Can’t cope with being disfellowshipped…..Need some advice

by xxBettyBoopxx 51 Replies latest jw experiences

  • TheListener


    You said you were disfellowshipped many months ago. Depending on the elders and the reason for the DF'ing it may take awhile to get reinstated, even if you're doing all that is required. I don't know if 'many months' is 6 or 12 or even 18. But, there are a lot of ex-elders on here that can probably tell you a realistic timeframe for reinstatement. From my experience it all depends on the offense, how the congregation viewed you before the DF'ing and how you've been acting since.

    I am really sorry that you have lost contact with your family and friends (well, the ones that aren't secretly talking with you). When my wife and I had kids (she's still a witness) I told her they that I would not cut them off if they made mistakes in life. I think that disfellowshipping is disgusting and 100% against what the bible teaches. You might feel better if you research disfellowshipping and learn for yourself that it really isn't a biblical teaching as we were always taught it was.

    Please keep posting and sharing your feelings and you will get a lot of support here.

  • ToesUp

    Welcome Betty. It is sad the emotional abuse these "men" (no holy spirit) lay upon their "spiritual family."

    Everyone's reason for going back is typically to get contact with their family. Emotional blackmail. It's not my place to judge you. You are a better person than I am. I would do as someone else said and go tell em to F off.

    We have a family member that the Elders did the same thing to him/her. Made him/her grovel for 2 years. Shame on them! It sickens me how they do this to people. No love.

    Do what feels right to you. But I (no judgement here) would run like hell. If your family doesn't want you back, screw em.

    Where else is the world do people do this to others? Just in a few crazy cults. I have 2 kids and wild horses couldn't get me away from them. EVER!

    Keep reading and learning. There is more about this cult than meets the eye. Do as someone said, go to JW facts. I learned so much there. I finally figured out why WT doesn't want you to go on the internet. It exposes them for the liars they really are!

    Hugs to you.

  • NVR2L8

    Alarm bells..."a burning hell where people suffer for eternity" is a belief contrary to the JW doctrine...just saying.

  • snugglebunny
    You should walk in, tell the elders to go fuck themselves, and walk straight out.

    And tell them you have no secrets, just like this lady:

  • Giles Gray
    Giles Gray
    NVR2L8-" Alarm bells..."a burning hell where people suffer for eternity" is a belief contrary to the JW doctrine...just saying."

    Yes... Just waiting now for the controversial 'evolution' thread.

  • slimboyfat

    Good point strange comment about hell. Wind up?

  • eyeuse2badub

    Obviously you are not repentant (from a jw point of view). You can't be lurking on and contributing to an "apostate" website if you are repentant (from a jw point of view).

    However, if you really need to be reinstated, kiss their ass and tell them anything they want to hear so that, in their 'little game of authority', they will feel sooooo important and "mercifully" reinstate you. Remember that it all about them and their power over you!

    just saying!

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    welcome to the site young lady

    "That would certainly help with the isolation, but I am not sure how simple it is to just get a boyfriend"

    its easy--just wear the sort of clothes in your avatar

  • truth_b_known

    This does not help, but keep this in mind - You cannot expect a reasonable answer to your questions because the whole situation is not based on reason.

    Three, uneducated, untrained men listen to a person bear his sole on an alleged act of misconduct. He admits his actions were wrong and begs forgiveness. Now these three men are supposedly able to -

    1) Be human lie detectors

    2) Read your heart to tell if you're repentant or not

    The definition of repent means "to feel remorse". Angels are not even able to tell if a human is repentant. How would imperfect window washers and carpet layers be able to read your heart? Even being "spirit directed" cannot help imperfect men read another's heart.

    I was privately reproved by a judicial committee. I thought the whole thing was BS. My wife and I messed around once just before we were married. The elders said they believed I was truly repentant, but I had to be punished. So, there I was, first time offender who was an exemplary brother having all my privileges taken from me for something I could not do again because I was now married to the person I sinned with. My wife would literally have to die or leave me for another man for me to be in a position to commit the same sin.

    Punishment is a part of discipline, but you can be disciplined without punishment.

  • BluesBrother

    You are a Witness who believes in Hellfire ? .... Are you sure it is J Witnesses that you wish to return to?

    Do not question the role of Holy Spirit , just do what Slimboy Fat said on page one

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