Am I selfish?
LoisLane looking for Superman:
I have an inactive grandfather that has been inactive for several decades, but most of my family are in, and their mostly born ins
I can't help but feel like my father may be aware of it being a cult? I asked him last night "If you were in a cult, how would you know?" And he tells me "But why would I look that up? How would that benefit me? It'd probably confuse me, much like it has confused you."
"But why would I look that up? How would that benefit me? It'd probably confuse me, much like it has confused you."
Your Dad was using rational ignorance.
Rational ignorance is refraining from acquiring knowledge when the cost of educating oneself on an issue exceeds the potential benefit that the knowledge would provide.
Obviously he wants to keep his beliefs in tact.
There is something else at play with your family.......... when you discuss your thoughts re the religion. It creates cognitive dissonance which is mental discomfort (psychological stress) when confronted with new information that contradicts ones beliefs, ideals, and values.
Both of these issues interfere with their natural love for you they get angry and can often say hurtful things.
Stop the debates.......... they are not ready for what you are discovering. Instead of telling them what you believe what you have learned......... show them your loving side. Treat them with kindness not pity. Talk about other things that affect their daily life.
Make sure you remain a loving son as you get on with a new and better life.
i try not to debate with them, but our lives are all tangled to these beliefs. I just try to reason with them, you see he still sees absolutely nothing wrong with the false predictions, I'll quote Deuteronomy 18:20 and what it says about speaking in Jehovah's name and it won't really phase him, he'll just say that the Society got better and they no longer make predictions
No, you are not being selfish. You cannot be something you don't want to be just because they have high expectations of you. I know you love your parents dearly but this is your life and you must live it the way you see fit.
You are young and free...go live your life! I wish I had instead of allowing myself to be controlled by my parents and then the WT.
Good luck (I can say that now I'm out, can't I?!)
Are you selfish for having a mind of your own, wanting to live your own life and make your own choices? Perhaps, but only in completely normal and appropriate ways for any adult.
Really, it's your parents that are the selfish ones for wanting you to live according to their wishes and desires with no regard for your own.
.........he'll just say that the Society got better and they no longer make predictions-------Jules
Watchtower 2003 Dec 15 p.15 "Warned of "Things Not Yet Beheld" hints at 2033 / 34 as the next date.
If it's not possible to avoid discussions with your family, perhaps you could ask them to explain a few things like:
- Was God leading the WT during the time when they were making false predictions?
- The "overlapping generation" concept
- What proof they have that God chose the WT as his only earthly organization/earthly channel of communication in 1919?
Hopefully this should get them thinking.
Not all selfishness is bad. For example....you could compromise your values and integrity, stay a JW, deal with the resulting depression and drudgery that comes with going but not believing, probably end up getting yourself in trouble.....all while being miserable.
Or you could live an authentic life, reach out to your parents and others with love and positivity, and continue to evole as a person and your belief system.
In the end.....which person better serves their family, their friends, and humanity?
P.S. - I would stay away from the word cult, or other pejorative "triggers". Tell them you have to obey your conscience. You are taking the more difficult road. You simply do not believe they are being chosen. And honestly....I would reconsider disassociating. Give your family a way to speak to you.
thank you for that reference I'll definitely look it up
yeah I'll definitely refrain from using those terms