by codeblue 61 Replies latest jw experiences
Thanks I was thinking more about how I relate to what it was like being a woman raised in the borg, though
Look, damn you, I'm going to run out of posts, yet again, trying to argue with you. You're far too nice for me to keep arguing with you. Damn!
~Aztec
And so, I hate myself
I love you Jo.
I can understand how you feel. I was 'there' a few years ago myself. You'll get over it because you're an amazing person and you have far too much potential as a person. I appreciate you and your input.
~Aztec
Jo:
I think most women, at least the ones I know (maybe it's some crappy midwestern plot), struggle with self-esteem.
That's been my observation, too.
Hey, quit with the attitude.
You're a lovely person, with an awareness that belies your tender years
Aztec:Quit grumbling, woman, you've got 50 now
You're a lovely person, with an awareness that belies your tender years
(Said in all seriousness)
That means a lot to me LT, especially coming from a soul like yourself
It was genuine, too, Jo. I suspect you'll find there are many that feel the same way.
Keep faith - you are appreciated.
Is it because I was raised as a witness or is it because I was raised by my over-zealous witness mother? I think thats a pretty fine distinction and I'm not sure its important.
My parents, both of them but especially my mom, were adamant about never giving us a compliment. If someone said we had talent in an area, they wouldn't allow it, only saying that the credit could only go to Jehovah. If someone said I was pretty, my mom would say that beauty is only skin deep and I was a rebellious child. If someone said I was smart, my mom or dad would say that wouldn't get me into the new system, or that it wasn't anything to brag about but due to Jehovah.
Yes, our opinions were devalued and still are by most because we are ONLY women. I do think that most fundamentalist religions are similar in this attitude, so I doubt the JW's own it.
Can someone else impact your self esteem? Circumstantial I know, anectdotal for sure. In my case the family was extremely dysfunctional and any attempt to be "better" than the rest was zealously guarded against and I was ripped a new one constantly for it. As a result of that upbringing, I believed that I was too independent (a weakness) and that I needed a STRONG man to control me. So I got exactly that, a big strong abusive man that beat me down with words until what was left of my self-esteem was totally gone.
Now, I did get help, I did get a divorce, and I did go on to have a better life even a wonderful one. I don't blame anyone for anything that has happened to me along the way. All of these bumps in the road are what has made me who I am today, and I happen to like that person. I'm now independent and strong, but I'm also generous to a fault and the type of person people like to talk to about whats bothering them. I feel valued and loved.
So, again, I say, does it really matter? We aren't there now, so lets move on. Life is so good!
Gretchen
I have had low self esteem in my life, but don't now. I think mine was more from the personality of my mother than being a JW. My mother was an exceptionally beautiful woman, and looks were too important in our house. My father was very handsome and so was my brother. I always thought I was so plain and unattractive. Looking back on my photos, I was a very pretty young girl and young woman, but my mother was kind of narcissitic and didn't let me know that.
I did, but I'm getting over it.
My wife's self-esteem was always in the toilet. The "you're never good enough" BS really affected her.
(((((((((((((((((((((Jo))))))))))))))))))))))))))
i swear our mother's are related. also, i can't quite dictate if my feelings about myself come from being raised a dub or if it's just how my mother is. dealing with my parents, i can't ever get away from it. every time i go home to visit, my mom starts in about how she's such a failure as a mother. i ask her why? why does she feel that way when she has 3 children who are happy, healthy, productive members of society? apparently that doesn't make a difference to her. she would be happier seeing me a witness, married to a witness--hell probably happier if we bankrupted and had to move back in with them with 5 kids. when she gets in the moods and rants that she's failed as a mother because none of her children are dubs, it starts to wear on me. these thoughts creep into my head and i start to wonder what is so wrong with me. maybe things wouldn't have been different is we hadn't been witnesses way back when, but i guess i'll never know for sure. adult life has been good for me. now i get the chance to choose the people around me as friends and some even like family.
