What do you do about the anger that one experiences when waking up. Anger of being lied to for decades, anger about wasting allot of time on nonsense. I am sure its a normal reaction , but I am wondering what others have done? I watched a video of " Tight Pants Tony" giving a talk where he was obsessed with armageddon , death, talked about people rotting, split open , smelly, and the streets full of them. I saw that on " John Cedars Channel" and I was so pissed. The amount of fear being dispensed was incredible, and to think I have been getting a constant diet of that my entire life. I spoke with this to my JW parents tonight and my dad listened, but just laughed. I said what part of that talk is moral or humane and I cant imagine my kids listening to it; not one part was moral, humane, or positive. Im pissed that I have been to countless assemblies, and listened to this crap but never really listened. He also said " look around at the store next time and just imagine those people " ...bla,bla,bla.
What to Do....Please Help. Awakening JW for a very long time
I wasn't thinking of legal rights, but the individual rights that unfortunately even governments fail to protect. In this case there is two conflicting opinions on how to raise children, the opinion of the parent out of the cult and the opinion of the parent inside the cult. I think a reasonable arbiter would favor the parent outside the cult. What can be the arguments??? easy...shunning, no higher education, no blood transfusions, no association with worldly people, downright psychological abuse with talks and images about destruction, robbing of childhood time with countless hours in meetings and field service....etc.
@Never a jw - Well, they also spoke as to how things went in situations where one parent leaves the religion and it turns out that there seems to be a bias toward to one parent that stays in. The religious person is typically favored, and they in cases like this may have things on their side that are seen as stable like family and community.
I'm not trying to get into an argument and don't care enough to. I don't want to derail this guy's thread. Your comment just brought up something that I had literally just listened about.
@Covertsadjw - There is a grieving process to go through just like with a death. Look up the steps of grief and you'll go through them all. You may need to vent your anger. Reading here helped me, as did posting occasionally with a rant if necessary to let it out. Unfortunately you're still living in the middle of crazytown, so that's going to make it harder.
The anger comes in waves. I still get that way at times. It's all a process of processing. Decades of cult involvement don't just go away. I heard it said that it's like deleting a file on your computer. It doesn't show up but it's still there and recoverable. Over time things get written over it, bit by bit, but it takes a long time to go away and is still recoverable by programs or experts.
Maybe going to a therapist for help in processing and dealing will help. Or go to one of those places where you get to break stuff in a room for a price, lol. Music helped me at times. A good angry throwdown song released some pressure.
What do you do about the anger that one experiences when waking up. Anger of being lied to for decades, anger about wasting allot of time on nonsense.
I went to counseling. Some have suggested marriage counseling on this thread. Sure, sounds great. I doubt your wife would want to go, knowing the JW forced thinking on worldly counselors. So that leaves telling her "we" are going to a marriage counselor then going without her if she refuses, or just telling her you are going to a counselor for yourself.
And yes, I get that it is not practical financially for everyone. We don't all have the insurance or the money to go to regular counseling. My insurance did cover most of it. I also discovered later, this excellent book that will help- EXITING THE JW CULT by Bonnie Zieman. ( https://www.amazon.com/EXiting-JW-Cult-Handbook-Witnesses/dp/1508477132 ) Whether you go to counseling or not, consider that book. There's a kindle version you can get without anyone seeing a print book in the mail.
In addition to agreeing with dubstepped's comments on a grieving process, I also believe newly awakened JWs often have feelings of embarrassment and shame for even having considered anything against the JW religion that person may have been born into. They automatically have feelings of doing wrong while the active JW remains on higher moral ground which maybe why JW opinions are often given higher significance initially. These feelings are purposely programmed by WT to prevent JWs from reading, listening, viewing, thinking or speaking anything critical of the religion.
Until an awakened JW comes to accept and become comfortable that he/she hasn't done anything wrong, that sense of shame will often paralyze the person from moving forward in exiting the religion or helping his/her children to consider other views or discuss JW teachings in a critical fashion.
Covert:. While it is natural to feel an initial sense of loss and regret for the time spent within the religion, please remember that you can't undo what has already happened but can only control what you will do today and in the future. By becoming consumed by past regrets, may only paralyze you from enjoying life moving forward. Be relieved that you awakened now as opposed to in another 5, 10, 20 years, or perhaps never. Today is the first day to the rest of your life.
Thank you much
I also believe newly awakened JWs often have feelings of embarrassment and shame for even having considered anything against the JW religion ....These feelings are purposely programmed by WT to prevent JWs from reading, listening, viewing, thinking or speaking anything critical of the religion
Incognito is right, the programming is very, very strong. Don't underestimate the mental manipulation of this cult.
As an example even now after 29 years out I feel a moment's embarrassment at laughing at a dirty joke and I used to think it was because of our sexually repressed upbringing in the religion. Then I realised I was ashamed because we were taught not to laugh at anything sexual because it's a gift from God. All things are clean to clean people, blah blah, blah.
I'm not sexually repressed now but still feel a slight pang of shame going against the JW programming. Believe me the mind control of this religion would surprise even the KGB.