Hilarious 10-Commandments criticism from Slate

by Phantom Stranger 47 Replies latest jw friends

  • Ravyn
    Ravyn

    The Nine Satanic Statements

    from The Satanic Bible, ©1969

    by Anton Szandor LaVey

    1. Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence!

    2. Satan represents vital existence instead of spiritual pipe dreams!

    3. Satan represents undefiled wisdom instead of hypocritical self-deceit!

    4. Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it instead of love wasted on ingrates!

    5. Satan represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek!

    6. Satan represents responsibility to the responsible instead of concern for psychic vampires!

    7. Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his “divine spiritual and intellectual development,” has become the most vicious animal of all!

    8. Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification!

    9. Satan has been the best friend the Church has ever had, as He has kept it in business all these years!

    -----------------------------------------

    The Nine Satanic Sins

    by Anton Szandor LaVey ©1987

    1. Stupidity—The top of the list for Satanic Sins. The Cardinal Sin of Satanism. It’s too bad that stupidity isn’t painful. Ignorance is one thing, but our society thrives increasingly on stupidity. It depends on people going along with whatever they are told. The media promotes a cultivated stupidity as a posture that is not only acceptable but laudable. Satanists must learn to see through the tricks and cannot afford to be stupid.

    2. Pretentiousness—Empty posturing can be most irritating and isn’t applying the cardinal rules of Lesser Magic. On equal footing with stupidity for what keeps the money in circulation these days. Everyone’s made to feel like a big shot, whether they can come up with the goods or not.

    3. Solipsism—Can be very dangerous for Satanists. Projecting your reactions, responses and sensibilities onto someone who is probably far less attuned than you are. It is the mistake of expecting people to give you the same consideration, courtesy and respect that you naturally give them. They won’t. Instead, Satanists must strive to apply the dictum of “Do unto others as they do unto you.” It’s work for most of us and requires constant vigilance lest you slip into a comfortable illusion of everyone being like you. As has been said, certain utopias would be ideal in a nation of philosophers, but unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately, from a Machiavellian standpoint) we are far from that point.

    4. Self-deceit—It’s in the “Nine Satanic Statements” but deserves to be repeated here. Another cardinal sin. We must not pay homage to any of the sacred cows presented to us, including the roles we are expected to play ourselves. The only time self-deceit should be entered into is when it’s fun, and with awareness. But then, it’s not self-deceit!

    5. Herd Conformity—That’s obvious from a Satanic stance. It’s all right to conform to a person’s wishes, if it ultimately benefits you. But only fools follow along with the herd, letting an impersonal entity dictate to you. The key is to choose a master wisely instead of being enslaved by the whims of the many.

    6. Lack of Perspective—Again, this one can lead to a lot of pain for a Satanist. You must never lose sight of who and what you are, and what a threat you can be, by your very existence. We are making history right now, every day. Always keep the wider historical and social picture in mind. That is an important key to both Lesser and Greater Magic. See the patterns and fit things together as you want the pieces to fall into place. Do not be swayed by herd constraints—know that you are working on another level entirely from the rest of the world.

    7. Forgetfulness of Past Orthodoxies—Be aware that this is one of the keys to brainwashing people into accepting something new and different, when in reality it’s something that was once widely accepted but is now presented in a new package. We are expected to rave about the genius of the creator and forget the original. This makes for a disposable society.

    8. Counterproductive Pride—That first word is important. Pride is great up to the point you begin to throw out the baby with the bathwater. The rule of Satanism is: if it works for you, great. When it stops working for you, when you’ve painted yourself into a corner and the only way out is to say, I’m sorry, I made a mistake, I wish we could compromise somehow, then do it.

    9. Lack of Aesthetics—This is the physical application of the Balance Factor. Aesthetics is important in Lesser Magic and should be cultivated. It is obvious that no one can collect any money off classical standards of beauty and form most of the time so they are discouraged in a consumer society, but an eye for beauty, for balance, is an essential Satanic tool and must be applied for greatest magical effectiveness. It’s not what’s supposed to be pleasing—it’s what is. Aesthetics is a personal thing, reflective of one’s own nature, but there are universally pleasing and harmonious configurations that should not be denied.

    Ravyn
  • Phantom Stranger
    Phantom Stranger

    Oooooh, good, Rav. That should cause some people to get wound up like a cheap watch.

  • RunningMan
    RunningMan

    It looks like Satan is a better writer than God.

  • Yerusalyim
    Yerusalyim

    Rem,

    Your reading of the constitution and mine are different. The Establishment clause is just that....CONGRESS shall not ESTABLISH a religion...no religion is established by displaying the 10 Commandments. Had the US been founded by a bunch of Buddhists then it would be appropriate to display the Four Truths and the Eightfold Noble Path...

    That Moore was pushing HIS particular brand of Christianity is problematic for me...but for a Federal Judge to rule in a state issue...well, I guess we should be used to Judicial Activism in the counrty.

