Well, this has been churning in my gut ever since this thread was started, and I began more than one post back, and had to delete it, because of the anger that it brought back.
My first wife committed adultery with an elder for whom I'd worked for some time...heck, he and I grew up together. This was a long and drawn out affair, I was the cuckolded husband, and in the course of multiple committee meetings involving dozens of witnesses and over 10 elders in 2 KHs, I steadfastly stood to their defense, as I couldn't imagine how either of these two people could possibly have stabbed me in the back.
Fast forward--they were disfellowshipped, and my ex-wife (now recently deceased) told me that Jay assured her that, if they just went to meetings every week, in a year they'd be reinstated: he knew the "policy," and was a decievous calculating heartless bastard (he left his own wife and children to make this all happen). They were...and one of the committee elders (who was also a close friend) told me of the decision to reinstate, and how did I feel about it? I answered: "Tom, I just don't see how the magnitude of their sins against me and against the congregation can be so easily dismissed." He agreed, but said his hands were tied.
My point being, it ain't what you've done that determines how quickly you can be reinstated: it's how you play the game.