The "abused" becomes the "abuser"

by stuckinarut2 14 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • stuckinarut2

    A thought occurred to me about the perpetuation of JW abusive culture.

    (I do not mean sexual abuse - I am referring to Emotional, or Behavioural abuses)

    Most JWs are raised in the oppressive and abusive culture of JW life. They have been raised with low self esteem. Raised to believe they are sinful, never good enough, and in need of the direction by the Governing Body. They are in fear of Armageddon - and surviving through the Great Tribulation - with all its persecution narratives.

    They grow up believing the warped doctrines and are subjected to the distorted behaviours.

    They grow up being denied the right of higher education, normal dating and relationship experiences, and childhood social interactions with school friends etc...

    But somewhere along the line, these ones becomes adults - strictly adhering to the doctrines. They raise their own children in the same culture. Many even rise through the ranks and become appointed leaders (Pioneers, MS, Elders etc)

    SO, they become the very abusers themselves! The very enforcers of the same warped abuses that they were subjected to as children...

    And so the cycle is perpetuated!

    More victims result.....more lives are ruined!

  • Diogenesister

    I see Watchtower as a warped Frankenstein's monster - patched together by men who didn't know what they were doing - a little from Russell, a lot of Rutherford, some of Knorr with a dash of crazy Franz.

    But this patched up monster has taken off with a mind of it's own, crashing along with no one at the helm, but just replicating itself over and over. It cannot change it's essential nature without destroying itself.

    But before it's inevitable demise it takes with it many, many lives.


  • Dunedain

    Very true. You almost get the impression too that some of the "hard ass" Elders almost want to instill their will upon the teenagers.

    In other words, they feel like they had to follow all the strict rules and regulations growing, and so must everybody else.

    Hence, their abnormal fascination with sexual details during JCs, and their heavy handed punishments.

    They dont realize that its more of the same abuse, and they are just pushing the youth out the front door, never to return. No wonder they are failing.

  • resolute Bandicoot
    resolute Bandicoot

    I too have noticed this Stuckin, but I did not really understand it until I began to study the deep things of islam, they have exactly the same issue but to a truly horrific extent, two key factors are the internal verses external locus of control and the pain and repetition of being a high control group.

    Nocolai Sennels, Danish prison psychologist explains it very well, worth a read -

  • Saethydd

    Part of the reason I chose to leave outright without trying to reinstated first was that I wanted that cycle to end with me. I didn’t want my children to someday be influenced by family and pushed into that oppressive and abusive environment.

  • freddo

    Diogenesister ...

    That was a very articulate and profound post!

  • Tater-T

    That's what saved me was not wanting my daughter to be one and saving her from it all and then she turned out great and I realize maybe it would be best for me not to be in

  • Half banana
    Half banana

    Absolutely right Stuck, the JW religion encourages a culture of abuse especially harming the minds of their children who by being emotionally abused by threats of divine judgement for disobeying parents, grow up grossly subservient, with a skewed view of both the world and authority, and remain complicit with the practise of such abuse—unless they wake up!

    If they don’t, then they practise emotional and religious abuse on their own children.

    This is no longer acceptable in advanced societies. In the UK since 2015 (or 2016) it has been possible to take parents or others to court for emotional and psychological abuse. I wonder when victims of the JW religion will start responding to the opportunity which the law now affords them? Also what measures the JW cult leaders will come up with to defend the indefensible?

  • stillin

    I never saw it coming. I had some clues that my wife was abused before we got married, but I figured that love for each other and doing things "Jehovah's Way" would get us through anything. But her upbringing included hidden land mines in her personality that still go off now, years later. And she gets abusive. Not just bitchy, downright damagingly abusive.

    I should have left years ago but there were kids to pull through their teen years and now that they're grown, I have resigned myself to her ways. It's worse than "henpecked husband," believe me. I still have my fantasies, anyhow.

  • Vidiot
    stillin - "...I figured that love for each other and doing things 'Jehovah's Way' would get us through anything..."

    I think that's one of the hurdles that the WTS and JWs will never truly get over.

    The idea that "Jehovah's Way" / the "Biblical Way" of dealing with something could possibly be inadequate (compared to anything "Satan's World" comes up with) is completely unacceptable to them.

    I've even observed hard-core loyalists inclined to do the knee-jerk opposite of the secular world's way, even if the Org hasn't specifically condemned it (anyone remember something being dismissed as "Worldy wisdom"?).

    It's also, IMO, one of the reasons the child abuse cover-up problem originally started, and a significant component of why it's become so institutionalized and endemic.

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