The pain you are feeling is intended to break you. It doesn't matter to them that you are now expressing remorse, they want you to suffer enough that you will never risk rebelling again, a year is usually considered the minimum amount of time. It has nothing to do with the bible and everything to do with power and control. The word "disfellowship" is not even in the bible, nor is there any mention of specific time periods of shunning after a person expresses remorse and changes their conduct. Did the father of the prodigal son tell him he had to suffer for a period of time after he returned? No, he was welcomed back with open arms.
If you are willing to continue on with this humiliation to regain contact with your family, that's entirely up to you of course, but I would urge you to use the time before you are reinstated to research this religion you belong to and find out what they are all about. I am sorry to say I was in for twenty eight years but was still not aware of many things about it, because they hid their history of false date predictions, doctrine flip flops and pedophilia issues. Do yourself a favor and become educated so that you at least know what you are going back to.
You should also learn about cults and the specific techniques they use to manipulate people. Some things common to cults:
- They control your time, as in numerous meetings and other time requirements
- They control your relationships, as in being told not to associate with non members, especially former members
- They claim to be the sole authority or have special knowledge
- They use fear, obligation and guilt to control people.
- They control information, people are warned not to trust anything not written by them.
By the way, I was disfellowshipped at one time myself, so I know first hand how painful it is. It was so painful I immediately went back, something I deeply regret now, as I wasted another fifteen years in the religion. I have been out now for sixteen years and have never been happier.