacles such a marriage brings with it? If two persons of different races decide to take such a step, no one should criticize them. The really important factors, it may not be forgotten, are those plainly stated in the Scriptures.

    The official line.
  • Sassy
    And for being impressed with the way black men are supposedly enbowed...I am not me! Point of fact is, some men are and some are not, and you can't tell by their skin color, size of their hands or feet or ears or any other external ways!

    Well.. to be man I dated who was black and handsome as Denzel Washington was extremely small in size...

    he said it was very difficult growing up black and being 'expected' to have more.. he had a pretty bad complex about it.. (he was also an a$$)

    No you never know.. I've been with varying sizes of black men. and even in bed, they all have different techniques.. but like you said Maverick.. they have good PR...

    I'm glad that you are getting past the issues and enjoying dating this woman Maverick. I am sure she is wonderful as are you.

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