My wife stole my books!!!! (page 3)

Euphemism

I don't really have any practical advice dmouse... I just wanted to say that I can't imagine having to deal with a nut like that in the house. You have my deepest sympathies.

Nosferatu

No, but she physically barred my way.

She may have done that, but she can't stand there forever.

Nos speaks as an angry young man.

LOL! I consider myself as do others quite a happy person. The thing is, I've been through shit like this before....

It was around this time of year, about 3 years ago. My ex had a pregnant sister who was engaged to a guy who used to be a friend of mine. Three months previous, they inherited $18,000 from his dead grandmother. They had a baby on the way and large debts to pay off, but they decided to spend it all on pleasure - cell phones, a computer, dreamcast, video games, new stereo, taking a cab everywhere, etc etc. The money was gone in 3 months. She was near her delivery date and they had no food in the house.

My fiance at the time comes home and starts taking food out of our refridgerator and putting it in a napsack. I flipped out on her. We were having a bit of a tough time ourselves, and she's giving our food away. She took the food anyway. It didn't stop there.

Not long after, Her sister & boyfriend decided to sell their cell phones for $80 a piece. My fiance said "Let's give them $100 because they have no food. I told her again that I was not supporting their stupidity. This time she listened.

A few months later, my fiance decided to buy her sister & boyfriend's playstation off them for $100. They agreed that she can pay whenever she can and I had no problem with it. So she gives them $50. Meanwhile, we went through the process of buying a vehicle. After my fiance told them we bought a vehicle, they demanded the playstation back. While I was at work, her sister came and got the playstation without refunding the $50 we had already paid on it. I was incredibly pissed off about this.

Me and my fiance were starting to run into worse financial difficulty and her sister's wedding was coming quickly. My fiance kept on inquiring that we should get them a wedding present. I flat out told her "no, they got $50 out of us. That's their wedding present".

Shortly after that, she left me.

The thing is, I had been completely walked all over by my ex many times before this, and I'd always give into her to make her "happy". Things are no longer this way. I now stand up for myself and my best interests. The only one who should be controlling your life is you. A relationship should have disagreements rather than control.

By taking things out of the house, kicking you out of a room that you're paying for, and sleeping in a bed that you contributed to buying, she's not giving you any respect. You keep a roof over her head, you have given her a bed to sleep in, and you've given her the pleasure of knowing that she's got you by the balls. What has she done for you?

Nordic

Hi there dmouse

Its sad that things is going in that direction for you,i hope that you one day can, convince your wife that the "truth" is not the truth.

Nordic

Momofmany

Believe me, if she does quit her job, nothing would please me more than to throw her out onto the mercy of the WBTS (who of course would look after her in her tribulation!)

Do they really take care of their own? I never saw it with my mom. When my dad died, they did not help her. You'd think they would have come over more than the night of the service, or something. The only ones I see taking care of the widows is other widows. And the fatherless boy? I only see other single moms getting together. Maybe one or two good hearted people, at least thats what I have seen. Or maybe the first month they will be good to her, then stop.

Sorry, had to add my two cents.

johnny cip

sad story dmouse: i've been through a lot of the same type of control , from my x wife that was never a jw or even knew about jw's. it was always give me give me, and telling me to sleep in the living room when i didn't cough up the $$$$$$$$$$$$. i would pay the rent ,groceries, electric and be broke. and 2 days later she would say i didn't give her a dime.when the kids needed school clothes i would give her like $400 and tell to do the best she can with that till a month from now. and she stole my credit card and spend another $500 I DIDN'T HAVE . then she stole the tax return check from the irs. some $3500 and told me it never came. she didn't even like the idea i would keep $50-100 a week for my self to buy gas ,lunch, cigarettes, etc. she even called the police on me many times b/c i wanted to sleep in the bed and maybe have some sex! well to make a long story short i left, and was heartbroken with 2 kids. now i have a very nice girl friend and she never asks me for a dime . i took my daughter out yesterday for xmas clothes . and guess who called me while i was at the store screaming for more money and buy this and that!!!!!!! a control freak of a woman will allways be one jw or not...i learned to stand up for my self and my mental wellbeing.. my last 4 years away from my xwife have been some of my best ....it sounds to me like it's your house 85%( as far is the $$$ issue goes) . i would take a bunch of her wt books say at the value of $1 each to add up for the books she dumped on you and hide them at work etc. and tell her she can have them back when she replaces your books . them i would get a court order on her not to touch your private stuff. etc she will back down fast. hate to say it , you have already passed the point of staying with her for the kids.... best wishes john

