My Introduction - An ex-elder's story of waking up later in life.

by doubtfull1799 65 Replies latest jw experiences

  • exjwlemming

    I would be thrilled to read your manifesto. Hope you post it. It would encourage many more lurking on this forum.

    Thanks for your post.

  • MarkofCane

    Hello and welcome

    It will be a tough go at first but things will get easier. Work on getting your family out if you DA or get DF,ed makes it extremely difficult. Their imaginary power evaporated the minute you figure it all out, they suddenly appear as simple men, victims themselves of the con. You have friends here! Manifesto....... Cant wait.

  • Ding


    I'm always interested in hearing stories of what it is that gets rock solid JWs such as long time pioneers and elders to have the courage to investigate the organization's claims instead of simply swallowing whatever the GB feeds them as good JWs are supposed to do.

    What led you to read "old light" like The Finished Mystery in the first place?

    Did you expect to find great spiritual food there or were you already suspicious that something might be seriously wrong in the WT "paradise"?

  • Perry

    Thanks for sharing your story. Don't get despondent about the"lost years". There are plenty of success stories here of people who are catching up.

    Just keep moving.

  • HappyGal

    Welcome doubtfull1799!

    Thank you for sharing your story. I agree with many of the other posters that you shouldn't disassociate as you have family still in. Better to fade. There are experiences of other people on this site who has helped their spouse get out by being very patient over time.

    I can relate to alot of what you wrote and for a long time was angry at all the 'wasted years' I spent as a JW. I was in for 23 years. Still that is better than 23 years and one day. The time I have left is my own.

    You are a good writer and I hope you share your manifesto here.

    There are alot of resources now (like the books mentioned by other posters and youtube sites) which are very helpful.

  • Cadellin

    Welcome! One of the best things about this site is realizing that you are not alone, nor are you delusional (both of which I felt when I first woke up). You are seeing the WT for what it really is.

    It's hard--but worth it!

  • eyeuse2badub

    Welcome doubtfull 1799

    My experience in jw land is very similar to your's. I was in my mid 60's before I finally 'had enough and walked away'. Baptized at 12, pioneered for years, 18 months in prison for draft evasion during the Viet Nam war. Decades as an elder, you know the story.

    When I finally realized that I had been duped for basically my whole life, it put me into a very dangerous downward spiral both mentally and emotionally. I checked myself into a mental health facility because I was also very suicidal. It took a bit of time, but I recovered and am happier now that ever because I'm no longer a captive of a contrived concept.

    One cannot recover those lost years or even decades (damn), but we only live in one direction and making the most of what lies ahead is truly the best therapy. Hang in there and get into something that you always wanted to do. Life is to f**king short to not enjoy the things that bring you true happiness and satisfaction.

    Contrary to wt teaching, this thing that we call LIFE is to be enjoyed-not just endured!

    just saying!

  • blondie

    I would hold off from da'ing until you feel there is nothing left to lose in your family...but maybe not even then.

    I have been out for 16 years with my ex-elder husband, 45 years for me and 10 for him. I am 3rd gen and his was the only one in his family. We don't discuss things with jws we know and limit contact, to meetings, memorials, weddings, funerals, assemblies/conventions. We don't feel the need to advertise holidays, birthdays to them or start smoking publicly (us not ever), etc.

    It is a struggle when you live with active jws. But there are other things to discuss that are truly interesting and fun.

    Just keep moving forward and shower the family at home with love and consideration. Live a sermon rather than than talk one.

  • flipper

    DOUBTFUL 1799- Welcome to the forum and freedom of mind and critical thinking ability. Actually - your story is very similar to many folks on this board. And that's a good thing as you can benefit from the wealth of experience from folks here on the board who have experienced an awakening as well after being trapped inside the JW organization.

    I was born and raised in the JW's and escaped over 13 years ago at age 44 . It's a long process of re-educating ourselves psychologically, emotionally, and physically to overcome mind control we received from the WT Society- but the ability to think for ourselves clearly once again without WT pollution clouding our minds is well worth the effort. If you get a chance to read all of Steve Hassan's books on cult mind control and how it infects people's minds- those books were a great help to me in exiting the Witnesses. His website is : I highly recommend his books. It helps a person to understand HOW high control organizations like the Jehovah's Witnesses or Scientology are able to control our minds. Take care , and please remember we are here as a support to you as well ! Hang in there, peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • neverendingjourney


    I had the same bout with borderline-suicidal depression 13 years ago and now the religion is something that's mostly a distant memory for me. It gets better.

    It's also encouraging to see that smart people are still leaving the Witnesses after discovering the logical inconsistencies and flat-out lies. I was beginning to wonder whether they'd already been purged. I wonder how I would have reacted had I still been a Witness when the overlapping-generations teaching was rolled out. That might have been a step too far even for me at the peak of my involvement.

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