Marrying Young

by Descender 42 Replies latest jw experiences

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  JT

  I blame the whole abstinence before marriage thing

  i disagree 110% not having sex has little to do with the issues that he is facing there are millions of kids who have sex and millions who do- the problem is for jw having sex IS ALL THEY HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO

  there are many studies that show how young folks who are involved in sports and other activities have been shown to wait longer than those kids who go home after school WITH NOTHING TO DO

  everyone knows that a lot of idle time in the hands of a young person will never produce the same results as a young person with things to do

  when one considers that jw kids HAVE NOTHING that they can do that they will be praised for , unlike other kids who can excel in school, sports. and other activities and be praised by thier parents and chruches many times

  a jw kid will never be praised for being good in the band, sports or grades by thier parents or religion for the most part

  never will you see an ALL "A" STUDENT being on the platform for getting good grades, yet lots of churches are so proud of thier youth when they get scholarships, etc

  the reason in my view that jw marry is they really have NOTHING TO DO
• 

  JT

  It’s a classic JW, ‘Recipe for Disaster’.

  GREAT POINT
• 

  ESTEE

  see a flaw here and there which might culminate in him finding his own brain one day.

  LOL!!!...It has been my experience that no 18 year old male has a brain!!!!!!

  ESTEE
• 

  cruzanheart

  i disagree 110% not having sex has little to do with the issues that he is facing there are millions of kids who have sex and millions who do- the problem is for jw having sex IS ALL THEY HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO

  GOOD POINT, JT!!!

  Nina
• 

  Mulan

  Well................I would have to say that usually 18 is way too young for a boy to marry. I think many 18 year old girls are mature enough to handle it though.

  Dave and I were 17 and 19 and here we are, still married, very happy, and raised 4 fantastic kids. Maybe we were the exception, but we did a good job, and we love each other still, almost 41 years later.
• 

  doodle-v

  Sounds to me like your brother is thinking with his "little" head

  Its very sad and very true that many JW's get married very young, we can all speculate on the reason and it is fairly safe to say that the big reason is thinking that they'll get to have sex every day. As soon as the honeymoon period wears off then reality sets in.

  Its hard enough being married without the add pressures of JW heavy handed regulations, low income, little experience and little maturity. As mentioned before that's a formula for distaster if any.

  I hate to be the bearer of gloom and doom and for all i know he might turn out ok, but honestly he really needs to experience LIFE before he becomes responsible for someone elses. So what to do?? hmmm I would try to have a serious talk with him. Unfortunatly he may not be thinking clearly with the raging hormones and all so you need to find a way to really get through to him.

  well thats my two cents, take it for what its worth and good luck!

  Doodle-V
• 

  caligirl

  I have to agree that this sounds like a disaster waiting to happen, and I am speaking from experience. I got married 2 weeks out of high school. I was 15 when we started dating, 16 when we got engaged. I thought marriage was the way to go. I figured that since I couldn't go to college and had no intention of pioneering and living with my parents, marriage was the only future I had, so I had to find someone young and get married quick to insure myself a life. The marriage lasted 9 years, very little of which was happy.

  I hope that your brother decides not to go through with it. What looks to be the ideal mate now may not look so "ideal" when he is 25 and looking back at everything he never accomplished.
• 

  RAYZORBLADE

  I was 18, engaged.

  I was 18, and very naive and stupid: I was a JW.

  That speaks volumes.
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  William Penwell

  Yeah a bad combination, a no brain male and a "flighty" bossy female. Poor chap I real feel sorry for him.

  Will

  "
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  Thunder Rider

  I don't think the age issue is as critical as the lack of maturity that seems to plauge wittness youth. The limits placed on them as to association with non-JWs and the fact that they are so focused on a future that will never happen, makes them totally unprepared for "REAL" life.

  Sheila and I married at 20 and are going to celebrate our 20th anniversary in April.She didn't have the "dub" upbringing that I did. My maturity level was somewhat higher than most at that age as I had practicaly raised my 11 brothers and sisters. I was not completely clueless when I started my own family. I didn't go to college and that sometimes bothers me now. I think I could have had an easier life, had I gotten a degree. Our income at the beginning of our marriage was about $12000.00 a year. It sucked! We had money problems and that caused friction in our relationship. We got through it but we could just as easily have not.

  The deck is stacked against him. If he has some doubts about the org., cultivate those doubts and get him the hell out of there! If he marries the "elder's daughter" so to speak, he is in for a rough time. Spare them both the tears, convince him that he needs to rethink this whole thing.

  Its hard enough being married without the add pressures of JW heavy handed regulations, low income, little experience and little maturity. As mentioned before that's a formula for distaster if any.

  Sad but true.

  ==}>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

  Thunder