My Introduction - An ex-elder's story of waking up later in life.

by doubtfull1799 65 Replies latest jw experiences

  • stuckinarut2

    Welcome welcome welcome friend!

    Thank you for sharing your story. Your honesty and openness will be of help to many other "lurkers".

    I relate to your account and circumstances in many ways.

    No doubt you have had an in depth look at ? That site has all the key points of a doctrinal nature, all presented with accurate reasoning and scriptural references. Also, it has many personal stories of ones who have woken up. Many were extremely "in" the organization, and "spiritual" witnesses! (One that comes to mind is Stumpy. His account is great!)

    Please feel comfortable to share in the discussions here, knowing that it helps not only yourself, but others too. After all, doesn't the bible speak of "an interchange of encouragement"?

    PS, you mentioned "tertiary entrance score" Are you from WA by any chance?

  • zeb

    doubtful1799. My 'condolences'.

    You noticed the use of wt 'buzz-words/phrases'.


    (we) conclude


    Can anyone add to these please.

  • UnshackleTheChains

    What an amazing story doubtful1799. Welcome to the forum.

    You clearly see what so many of us see about the organisation. It's as if they make things up as they go along such as the appointment of Jesus belongings as you pointed out.

    I am in the same boat as you re fade. You are best not to allow the corporation heads (GB) the power over your life and ruin your family relationships. This religion is exactly as Angus Stewart (ARC) described - 'a captive religion' that uses a cruel shunning policy to prevent people from leaving.

    I must say though, at least the elders in your hall sound somewhat fair to you. Personally I think a lot of elder bodies are afraid to rock the boat as can cause a lot of disruption within the congregation especially if you have family attending.

    I wish you and your family all the very best


  • tor1500

    Welcome 1799,

    How brave you are to be able to come to this site to tell your story. As someone said, it helps you and others to tell your story. Many think it's I the only one that see it....Thank goodness for sites like these...

    You must have seen and experienced a lot being an elder a lot of behind the scenes stuff...I am happy you know ttatt. You are right to be sure your wife's health is more stable because depending on her love for the org. how she will receive your decision. I mentioned how much she loves the org. I think many get it confused...the bottom line does she love God more than the org.

    I hope you are not upset with yourself for the time you were an active witness and elder, do you know along the way, even if you spoke to a person and they didn't accept the doctrine, who knows you may have changed their life just a may have spoken to someone who was on drugs, or whatever, you don't know what effect you may have had on someone down the line of your may have even brought a smile to someone's face one day....don't discount your service...if you did it for the org....then I see how you feel disappointed, because you can never please man, just slip once & they hold it against you. If you still believe in God, not the God the org. portrays the God of the Bible and his son Jesus...this scripture comes to mind: 1 Cor. 4:5: Therefore, do not judge anything before the due time, until the Lord comes. He will bring the secret things of darkness to light and make known the intentions of the hearts, and then each one will receive his praise from God. I want to point out, the intentions of heart...and Heb. 4:12: For the word of God is alive and exerts power.....last verse, and is able to discern thoughts and intentions of the heart. ....

    1799, your intentions when you believed, was purely innocent, you didn't want to mislead anyone, you just wanted to show ones a different life, then the ones they lived. Some took the bait and some didn't. Know this, God knows you meant well. God is nothing like man. With God, even if we intend to do something with the right motive, and you miss the mark, he knew you had good intentions...this is proven by the book of Psalms...We know that David was a man after God's heart...we also know David was a bad boy, but God saw his if David was judged by man, even though he won all the wars and conquered many nations for man...but because he committed adultery and murder, today if man judged him we would not be reading Psalms today, If a monument was erected of David, man would have knocked it down, But because God saw Davids' heart and intentions...that's why today we are still reading Psalms....why, because God doesn't judge like man...he sees the I know I've gone on and on...I'm just saying this if you still believe in God....

    I think many put too much worship and allegiance to the org. more than God, because when the org. does something or has mislead, folks fall away from God...& how many times have we read, man cannot direct their own steps...I guess for some the org. is the Mom they never knew....the org. shows a certain type of conditional love and if you never experienced love ....conditional love is better than no love at all.

    Take care of your wife and family. Show them love and support. They won't expect that because most witness think if you leave you'll go rogue, but what they don't get is that you really learn to love if you don't love the way the org. teaches...

    Enjoy this journey....don't let the org. turn you away from God...but if you don't believe in God, that is your choice..this site welcomes all..


  • careful

    doubtfull1799, thanks for the post. I PMed you. To access this, if you don't yet know, up at the top of the page there is a little envelope by your name that turns green when you have mail. I'll wait for your response.

    So is the 1799 from the bizarre dating scheme that CT Russell considered so important?

  • ThomasCovenant

    Thanks for posting.

    Contrary to what you may think, I think your experience is very common with others on this site.

    I wouldn't bother disassociating; just stop all participation in the religion.

  • nowwhat?

    My awaking is almost identical to yours. Just fade off into the sunset. If you disassociate it might drive a wedge between you and your wife.

  • ToesUp

    Welcome! I loved your story. There really is no easy way to leave this cult. My spouse and I have not been to a meeting in almost 4 years. We wonder sometimes what is going on in the inside. This gives us so much hope that even the Elders see this for what it is. Thank you!

  • Vanderhoven7

    Great OP. Are you still a believer in God and the Bible or has that gone by the wayside as well?

  • dozy

    Thanks for sharing. Very similar to my own story and awakening. I've googled the book you mentioned & ordered it on Amazon. If you haven't already read it , "The Atheists Book of Bible Stories" by Fred Titanich is an excellent read - written by an ex-JW. It's a free PDF download - just google it.

    As others have said , I'd be cautious about DAing - at least in the early months after stopping attending. Not long after I faded , an elder came to see me & basically asked me to DA myself to "tidy up the paperwork & let the congregation know where they stand". I asked him ironically if he wanted just to type up a letter for me to sign. The WTBTS want everyone who permanently leaves to be DFd or DAd - It's a Society procedure - why play by their rules and make it easy for them?

    Especially if you have JW extended family , even if only from a logistical sense , DAing makes future life very difficult. A relative of mine DAd a few years ago ( she now regrets & wishes she had just faded ) & now all communication with her large extended JW family is done through "worldly" surrogates & it is incredibly messy at times.

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