Favourite Comedy Quotes

by LoveUniHateExams 23 Replies latest social humour

  • LoveUniHateExams

    Great replies everyone!

    Steve2 - that was a good one. I also like Brian's mother (played by Terry Jones) telling Brian "leave that Welsh tart alone!" That quote stayed with me for some reason. I think it was because a lady spoke with a Welsh accent in what was supposed to be 1st century Palestine.

    Great quote, Tal.

    Jhine - fork 'andles-four candles sketch was very good!

  • LoveUniHateExams

    Here's another great piece of comedy dialog:

    (Rimmer has found out that he beat his opponent and is now a captain aboard the Holoship, in series 5)

    "I'm not good at making speeches and, given the choice, probably wouldn't have chosen you as friends. But I just want to say that over the years, I have come to regard you as ... people ... I met."

  • talesin

    We *must* have some George Carlin, and what better than his thoughts on religion? : P

    Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.
  • Billzfan23
    Always walk a mile in someone else's shoes. Because, if it goes wrong, you'll be a mile away from them, and you will have their shoes.
  • jhine

    Thanks Snugglebunny , and of course when they did this sketch we Brits didn't have all the 'elf and safety rules that the EU have kindly bestowed upon us .

    Another classic sketch is the one where Eric Morecambe " plays " Grieg's piano concerto for Andrew Preview , that well known conductor . Unfortunately that seems to be blocked by the BBC .


  • Ultimate Axiom
    Ultimate Axiom

    Always plan for tomorrow. That way you don't have to do anything today.

  • jookbeard
    has to be some Blackadder Goes Forth quotes here
  • LoveUniHateExams

    Melchett: God, it's a barren, featureless desert out there, isn't it?

    Darling: The other side, sir!

  • Iown Mylife
    Iown Mylife

    From the MONKEES tv show, Mike:

    Well I hate to inherit and run...

    (My granddaughter is crazy about the MONKEES now)


  • baker
    I can't stop thinking of the movie "History of the World" , where Moses is bringing the 3 tablets of stone down from the mountain, and he says, "Here are the 15 (drops one of the tablets) err 10 commandments"

Share this