Malisa,
Intelligence and real knowledge are the only tools a person has to combat a control and brainwashed mind. If you can try and break down your parents letter and you might see what you can say to give them something to think about.
They said;
<<<You mighYou are the first to say you can't be a hypocrite to your self. Neither can wet >>
You might say you do not see them as hypocrites by choice but only going back and forth in their beliefs according to the constant changes from the watchtower society. You see them being forced to make changes in minds according to the changing in the prophecies and prediction of the men running the organization back in New York. Bring out the predictions about 1975 and after the year passed the society blaming it's members for reading too much into what they said.
You can then bring out how one of the main teachings of the Watchtower organization was the generation that were old enough to observe the first world war in 1914 would not pass away before Armageddon came and since they are all just about gone the society all of a sudden came up with new light and once again changed a long standing and major doctrine to fit the unfulfilled prophecies.
You can tell them exactly what you told us in that you do not want to come off like an apostate. But, you can no longer blindly accept major prophecy changes as new light but instead using logic and intelligence to see that the society uses prophecies like those to keep their people afraid and in line but when the prophecy is shown to be false by the simple reason of the time and events that prove them wrong. You do not want to continue to tell people about new prophecies that will also not come true. To you, that will make you a hypocrite and a liar.
<<You know very well that your mother and I love you dearly >>
You may ask your dad to define what he feels the meaning of "love" is. Ask him to look up what the bible defines as love and ask him if that definition includes the words "unless the watchtower society adds amendments to keep those who do not agree with them asking questions"?
<<We want to tell you that it’s a hard thing to remind you of how as Jehovah’s servants we follow the scriptural admonition to not be eating with one who has turned their back on the teachings we get from the bible. >>
Tell your dad that you will gladly come back to the religion if he can show you the scripture that has the word "disfellowshipped" in it. When he tells you that it doesn't exist ask him about the scripture that says to not add anything to what has been written. Then ask him if that isn't what the watchtower society has done to fit their needs and keep those who dare to question them away from those who blindly accept.
<<There is no doubt in our minds of how we need to be >>
Ask your dad to read what he just said. He said that this is how they "need" to be? Then ask him if this is how he truly feels in his heart as how they "want" to be? Tell him that "needing" to be is not the same as "wanting". Ask him if in his heart and as a man and as your father if this "need" goes against his "want". Ask him if he has ever wrestled with what his heart an intelligent mind told him he truly "felt" in relation to what the society told him he "needed" to believe.
<<Though there is great sorrow in our hearts with the path you chose. >>
Tell your dad that this is not the path you chose but rather the path "they" chose. You have no rules telling you not to eat or associate with your parents that you love. The true meaning of "love' would not do that. It is the watchtower society telling them they cannot eat or associate with you, their daughter who loves them. Tell them that you have come to understand in your mind and heart that the watchtower society is not your parent, it is an incorporated religion that started a little over a hundred years ago and have changed their teachings several times in that time to keep their members selling their books and magazines. The religion has such a control over their members minds that they have the power to rip familles apart and redefine the true meaning of love and convince their followers that if they do not do as they say, they will die. That threat of death is right around the corner and has been frozen there since the religion started.
<<We feel out of all our children (except for Sara) you are the most kind hearted one of the family and you show the most feeling and compassion than all of us, and that is one of the things we love about you. >>
Ask your dad to really think about the statement he just made here. Ask him to read it over and over again. Tell him you haven't changed. You still are kind hearted, and you still feel compassion for people. Disagreeing with the religion has not nor will it ever change that. The only difference now is you feel you can no longer lie to yourself about your true feelings. Certain things in the religion are wrong and to keep acting like you believe in things that change once they are proven to be wrong goes against anything that your parents taught you about being truthful. Tell him that they instilled in you the need to be honest and in all honesty you can no longer go along with a religion that hides the fact that they have made false prophecies and have hidden the fat that they protect pedophiles in order to make them selves look blameless in the eyes of the world.
<<This last conversation and disrespectful response was a direct challenge for us to choose between obedience to what the scriptures teach us or not, and we have got to listen. Yes you are right that it may not be right in your eyes, or in the eyes of people who are not Jehovah's witnesses who may think it is wrong. >>
Ask your dad exactly who taught him to toss his own child away? Was it the scriptures or was it the Watchtower Bible and tract society? As him if he thinks they will ever change their mind and call it "new light" and allow him to show real love to his daughter again? If they can change the major teaching about the Gentile times, something as simple as loving your daughter who feels she can no longer lie to people on their behalf shouldn't be that hard to do.
<<Your mother and I can’t just choose what we want to believe and what we don’t what to believe >>
Tell your dad this is not true. They both choose to believe the JW religion and have accepted the fact that the religion tells them not to investigate or listen to any other way of thinking. To you, that sounds like they did indeed choose what to believe and what not to believe.
<<We can’t just take the beliefs and choose from column A and then some from B. You know what we believe. That’s not how we do things, we need to accept all that is written. >>
Ask your dad if he once believed that Armageddon was going to come before 1975? Ask your dad if he once thought those who believed the watchtower organization and were alive in 1914 would never die? Now ask him if he has chosen to believe something different now. Then ask him if that is what he meant by believing something in column A and then not believing it when it is changed in column B.
Well, this is enough for now. I know you did not want to come off as being too apostate but that is exactly how your parents are going to look at you anyway. You might as well be totally honest with them and give them something intelligent to think about.
One of two things will happen. They will either make the final cut on the string, or they will start to use their brains and think a little.
Good luck,
Dave