First thing. My list was not meant to be absolute. Not even meant to be nitpicked. I don't expect everyone to agree with MY critieria for friendship. If you have never had a friend sacrifice his/her time for you, then I honestly feel for you. If you feel like sacrificing your time for a friend makes either of you a victim. . well that's your opinion. I personally have no problem getting up at 3 am to pick up my friend who's car has run out of gas on the outskirts of town with 2 dollars in her pocket. Not only would I sacrifice my time picking her up, I'd sacrifice my money by getting her gas and my sanity by listening to her 2 year old scream in the backseat. Was she a victim for "expecting" her friend to come get her? I think not. I think she knew I was a true friend to her and I wouldn't think twice about sacrificing my time, money, or "sanity" for her.
*A friend calls you up very upset because he is having problems with his wife, you are supposed to be doing something else fairly pressing; but instead of hanging up, you sacrifice YOUR time to talk to him, reassure him, and comfort him. Why? Because you are his friend. Is he a victim for expecting this?
*Your friend's car broke down and he can't get it fixed until he gets paid on Friday. You have the money and you loan it to him because you trust him. Is he a victim for accepting it?
*Your friend has constant issues with women cheating on him. You try to help, you offer advice, but he keeps making the same mistakes!! He's driving you crazy!! Nevertheless, you listen and try to help. Why? Because he's your friend, and although he makes you crazy with his woman problems, you care and want to help.
I think that on some level you have common interests w/each person that you call a friend. Otherwise, what do you talk about, or do together? Do you discuss women, sports, politics? Even if you disagree, these subjects interest you both. I could take each of my friends and tell you how differently I am from them as you did, anybody could, but that doesn't mean there aren't any common interests.
You also mentioned missing someone as a sign of friendship. Yes, occasionally I think of them, but miss them? Not really.
Well, honestly that is a difference between us. Of course, I have lots of acquaintances but very few people that I consider a friend because I am picky. If a memory of me, or concern for me is only a fleeting thought in someone's mind every 6 months. . well. . that's not enough in my eyes. A friend to ME, misses me if a long periosd of time has passed and vice versa, even if that only means a phone call to see how I am. If a chance meeting every two years is the only way I see someone, then they are an acquaintence: knowledge of a person acquired by a relationship less intimate than friendship. Less intimate than friendship. Not devoid of value. . .just less intimate.
I can go for months without talking to or seeing them, then all of a sudden we either meet by accident or plan something and our friendship hasn't missed a beat. It's like we had seen each other yesterday.
I have many acquaintences that I am like this with. A true friend to ME though, at least attempts to stay in my life regularly. But that's just me.
The other day I heard what I thought was a pretty cool definition of "friend". That if someone called you in the middle of the night needing your help and you went, then to you they were a friend. I can truthfully say that if certain people from this board were in such a situation and called me, I'd have no problem whatsoever going out to help them (you).
Ditto. This is an example of how one would sacrifice their time if necessary.
I guess it could be said that I have more friends than I realize.
I think I have less. . . But that's okay. The people that I call friends know how very special they are to me.