by Strawberryfieldsforever 33 Replies latest jw friends
DEAR SFF,
I ALSO CAME FROM A DIVIDED HOUSEHOLD AND HAVE HAD THE FEARS THAT OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS AND FRIENDS WOULD BE DESTROYED AND THAT WE SHOULD ONLY ASSOCIATE WITH THE JWS. THIS IS A GREAT SITE AND I AM NEW ALSO WELCOME AND REMEMBER THAT ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE!
The past three years though, I have finally gotten to know my Dad. Oh! What a wonderful feeling to finally be able to talk about all those years without fear of my mother! We have celebrated Christmas together and talked and talked and talked!!! How much I love him!
Wow! Your father must be glowing with so much happiness now!
Welcome!
Welcome to the board Strawberry. That is so great that you can now enjoy your association with your Dad. Its a great feeling to break free from the borg.
Love
cj
(((Strawberry)))
Your story so mirrors my own - it's uncanny. I grew up in a divided household as well - scared to death of everything/everyone. Being "persecuted" in God's name - I remember only to well. I remember at the age of 5, while mom was studying the "Great Teacher" book with me, and explaining how I would be most likely taken from her and placed all alone, maybe even be physically tortured beyond any "spanking" she had ever given me (and how awful were those beatings!!!). I remember taking my bath afterwards and crying - I never knew lack of fear in my life until almost 20 years later.
My father (non-JW) was given no respect or honor in our household - except what HAD to be given by JW standards. I was taught not to listen to him, not to count on him nor to go to him with my needs. I wanted to love him, but it would have been wrong in God's eyes - because we are to hate the world. I grew up very torn. When I finally left, I also had the priviledge and honor of getting to know my father, and beginning for the first time traditions that had never been given to me as a child. Those times I had with him until his death are so precious to me now - enjoy every moment you can! There's alot of healing in that.
Welcome to the board (((Strawberry)))
Good that you finally got to know your father.
Welcome!
I like your ID. Are you a Beatle fan?
Welcome to the board! We have a very similar childhood.
I too, have been hurt by the JW's. I grew up in what they call a "divided household". My mother was a very strict JW and my father was a military man.
I was also brought up in a divided household until I was about 12 years old when my father attended his first meeting. My mother was also a very strict JW. She had no problem "using the rod".
I remember the other kids making fun of me and teasing me.
My Mom told me it was good to be persecuted for Jehovah God.
I never told my parents what I was going through at school. I always felt that I couldn't go to them with my problems. I fully believed that "my faith was being tested". Eventually, all the kicking, punching, etc got to me and I started to shake uncontrollably whenever I made the trip to school or attended school. I was always shaking.
Years went by and I did everything my Mom wanted like the perfect little witness child. I was afraid of displeasing her and most of all, displeasing Jehovah God!!!
I had the same thing. I always got the line, "Don't do it for me, do it for Jehovah" or "If you lie to me, you lie to Jehovah". Basically, I viewed my mother and Jehovah the same, but I just didn't know it at the time.
Anyway, I hope you find a lot of healing here. I know I have!
Welcome SFF. I am so glad I was already 13 when my mother got into this cult! I am sooo glad I wasn't raised this way & I knew there was real life out there! I watched this insanity you describe go on between my parents, & bided my time. What you are describing is child abuse, plain & simple. I think most of those jw women treat their "unbeliever" husbands in the same manner. In the end, it does backfire, because kids get older, & forge a strong relationship with their dad, & do the "fade" from their mother.
Your dad is a true inspiration, & I am so glad you are able to have him in your life! His education is the best example you could have had. Enjoy your dad & your freedom!
hugs, Gypsy
Thankyou so much for sharing your story ((((((strawberryfieldsforever))))))
I have been going through torture. My child is my life, I know my wife will get her if we break up and teach her to be a dub. If I stay and force the issue to not teach her she'll cite spititual endangerment and leave also.
She will not even discuss anything anymore as the WT's latest mags say not even to listen or dicuss anything with ones who have an apostate viewpoint because they are being negative.
When I read your post it gave me hope that if I do make a firm stand that no matter what light my wife paints me in that my child will hopefully someday see in the light of truth...real truth.
Shotgun
Shotgun - if it's in your earthly ability to do so - do not allow your wife to drive a wedge between you and your child. My father said before he died that allowing my mother to raise us the way she did, and drive the wedge she did in between us was the biggest regret of his life. Happily, after leaving the JW's we were able to rectify that situation.
You do have rights as the head of the household - and you have the right to do with YOUR child as you see fit - regardless of what she says. Assert your rights and don't let her get away with this. Make sure you spend plenty of time with your child, so that as he/she grows older they will be able to see the untruthfulness.
