Weird Things Only Jehovah's Witnesses Do

by minimus 55 Replies latest jw friends

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  FreeWilly

  OK, this isn't limited to JUST JW"S, but my gawd it seems like there is always a subcult in every congregation that follows some sort of QUACK ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE or PYRAMID business scheme.

  I met an "iridologist" who reads your eyeball like a palmreader then prescribes high $$ herbs - usually some sort of colon cleanser concoction.

  I met a quasi massage/chiro-healer who can cure anything through chiropractics.

  I met dubs who swear that all you have to do is hold medicine up to you abdomen to see if it 'reacts' to you body to determine if you need it.

  I know dubs who swear they will retire early and pioneer from the profits of AMWAY or EXCEL Telephone or HERBALIFE or MELALUCA or some other stuff like that.

  Herbs, minerals, Amway and nearly all other 'sucker-schemes' - that gets my vote.
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  kj

  Herbs, minerals, Amway and nearly all other 'sucker-schemes' - that gets my vote.

  Yep, I've seen a lot of that.

  kj
• 

  minimus

  A lot of JW'S like alternative medecine. It probably goes back to the Golden Age magazine publisher. He was totally against doctors!
• 

  Lady Lee

  They have no traditions - other than meetings

  They have holiday meals but say they are not celebrating anything

  They insist the women wear dresses in sub-zero climates while going door to door

  They won't put up holiday decorations but will drive around town putting down all the decorations of the pagans and hide their envy
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  worldlygirl

  I agree. My wacky, JW ex-mother-in-law actually told me that she used to "massage" away her son's asthma attacks rather than allowing him to use an inhaler. He ended up in the hospital nearly dead once.
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  minimus

  Worldly girl, I hope he never had problems with hemmorhoids.
• 

  little witch

  Mini , that was a good one!

  I am just so proud!

  The witnesses are the only people on earth (and ever so happy) to worship a god made of paper!
• 

  Nosferatu

  They insist the women wear dresses in sub-zero climates while going door to door

  That's a good one Lee! Who cares if you've got cold wind blowing up your dress, just as long as you look good for Jehovah. I remember the shit flying when one sister would wear these huge baggy pants that sorta looked like a dress to the KH. Absolutely no respect for Jehovah.

  Another one to add to the list - dressing up while doing telephone witnessing. ???

  I'm not sure about this one being unique to JWs, but the toilet paper on a woman's head when she's praying outloud in the company of other JWs.

  Only 144000 can partake of the crackers and grape juice.
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  minimus

  Women can't be elders but they can "rule" over man from heaven. Blood transfusions are evil but taking bone marrow transfusions is up to your conscience. Education is looked down upon but Bethel always is looking for "professionals". Going on a date with a person you know you'll never marry is bad. Having fun in large gatherings is "untheocratic". No one gers df'd for overeating but will get df'd for overdrinking. "Momentarily" touching a woman's breast is not a disfellowshipping offense but keeping it there for more than 5 seconds is.
• 

  Insomniac

  Good Gawd, I can't believe all these things felt "normal" to me for so long. It's really embarrasing! About half the folks in my last cong were shilling Melaleuca products. I did it briefly, but just could not recommend it strongly to others, so I just bought some stuff for myself. When I called it quits, I think I broke Sister Elder's heart-she had such a perfect pyramid going! Seems like the only time she had two words to say to me was when I might be making her some money. What a crock!