Leverage. This is a good time to get recordings, make copies, videos. These things help you to negotiate leaving more on your terms. Many elders stay in because they want to be a voice for good in the congregation, to help vulnerable people. You could encourage people to get actual help from a therapist or counselor if they are experiencing hard times in their marriage. Giving permission is powerful. Once you actually leave, you can recognize that there is no way you can be responsible for the emotional well being of other people. Grownups in particular need to 'pray' for themselves and seek help for whatever issues they are struggling with.
I would like to be able to wake people up in my congregation,
They are happy believing what they do, otherwise they would have left a long time ago.
You only have one life to live---why waste it on trying to help people who are not asking for your help. Let them live their own life and you live your own life. If they want to wake up they will.
I was raised in the religion---born in. I left home at 18 and never looked back. I have a huge family of brothers, sisters, step-brothers, step sisters, uncles, aunts, nephews, nieces, and all of them were Jehovah's Witnesses.
For years they shun me. I never tried to wake them up because they were happy.
You have to admit that there is a certain calming effect that believing in a paradise earth has on the majority of Jws. That calming effect keeps them content with life. They have no desire for anything else. Why would you want to take that away from them?
It's been about 12 years since I left the WT organization and my family.
Now about 90 percent of my family have all woken up. And I did absolutely NOTHING TO HELP THEM WAKE UP.
They did it all on their own.
No frustration, no walking around egg shells, no wasting time trying to help people who are content and happy in the WT religion.
Instead I helped myself by going to school and starting a business. I just started a few more different businesses and I'm going to be 31 years old soon. I could actually retire now but I love the game and I love working.
And as for my family that use to shun me? Now they invite me for just about everything. Now they ask me sincere questions about the Watchtower religion and the bible. And they listen carefully to what I say.
I couldn't have done this if I had wasted my time staying in the Organization so as to please my family, and wasted my time trying to help them wake up.
If you have a wife and kids then do what you have to do. But don't waste your life trying to help the rest of the congregation wake up.
Cool your heals for a few months more.
It is not the "great tribulation", but it is close to it. If you are watching the news then you will see the name, Irwin Zalkin attached to the Boy Scout settlement. That is a big case. The Jehovah Witnesses are next.
If you were to track the molestation issue, there are three names to take note of; Anderson, Zalkin, Bundy. You factor in Calif., N. Y., N. J. and other states that in 2019 passed legislation removing statute of limitations on old molestation cases. We are almost out of the covid era, allow the Boy Scout issue to some what settle. Had you paid close attention to David Splane's apostate talk and noted his reference to negative media and unjust court decisions, you are living in the "very last days of the very last day" of Taliban mind control.
The people have been locked out of their Hall's for almost two years. To watch those Hall's being sold at a greater rate, will be devastating.
We are approaching the 20th anniversary of the Anderson / Bowen "Dateline" story. That was the "hand writing on the wall"!
You all make some fantastic points. Thanks for the advice.
On the point of “why” I want to wake people up…pistolpete you make a good point, the paradise has a calming effect on people, they will wake up when they want. Maybe I need to just focus on myself more, and what will be will be.
There is also an element of staying an elder, then when something scandalous happens (ie: child abuse coverup hits the fan) quit in a blaze of glory, but I think I might just be kidding myself. You can forever put off leaving, waiting for the precise moment. I don’t know.
Lots to think about
Rezza (thanks punkofnice)
I have to say that when I was a Jobo, I'd got into that mindset of urgency with putting people on the right path. You know, that 'preaching' psychosis. I wonder if that's still a factor. The WBT$ is all about urgency; after all, time is money. The GB need their money to protect their like minded paedos.
As far as getting other Jobos to wake up, it's a vain wish. I have to be realistic not idealistic here.
The Jobos generally won't veer from the WBT$ despite anyone's best evidence against the company that poses as religion. It's like trying to get people in North Korea to spit at Kim Jong Un.
Hard spot. Giving talks on a lie would be the hardest. I simply was a no show for the old #5 when it was about 1914 right after the new light.
I am a nobody and am not even asked to help with snow shoveling or chsnge a flat for a widow. Things I could do as a humanitarian.
Welcome to the forum and the wealth of information you can source here!
I have not posted here for a while but your thread moved me to log in and respond.
Are you married and do you have children?
I was in a similar position 12 years ago but couldn’t bring myself to leave without trying to get through to my family and friends – after all, if the roles were reversed, that is what I would have wanted them to do with me if they knew something I didn’t . How can I just walk away and leave them all behind I thought, so this motivated me to kind of subtly preach to them for more than 5 years, from the inside and whilst serving – see my post below at the time
Having read various experiences on this very forum, perhaps I was one of the luckier ones to have things work out as they did with my family and some of my friends, whilst I couldn’t get through to other friends despite the many frank and honest conversations that were had over many years
You are lucky that you are light years ahead of many others in the org who just cannot see what you are seeing!
It is my honest belief that to have any chance of helping anyone on the inside, you need to be the last to leave…you can do a lot of good from within and leave when you are ready – on your own terms!
I loved having the 1914 generation teaching discussion with many – it was on our awake master head for many years with the wording …“ this magazine builds confidence in the Creator's promise of a peaceful and secure new world before the generation that saw the events of 1914 passes away." So I would reason that the creator didn’t change his mind but we were running ahead in our eagerness for the end and our interpretation was wrong… – but in the big picture this little detail or even IF the whole 1914 is accurate (as we believed in 1874/1878 before see Proclaimers book, Page 632) doesn’t really matter to me as I am not serving God with a date in mind etc (to keep the conversation positive but it open’s the conversation up and gets them thinking)
I wish I had somebody like you in my cong to have gotten me thinking earlier than I did – someone who fostered open non-judgemental dialogue- so I will look forward to reading more about the experiences you have on this journey!
I would imagine there are a ton of JW elders reading this thread who are currently experiencing the same struggles & can relate to your predicament Reservations. The following advice from truth_b_known will benefit y'all:
- Step down as an elder.
- Stop giving any talks.
- Stop commenting at the meetings.
- Report the minimum amount of time possible.
- Live your life as you want without getting disfellowshipped or reproved.
- Be happy.
- Be happy.
- Be happy.
I quite serving in February. I was consciously looking for a door; a door to get me out of serving and preserve my dignity and honor.
The BoE gave it to me one day and rather than "be yielding" I chose that as my hill to die on and turned in a resignation letter. They called me and asked me not to quit, but did not apologize for the affront or their handling of the matter. I told em to pound sand.
I was also an elder when I learned the truth about The Truth. It was hell. I did not feel I could immediately stand down, I had to lay the groundwork, but I did a few months later. My conscience would not let me continue.
Since then I have not been out in F/S , or answered up, nothing. The elders have let me be.
Of course at first I wanted to help my friends also see the light, but I realised that was not possible without ending up d/fd . I had long discussions with my wife but that’s all. Like the rest of them, they are unmoved by the facts. I now conclude that it is harder to convince a believing JW of the falsehood of their way than it is to convince a worldly person to accept JW beliefs.
Now I respect their right to believe it if they want , they can see all that I can see.