simplesally

You can go to court (with an attorney, of course) and based on her last years w-2's, the judge can force her to get another job --- one that pays equitably to what she had. I would not provide food or toilet paper or laundry soap for her. Eat out and carry your own t.p. -- have your laundry done at a laundromat or Chinese laundry (fluff and fold place). You won't have to grocery shop if you take your daughter and yourself out to breakfast (hey McDonald's is cheap) and then go to a Subway for sandwiches or buy one roast chicken and share with your daughter. If you stop providing, she'll have to get money somehow.

I would also take her to the elders. She is under their rule, even if you are unbeliever or apostate, she is supposed to do what you say and be submissive. Ha ha, turn the tables on her.

I would not put any more money in your joint account, nope, not a cent.

And to Nos, who said:

You have the right to decide if you want to sleep in it. If you choose not to, that's fine. If you didn't choose to sleep on the air mattress, I need to ask you why you're taking this abuse from her? They're just words coming out of her mouth. Did she take a gun to your head? If she didn't, you get your ass back into that bedroom and sleep on the bed. If she doesn't like sleeping with you, she can sleep on the air mattress. If you don't like sleeping with her, move the bed into the dining room and put the air mattress in the bedroom. It's her turn to sleep on the air mattress. That's what marriage is about - making sacrifices, and you've done it for 2 months. Her turn.

In this case, Nos, he is paying all the bills. But that's not always the case because with my ex, I was paying the bills, I was the sole owner of the house, he didn't get to choose ........ when you're going thru a separation/divorce, the spouse who is the flake is just lucky to not be on the street.

caligirl

dmouse - I am sorry for what you are going through. Good move opening your own account- provide for your house and the kids, but I wouldn't give her one dime. It will mean a lot of responsibility on you, but she might see how ridiculous she was in quitting her job if she has no money at all. Call it natural consequences and responsibility for her actions. I hope you live in a state that allows the kids to choose which parent they live with and that you are going to file for custody! It sounds like your daughter already has an opinion about going to meetings. She sounds a lot like my husband's ex - a total nightmare. They'll make up anything to cause you grief. Protect yourself and your kids the best you can and find yourself an attorney. Best wishes for a speedy solution!

Mr Ben

It?s probably going to get worse.

She burned the books. She probably told the elders you have aposto books. What is their advice to a faithful sister who has an aposto hubbie? Let me enlighten. They will tell her this:

Leave your job so you will get Legal aid. Throw him out of the house, calling the police if necessary. Take him to court and demand that you remain in the house to look after the children. He will be forced to pay the mortgage, alimony, and child maintenance, and he?ll probably only have enough left for a shitty bedsit for himself ? but then, that shows what happens to those who oppose Jehovah. He will not be able to sell the house & split the equity 50/50 until the children are 16.

This is how bad it can get. I urge you to go to a solicitor as soon as possible and find out what can be done to minimise this. You could, for instance, start secretly taping her when she?s screaming her intolerant JW bull, and evidence like this might mean you stay in the house to care for the kids while she has to go!

Good luck man, feelin? mighty sorry for you over here in Yorkshire.

Ben.

cruzanheart

Yes, a lawyer is definitely warranted in this case. Start getting your ducks in a row -- judges these days are a little more amenable to Dad having custody if Mom is a total flake.

Good luck, dmouse.

Nina

little witch

Dmouse,

I am so sorry to hear of your misfortune. This sounds very abusive emotionally. I am very sad for you, and I hope things get better for the sake of you and your kids.

It takes a strong man to stand up for his kids. You sound like the kind of father that I always wanted to have. I am proud of you for watching out for the well-being of your daughter, even in the face of punishment....

Warmest Regards,

Dee

My wife stole my books!!!!

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