Slightly different approach - JW my tradition
Well I take my hat of to you closed. Because you can do something that I cant. When I was awKening I honestly thought I could play both camps believing that hey it wasn't a perfect organisation but it was good enough. 6 months later I walked out of the KH for good. It had been years before that of unhappiness and doubt that had been suppressed. If you can do it, well good for you. But for me it would just do my head in.
You were not a born-in were you?
I remember thinking as you do. I also was quite happy with good people around me. What changed it for me was thinking of the future. I knew by staying in i would be handing a future of broken families, being the outcast at school, possible blood related issues...etc to my children and my children's children...once i was awake to the truth about the truth it was simply a matter of courage. The courage to change my life. JWs call leavers 'weak'- that couldnt be further from the truth. It takes stregnth. Now i have found a much greater happiness in life.
Great to hear from you. Welcome.
you are not aggressive
You aren't, either. I appreciate your viewpoint and the way you shared it. You seem to be humble and reasonable.
I'm still trying to figure a lot of things out and my feelings/viewpoints are subject to change. I have learned a whole lot on this site.
I really think it's going to be interesting watching JWdom in the near future. What's going to happen financially? Will the publisher numbers start to go down? Will doctrine/procedure change, and, if so, how? Will construction start back strong? Will there be more closures/cutbacks?
Please hang around and contribute.
Born ins have a perspective that the converts will never have. If you actually had the mental lapse and chose this religion, that is your fault. If you were brought up in this bad joke of a religion you have my sympathy.
For anyone who has the vision to see this religion for what it is and still subject his children to it is unforgivable. You can be a liberal jdub all you want but not everyone else is. My mother was not a hard core "end is coming" type of woman but I still went to the kingdom hall regularly. That is why I did not think this world would last until i was 20. That is a fucked up and damaging world view that is fostered within this church. You cannot escape it if you raise your kids in it. That is where these asshat elders stand up on the stage and spout truths that are viewed as coming from the mouth of jehfuckinghovah. Sure, as a convert you can say "well its not really from jehovah" but hear it enough as a kid and you start to believe it. THAT IS WHY RAISING YOUR KIDS IN THIS RELIGION IS COMPLETELY FUCKED UP!!
Do you have any concept of what hearing over and over again "the end of the fucking world" does to a young kid??? Do you have any idea what hearing "is practice/games/boy/girl scouts/ more important than meetings or god?" over and over again does to a childs emotional development? This kind of manipulation intentionally destroys critical thining in kids. Not sure how young your kids are but wake the fuck up man and get THEM out.
It doesn't work for me, closed. For sure, I can not hear the focus on GB and the organization from the platform anymore. I tried it and I can not hide the effect on my face, looking angry. I know, I take it all too seriously, but I hate every aspect of it, knowing TTATT.
At the other hand, the JW lifestyle did a good thing to our family. We got good jobs because of our good presentation skills. Etc.
I worry sometimes about my 5th generation kids, and their future.
Living the JW lifestyle like you, will kill me, for true.
Welcome to the forum.
When I discovered the organisation was not what it claimed to be I had a young family. I left without hesitation. The so-called morals of the Watchtower are facile. When it comes to ethical issues that really matter they could not be any more dangerous.
How can you instill love for humanity in children when they are constantly being told that they are part of a tiny elite and the other 99.99% of the human race deserve to be eternally destroyed? How can you raise a child to believe they are "imperfect sinners" in need of redemption?
Perhaps you worry that if you leave your children will end up drunks, whores and addicts. Don't be. the "world" is full of young people who are more ethical than most JWs.
I brought my children up to be good ethical, compassionate and caring people. Getting them out of the cult as infants was the best thing I could possibly have done for them.
Teach them how to think not what to think. Insist that they question everything and demand solid reasons for anything they are asked to believe. Encourage them to investigate the very best arguments against their worldview. That cannot be achieved inside the oppression of the organisation.
Welcome, thanks for your experience. Everyone has to weigh the pros and cons and do what they think best, everyone has different circumstances and there are no easy ways out of this organization, as we all know too well.
Just food for thought, as someone who has been totally out for many years, I think I have perspective that someone who is still in could not have.
You and your family may be suffering in ways you don't realize, just because you are so used to it. I slogged along for years, not really believing in it whole heartedly, but thinking it was still a good way of life. It was only after I left that I realized how much it was affecting me in a very negative way, how toxic it all was. You say your children have been shunned through no fault of their own, do you think that didn't hurt them?
While you may feel that, on the whole, this religion is a good deal for you, it is not the same for others. Many have been abused and are suffering due to hidden child sex abuse, abusive marriages, depression, missing out on educational opportunities, etc. The person sitting next to you in the Kingdom Hall may want to leave, but they look at you and think "brother Closed keeps going and he is a nice person, so it must be the right thing to do". I know because I used to be that person, looking at good people like you who managed to keep going and thinking the problem was only with me.
Your being a part of this organization, even if it's to a lesser degree than before, validates it and gives it power and authority. You are helping to maintain the status quo of an organization you know to be corrupt, because it suits you to stay at this time. This is not a criticism, I was in for thirty years myself, but it is was it is.
There are other religions out there that offer guidance and spirituality without the negative baggage of a cult. This religion harshly criticizes other religions, but a lot of what they say is exaggerated or false. I have been to a few that were great. Not all religions believe in a literal hell, some have no doctrine, leaving it to the individual to decide and letting the bible speak for itself, their purpose is spiritual and moral support in a Christian way of life. I found it quite refreshing. They don't tell you what to think, say and do, what a concept! No burdensome requirements, just love and support.
You might consider whether you are staying because there is good in this religion, or because to change now would be very, very hard. I get it, change is scary, the path through is uncertain, and leaving will be horrible, at least for a while. It's monumental, a way of life, and you must be certain it's the right choice. But it is a choice people have made, so it is possible.
I guess we all have to do what works for us. Personally, we could not live the lie anymore. It's like staying in a loveless marriage. I hate faking it...it does not work for me.
I think the reason a lot of people seem to harbor some ill will to the religion is they have been deeply hurt. I know we have. It's hard to forget but time moves on and things get easier each day. It helps to be able to talk with others who feel the same way. You can't talk to a JW without consequences so people end up online.
hell Closed--welcome to the site.
you may not know this--but there are / have been quite a few active elders join the group over the years. quite how they can lead such a double life beats me----but i gave up beating them up over it. if its what floats their boat etc.
are you able to say what country your in ?