    OK SS, how is it that I am a "pharisee" or a member of the "sanhedrin"? Jesus was mostly likely a Pharisee himself.

  • heathen
    heathen

    Ironically , I'm thinking it may have been more appropriate for the judge in this case to have set up an alter to baal so all the abortionists could worship it . WTF most of the time so did ancient Israel .

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    Yeru

    Jesus was mostly likely a Pharisee himself.

    Not a chance. It's possible he was a rabbi.

    OK SS, how is it that I am a "pharisee" or a member of the "sanhedrin"?

    To start w, you said:

    I wish the 10 (or all 613) had MORE relevance in society today

    From http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/13444a.htm

    the Sanhedrin, where a majority of Pharisees held sway
    Since the Beth-Din had to deal frequently with legal matters, it was natural that many of its members should be chosen from among men specially given to the study of the Law; this is why we so often hear of the scribes in the Sanhedrin. Most of those scribes, during the last forty years of the institution's existence, were Pharisees,

    While the sanhedrin may not have been a continuation of the 70 elders that moses appointed to judge the people based on the laws (613), by appointing 70 men to the sanhedrin, it was patterned after moses' executive body.

    How pharasaic was jesus? Not at all.

    From http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/11789b.htm

    During these persecutions of Antiochus the Pharisees became the most rigid defenders of the Jewish religion and traditions. In this cause many suffered martyrdom (I Mach., i, 41 sq.), and so devoted were they to the prescriptions of the Law that on one occasion when attacked by the Syrians on the Sabbath they refused to defend themselves (I Mach., ii, 42; ibid., v, 3 sq.). They considered it an abomination to even eat at the same board with the heathens or have any social relations with them whatsoever. Owing to their heroic devotedness their influence over the people became great and far-reaching, and in the course of time they, instead of the priests, became the sources of authority. In the time of Our Lord such was their power and prestige that they sat and taught in "Moses' seat". This prestige naturally engendered arrogance and conceit, and led to a perversion in many respects of the conservative ideals of which they had been such staunch supporters. In many passages of the Gospels, Christ is quoted as warning the multitude against them in scathing terms. "The scribes and the Pharisees have sitten in the chair of Moses. All things therefore whatsoever they shall say to you, observe and do: but according to their works do ye not; for they say and do not. For they bind heavy and insupportable burdens, and lay them on men's shoulders; but with a finger of their own they will not move them. And all their works they do for to be seen of men. For they make their phylacteries broad, and enlarge their fringes. And they love the first places at feasts, and the first chairs in the synagogues. And salutations in the market place, and to be called by men, Rabbi" (Matt., xxiii, 1-8). Then follows the terrible arraignment of the scribes and Pharisees for their hypocrisy, their rapacity, and their blindness (ibid., 13-36).

    Jesus condemned the pharisees:

    Mt5:20For I say to you, that unless your righteousness exceeds the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven.

    Mt23:13"But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you shut up the kingdom of heaven against men; for you neither go in yourselves, nor do you allow those who are entering to go in. 14Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you devour widows' houses, and for a pretense make long prayers. Therefore you will receive greater condemnation.[3]
    15"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you travel land and sea to win one proselyte, and when he is won, you make him twice as much a son of hell as yourselves.
    16"Woe to you, blind guides, who say, "Whoever swears by the temple, it is nothing; but whoever swears by the gold of the temple, he is obliged to perform it.' 17Fools and blind! For which is greater, the gold or the temple that sanctifies[4] the gold? 18And, "Whoever swears by the altar, it is nothing; but whoever swears by the gift that is on it, he is obliged to perform it.' 19Fools and blind! For which is greater, the gift or the altar that sanctifies the gift? 20Therefore he who swears by the altar, swears by it and by all things on it. 21He who swears by the temple, swears by it and by Him who dwells[5] in it. 22And he who swears by heaven, swears by the throne of God and by Him who sits on it.
    23"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faith. These you ought to have done, without leaving the others undone. 24Blind guides, who strain out a gnat and swallow a camel!
    25"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you cleanse the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of extortion and self-indulgence.[6] 26Blind Pharisee, first cleanse the inside of the cup and dish, that the outside of them may be clean also.
    27"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men's bones and all uncleanness. 28Even so you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.
    29"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! Because you build the tombs of the prophets and adorn the monuments of the righteous, 30and say, "If we had lived in the days of our fathers, we would not have been partakers with them in the blood of the prophets.'
    31"Therefore you are witnesses against yourselves that you are sons of those who murdered the prophets. 32Fill up, then, the measure of your fathers' guilt. 33Serpents, brood of vipers! How can you escape the condemnation of hell? 34Therefore, indeed, I send you prophets, wise men, and scribes: some of them you will kill and crucify, and some of them you will scourge in your synagogues and persecute from city to city, 35that on you may come all the righteous blood shed on the earth, from the blood of righteous Abel to the blood of Zechariah, son of Berechiah, whom you murdered between the temple and the altar. 36Assuredly, I say to you, all these things will come upon this generation.

