thanks again for your welcomes!
i hope i dont stay on here all day from now on! need to work! but its my first day so i will allow myself to enjoy chatting with you all!
thanks for the links. yes i have been looking at the exjw reddit site for about 6 months now. as i said this forum i have followed since it began (was it around 2002?).
life is good (for those of us in certain countries anyway, for the rest it can be hell). leaving the truth, physically or mentally CAN be a great thing, as long as you arent too burnt already.
ill look for the book you mention on buddha, thanks. yes its crazy that you could be dfd for saying jesus is the mediator for all. the reality is that many elders have private doubts about all sorts of things, and even admit it to each other. that is not seen as a problem (at least on some bodies). the problem is only if you openly go against the wt teachings. that will get you in trouble for sure.
actually, the higher up you get (CO, branch committee etc), often the more open minded, and non orthodox they can be. amongst themselves they will debate things in the wt, and express personal views. on the platform, and one on one with the publishers you have to toe the line. i could no longer do this. of course not all "high ups" are like this but many are, and there is a new generation of young ones in service departments etc who are quite open minded.
the problem is however that the organisation cannot be reformed...if it was gods organization it wouldnt have been the way it was before! it might morph slowly into a more mainstream organization (once people like AM3 have gone) but it will be too little too late.