Ladies vs. REAL WOMEN

by Tatiana 35 Replies latest social humour

  • Tatiana
    Tatiana

    Ladies - If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in
    a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."

    Real Women - If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad.
    Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it
    and I don't care how bad it tastes."

    *************************************************************
    Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your
    forehead. The throbbing will go away.

    Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still
    have the headache, but who cares?

    *************************************************************

    Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow! In the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent
    ice cream drips.

    Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's
    sake. You are probably lying your ass on the couch, with your feet up anyway.

    *************************************************************
    Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the
    potatoes.

    Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't have to worry about the
    potatoes growing arms and legs.

    *************************************************************
    Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the
    dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the inside of the
    cake.

    Real Women - Go to the bakery -- they'll even decorate the sonofabitch for you.

    *************************************************************
    Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a
    beautiful glossy finish.

    Real Women - Sara Lee frozen freaking pie directions do not include brushing egg
    whites over shit, so I don't do it.

    *************************************************************

    Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves.
    They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

    Real Women - Go ask the very HOT neighbor guy to do it.

    *************************************************************
    And finally the most important tip....

    Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for
    future use in casseroles and sauces.

    Real Women - Leftover wine??hic-up

    *************************************************************

    And always remember-------A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be
    sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"

  • drwtsn32
    drwtsn32

    Good to know I'm a real woman!

    Well, except for this one:

    Go ask the very HOT neighbor guy to do it.
  • pettygrudger
    pettygrudger

    Damn - I'm a lady - blech!

  • Sunnygal41
    Sunnygal41

    Tatiana, thanks I needed those to cheer me up!!!!!

    Terri, of the definitely real women class...........either that or I'm just too damn old and crochety to give a flying F*** what anyone says or thinks!

  • Nikita
    Nikita

    1/4 lady -3/4 real woman here!
    LOL-those were funny!

    Nikita

  • Soledad
    Soledad

    that was HILARIOUS Tati thanks!!

    ~~Real Woman here~~

  • Joyzabel
    Joyzabel

    Those were great!

    I loved this the best: "And always remember-------A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!""

    Joy

  • Surreptitious
    Surreptitious

    Good to know I'm a real woman!

    Well, except for this one:

    Go ask the very HOT neighbor guy to do it.

    Then why were you on my doorstep the other day with a jar of (what was it again?) in your hand?

  • drwtsn32
    drwtsn32
    Then why were you on my doorstep the other day with a jar of (what was it again?) in your hand?

    I was returning it after I opened it for you.

  • Surreptitious
    Surreptitious
    I was returning it after I opened it for you.

    Thanks. I appreciate you coming over and offering.

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