    The pharisees condemned jesus:

    Mt9:3And at once some of the scribes said within themselves, "This Man blasphemes!"
    Lk6:1 Now it happened on the second Sabbath after the first[1] that He went through the grainfields. And His disciples plucked the heads of grain and ate them, rubbing them in their hands. 2And some of the Pharisees said to them, "Why are you doing what is not lawful to do on the Sabbath?"

    Mt12:9 Now when He had departed from there, He went into their synagogue. 10And behold, there was a man who had a withered hand. And they asked Him, saying, "Is it lawful to heal on the Sabbath?"--that they might accuse Him.
    11Then He said to them, "What man is there among you who has one sheep, and if it falls into a pit on the Sabbath, will not lay hold of it and lift it out? 12Of how much more value then is a man than a sheep? Therefore it is lawful to do good on the Sabbath." 13Then He said to the man, "Stretch out your hand." And he stretched it out, and it was restored as whole as the other. 14Then the Pharisees went out and plotted against Him, how they might destroy Him.
    Mt12:22 Then one was brought to Him who was demon-possessed, blind and mute; and He healed him, so that the blind and[5] mute man both spoke and saw. 23And all the multitudes were amazed and said, "Could this be the Son of David?"
    24Now when the Pharisees heard it they said, "This fellow does not cast out demons except by Beelzebub,[6] the ruler of the demons."
    25But Jesus knew their thoughts, and said to them: "Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation, and every city or house divided against itself will not stand. 26If Satan casts out Satan, he is divided against himself. How then will his kingdom stand? 27And if I cast out demons by Beelzebub, by whom do your sons cast them out? Therefore they shall be your judges. 28But if I cast out demons by the Spirit of God, surely the kingdom of God has come upon you. 29Or how can one enter a strong man's house and plunder his goods, unless he first binds the strong man? And then he will plunder his house. 30He who is not with Me is against Me, and he who does not gather with Me scatters abroad.

    31 "Therefore I say to you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven men. 32Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man, it will be forgiven him; but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit, it will not be forgiven him, either in this age or in the age to come.

    Even paul, who thought somewhat like a pharisee, having been one, claimed that the laws were removed -

    Col 2:13And you, being dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He has made alive together with Him, having forgiven you all trespasses, 14having wiped out the handwriting of requirements that was against us, which was contrary to us. And He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross. 15Having disarmed principalities and powers, He made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them in it.
    16So let no one judge you in food or in drink, or regarding a festival or a new moon or sabbaths, 17which are a shadow of things to come, but the substance is of Christ. 18Let no one cheat you of your reward, taking delight in false humility and worship of angels, intruding into those things which he has not[1] seen, vainly puffed up by his fleshly mind, 19and not holding fast to the Head, from whom all the body, nourished and knit together by joints and ligaments, grows with the increase that is from God.
    20Therefore,[2] if you died with Christ from the basic principles of the world, why, as though living in the world, do you subject yourselves to regulations--

    Verdict: SOME PHARISEE LIKE THINKING.

    SS

  • Yerusalyim
    Yerusalyim

    SS,

    Actually...many of the beliefs Jesus held were taken from the Pharisaic theology...specifically...belief in the afterlife and a few others.

    Jesus was hardest on the pharisees...just like I'm most critical of soldiers that violate our code of ethics.

    As to my wanting the 613 Commandments to have more relevance in society making me a pharisee...it doesn't. That just means I wish God's word was a bit more honored. Remember...Jesus never once in his life violated one of these commandments. All I want is the SPIRIT of that fulfillment to prevade amongst us.

  • Blueblades
    Blueblades

    What about the words imprinted on the" ALMIGHTY DOLLAR ". 'In God We Trust'.

    When do we remove that statement from the paper issue that we all need to do business with and has nothing to do with God!

  • Mr Lebowski
    Mr Lebowski

    Copy that, Yer.

    But given the choice, I'd favor the NT-fuzzies over the OT-fire-and-brimstone. Just my perspective.

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    Yeru

    As to my wanting the 613 Commandments to have more relevance in society making me a pharisee...it doesn't. That just means I wish God's word was a bit more honored.

    So, you don't actually want those laws applied?

    All I want is the SPIRIT of that fulfillment to prevade amongst us.

    Not sure if my understanding of that statement is what you actually mean. Standard christianity claims that jesus fulfilled those 613 laws, thus voiding them, replacing them w new laws, his laws. However, exactly what his laws to christians are, has been argued for milleniums. Care to enlarge? What is the spirit of the fulfillment?

    Remember...Jesus never once in his life violated one of these commandments.

    Actually, he broke a few of them. I'll post something on this later.

    SS

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