Finally ready to join the crowd.

by Silent Knight 34 Replies latest jw friends

  • Silent Knight
    Silent Knight

    Hello, all you damn dirty apostates! Please, allow me to join this community of diseased minds.

    I have been lurking here for over 2 years and tonight I decided it's time to come out of the shadows.

    I am in the process of fading and do not wish to ruin it by giving too many personal details at this time so as to not identify myself. If elders do monitor these sites I know exactly which one from my former hall would and he knows most of my history.

    That being said, I wish to express to everyone on this forum how grateful I am to you! My exit from the Watchtower actually began 12 years ago. At that time I didn't know about TTATT, Cognitive Dissonance, FOG, BITE, Etc. I had simply been embarrassed and angered my my local congregation and so began over a decade of inactivity and restarting, coupled with doubts and fighting those doubts, which caused depression generally wasting my entire 20's. Thise doubts eventually caused me to look at evil apostate websites including this one. However, the first year of lurking I was still fighting the things I was reading and learning. Until last summer when it all finally broke thru and I woke up. I also didn't understand what happen to me next. A crushing depression hit me that almost ended my marriage, that did cause me to loose my job, and caused me to have no sense of direction in life.

    It was this forum and you members that I learned about Steven Hassan's book on cult mind control, and Marlene Winell's work on religious trauma syndrome that made it all make sense again. I came to understand what I was going thru and how to combat it. You all were my therapist. Your collective experiences and wisdom you've shared here not only lead me down the rabbit hole but helped be back up onto my feet on the other side.

    With a grateful heart I say again Thank you! If you ever wonder if your efforts are making a difference know that they are. Whether they ever post here or not you are helping people wake up and take back their lives.

    Silent knight

  • Silent Knight
    Silent Knight

    I forgot to add that if anyone would like to know more details about me please feel free to PM me.

  • Iown Mylife
    Iown Mylife

    Hello, Silent k - i enjoyed reading about your experiences and can surely relate to a lot of it.

    Also very glad to hear that you were helped by this forum, because this is my favorite forum of all the web - I've been helped in many ways here and my life has improved a great deal.

    I still have a lot of anger from things that happened to us in the org. But now there are many days when it all never crosses my mind!

  • ToesUp

    Welcome to your freedom! This site has helped me tremendously as well. Everyone's contribution, even if minor, can help someone along the way.

    Hope your fade will be a successful one and everyone JW will let you begin your new journey.

    My spouse and I have been out for several years. We are MUCH happier. No JW will ever believe that but it is true!

  • Finkelstein

    Welcome to the forum Silent knight and congratulations on removing yourself from the mental controlling corrupt cult known as the JWS/WTS.

  • just fine
    just fine

    Welcome! I look forward to hearing more about your experiences. I was born in and spent until my early 20's trying to make myself believe it. It's not easy to untangle your mind from this cult, but life is so much better now.

  • Unstuck

    Welcome silent knight to us "mentally diseased" lot - you know, I've never been prouder to wear the apostate label! Like you, I'm inactive, but I know the local cong is watching me and my hubby. I think they know the name he comments under - and I say: BRING IT ON!! I'm not afraid anymore and I have nothing to be ashamed of. Having said that, I will be cautious because I don't want to validate the JW opinion of apostates.

    I join my sentiments to yours - the unconditional support and love that I have received from this forum has been tremendously helpful and I find that I want to give back and help in anyway I can - while I'm still working through the crap myself.

    Anyway, silent knight (love your name by the way!), welcome and I look forward to getting to know you over the forum waves and reading about your thoughts and how you are going. Love to you and your wife (how is she by the way??)


  • LevelThePlayingField

    Silent Knight, be careful about someone PM'ing you for more info, it could be the very elders who want to find out who you are, so be careful.

  • zeb

    LTPF: I agree with your warning. There are fanatics in every calling.

    SK; Please seek a counsellor one who is experienced in cults. Perhaps seek a referral from your doctor?

    This is a big one you need some support. I feel for you as your wife seeks her social 'intercourse' among the other fluttering butterflies of the kh. Please don't get into arguments with her you cant win. back off do your hobby stuff (don't have one? start one) and remind her when you put the housekeeping money on the table of your love and loyalty to the family is there in every dollar.

    Do you have the second car the one she uses for pioneering? Consider this; sell it. No big rows arguments of what you intend to do all this is playing into the mindset of the wt wife who is hell bent on following the party-line to the denial of any other obligation. Just sell it.! Let others carry the cost you most likely cant afford petrol, insurance and maintenance. and of course if it is old then there will come the cry soon that it needs to be updated as this will come from the association with other wealthier sisters. I have been appalled in recent years by my own wifes petulant complaints about the house the car (one) etc. She overlooks that they both are paid for and well maintained.

  • Saethydd

    Welcome, I hope your fade goes well for you.

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