Tonight I had an argument with both my parents. My parents are aware of my feelings towards the organization, and it saddens them because I am their first born son. They had high expectations of me, my father dreamt of him and I serving together as elders. Right now they seem very hurt by my feelings towards the organization. They see it as something against God, which it isn't, and I've tried explaining that to them, by talking about the organization's history but they are convinced that this is the true organization. I look at childhood photos of my father embracing me and I can't help but get emotional and feel some form of guilt for "waking up". As hurt as they are, I myself am hurt by all of this. They accuse me of being selfish by stirring off into another path. They see it as them going towards the finish line and I'm going the opposite direction. I can't help but feel like there will be a strain in the relationship I have with my parents and it hurts me so much because like I every child, I sincerely love my parents, even if they say they'll forget about me if I don't make it to the new system. Is it strange to feel guilt? Should I not feel any type of guilt at all? Am I selfish?