All of the above advice is very good. If you can try and sit tight for a while.
Ask yourself what love is. This is what the disfellowshipping arrangement claims to hang on. Ask, is it loving to cause you as much mental distress as you're currently undergoing? Is it loving to shun people at the drop of a hat, and to only show them conditional love. These are hard questions, and leaving IS hard, but you've done the hardest part already.
If you're experiencing really bad depression please go to your doctor, or call a helpline, leaving can cripple people, and the sooner you're able to talk to someone and to build new relationships with people who accept you for who you are the better. Opening up can be terrifying, but people tend to be sympathetic, and empathetic and surprised too at the way you're being treated. Talk, think and rest, and try to imagine a life away from the organisation. How do you want your life to look, what does a good life mean to you, what's your purpose? Ask these things, seek help from others outside, and slowly you can build a life for yourself outside of the witnesses. It's not easy, doesn't happen over night, but believe me, in years to come you'll look back and see how brave you are, and how strong you've been. So many people here have been through the same things.
