Hi One Ugly Time,
This is a good example of negative tranference using NLP speak, as was the original question... Very emotionally charged method of infering negative traits upon those you are talking to...all the while it will obviously make you feel better about yourself, and give you all the appearances of a healthy self-esteem if you talk as if your positive outlook diminishes and humilates others
I really enjoyed your post (and thanks for the compliment), especially the above about saying something ostensibly complimentary but being actually derogatory and self-inflating. It seems to me to apply to some situations I've encountered and didn't know how to express it. Thanks.
I also agree that an anaylist wouldn't ask such a question with the intent of eliciting some power unless the time and patient were ready. Certainly not out of the blue like that. To say "I don't understand," also seems dishonest and may imply the attitude of the sufferer is foreign to normal thinking processes.