Very sorry to hear about the way your birth mother has always viewed and treated you. She couldn't have been very loved herself as a child.
But, that's not your responsibility! And I fully believe that toxic parents should be avoided as much as possible. They are very hurtful.
Do you have other older women around your mother's age you could spend more time with, who are loving women? Mothers should be "motherly" or we really don't need them.
My mom was also a very pretty woamn, and i was a Sally Field look alike. she never gave compliments, and i did not feel at all pretty growng up. i too have looked back on my pics and i was a very cute little girl . I really came into my looks in my 20's . Girls seem to have to be both smart and pretty. Remember the story of Rachel and Leah in the Bible? Leah 's eyes lacked luster , it is said, and so she was loved less. When people discuss women, often they will make reference to her looks, and IQ. But not with men. Imagine, in a book as widely read as the bible, a women is judged by her looks and it is written down for all to see.
