I am sorry people have been so hurt by this 😞
Jehovah's Witness Recovery is no more...
JWR disfellowshipped its members...
Yeah, I'm a bit all over the place with my feelings on this. I had enormous respect for Rifter. Not having any explanation as to why he decided to shut down the site so abruptly leaves a lot of unanswered questions. Was there really no reasonable solution? Why couldn't a new owner be identified? Was money a problem? Did we need new admins, moderators? We're users misbehaving? I dunno. What would have been wrong with a gradual phase out over a few months? It definitely has to be more than just a desire to move away from exJW activities. I feel bad for DS who seems to be having to face the music on his own. Anyway, still struggling with this loss.
I am really glad to find you here. You always give us something to think about, though we may not always agree. Trying to put myself in the position of someone new to JWR for whatever reason...if it were me, I would have kept searching or made an appointment with a therapist, or called a hotline of necessary. I do understand that some may feel too vulnerable to trust another site. I get it. And I'm not saying that I agree with the way JWR was shut down. I DO wish we'd been given some time and support. But it wasn't my decision...and none of us can be responsible for the reactions of thousands of people. It's difficult for all of us to one degree or another...I'm just doing my best to respond like an adult while presenting another way to look at things. That's all.
It really was predominantly the need to move on from all things JW and the feeling that if the site was still up he wouldn't be able to move on. And yes, a few members engaged in behaviour that was very wearing for the whole team. I think that was the straw that broke the camel's back.
Rifter had obviously been dwelling on this for a while even though he only gave the rest of the admin/mods a few days notice. And yes I appreciate that's more than the rest of you got. I did not think it was my place to go against his request and announce the forum was closing and given that everyone else was in the dark it felt inappropriate to me to start a personal goodbye thread so I kept quiet.
My sincere apologies for my part in that.
A week with a firm drop dead count down timer at the top would have allowed time to copy important info.
This is going to sound lame but some of my best writing of the last 2 years was posted on that site. If I had any idea it was going to disappear with a poof I would have copied and saved. Not the end of the world. Just OUCH!
So grateful to the site and all the moderators. One of the reasons that site was successful was because it was extremely well moderated. It was an elegantly organized site and will be hugely missed.
My current fade is going freakishly well in no small part to the help and support from friends on that site and the excellent advice there in general.
I woke up. I freaked out. I read and read and read. I finally joined and posted. I told my story.
I read and participated. I responded to other peoples stuff. The layers peeled away.
Divorced my husband. They disfellowshipped HIM! I'm faded. The kids still talk to me. Who knows how long.
I'm making friends real life xJWs and nonJWs. Figuring it all out.
JWR was there to help. I wasn't quite done with it but was transitioning out.
Thank you JWR for everything.
So long and thanks for all the fish.
xJWR members please feel comfortable contacting me at TreeoflifeJWR@gmail.com
We understand your position MM. But I think your loyalty to the admin of JWR is a bit perplexing. We know that this wasn't your fault and that you tried to reason with them. I do not hold anything against you. So the adamant defense of them in light of how we are reacting rubs the wrong way.
Personal growth for themselves but chaos, upset, and the feeling of betrayal for us. The scales are not balancing out (for us anyway). Basically they carried out their selfish plan with no thought for the people they claimed to want to help. Just "I'm tired of this weight around my neck, fuck it, 'YANK' the plug is out of the wall now, yeah!'
Spin it any way you want, but that's about the size of it...(no ill feeling toward you MM)
I'm not defending the decision TimeBandit it was flat out wrong. I'm just asking that people don't heap blame on DS. It wasn't his decision.
And I totally understand people's anger and upset.
I am glad to see you too!
You always give us something to think about, though we may not always agree.
This sentiment is precious to me. I never sought out ex-JWs when I was leaving the cult. There were a number of reasons, but paramount among them was the ingrained indoctrination that people must always think the same things and be in agreement in order to get along. I didn't think I would be accepted when I am so opinionated, and often have opinions that others don't agree with. I absolutely love how accepting of different opinions and feelings all the exJWs on these forums are. We can agree to disagree. We can value each other even when we don't agree. We can completely dislike what someone has said, and yet still learn from it. This is the best thing that I will take away from JWR and bring into the Jehovah's-Witness site.