Not one visit, 8 years in a nursing home, and not one visit!

by Raymudas Martini 40 Replies latest jw friends

  • Calebs Airplane
  • Heaven

    My Mom became very ill in the 1990s. She developed COPD - Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease. This is a chronic, ie never gets better, and progressive, ie gets worse over time until you die from it, disease.

    My Dad had to look after her. She had this disease for 11 years. Dad had been pio-sneering and worked something like 60 hours a week for them (he was retired from his job at this point) but had to stop because he suddenly had to take on a lot of extra duties since Mom was no longer able to look after the household.

    All the elders did from this religion is hound my Dad to do the Field Serve-Us. No one came to help him from his congregation.

    This religion shoots its wounded. It is a religion of mandatory performance. They want and need able-bodied, able-minded people only, and yet what they ultimately produce are disable minded, disable bodied people. My Mom is a prime example. I watched this religion suck her personality and individuality slowly from her, much like the Dementors from Harry Potter. It was heartbreaking to watch/experience.

  • ToesUp

    Like the Elders told my spouse..."we really would like to USE you." Yeah...USE you! WT is an all take, no give organization.

  • ToesUp

    "For instance they will have a pot luck lunch afterward, and have arranged social activities. They will have organised meet ups. Although I do believe church is primarily learning about God, I believe Wt has got a lot to learn."

    Watchtower warns of large gatherings where ones may get involved in "serious sin."

    When I was a kid (many years, whenever there was an event that the kids were enjoying, there was always one or more elders or maybe even the CO that ruined it for everyone. All the kids were doing was having a good time and someone always came along and "pissed on the parade." This always ticked my Elder Dad off and eventually there were NO gatherings anymore so a lot of the kids went out and found other things to do. Like get in trouble.

    My spouse and I always had events at our home. We felt that our kids needed the association. What a nightmare. There was always something. One sister bitched that she wasn't invited (not true). Two sisters got into an argument that one was "apparently" drinking too much. One sister mentioned to me that she noticed I had a particular movie in my DVD collection that was rated R (not true...rated PG & I let her know that). We also let someone borrow one of our vehicles and they went through our music collection and pointed out some "questionable" music. You just can't win with these people, there is always SOMETHING. Freedom has been a breath of fresh air. And WT wonders why people are leaving.

  • Giordano

    How hard would it be for the Society to tell each congregation not to forget their elderly, the sick and the poor members of the congregation? Not hard at letter to the Elder's........ one simple WT article. During the CO visit a brief discussion about who needs a cheery visit. Allowing members to count time enjoying a cup of tea and a visit.

    Certainly showing respect and consideration towards those in need would be a Christian thing to do.

    When the WTBT$ named themselves Jehovah's Witnesses instead of Christian Witnesses they undermined the viability of the ministry of Jesus, who we were supposed to be a witness for, in favor of the Old Testament god Jehovah. The god of the flood, the god of slavery, the god of harsh rules and the god of genocide.

    The cruelty is built into the fabric of the JW''s really a death cult and blood guilty. Lets face it............ if your denying a life saving blood transfusion (the only religion that will shun you trying to save your child or mate) you are causing followers to die well before their time....that's blood quilt.

    I'll end on a good note and one that will show least they aren't taking an in-firmed older brother or sister and stranding them in the desert or on a mountain top and allowing nature to finish them off.

  • WingCommander

    I'll never forget the day.....probably the summer of 2002. My JW grandmother was 84 yrs old, had severe arthritis, and was living with my mom and I. So some other elderly Pioneer types were making their round thru our rural neighbourhood. My grandma saw them coming up the walk, so she opened her bedroom window to greet them. I was in the room, but the Pioneers didn't see me. (I didn't give a crap about talking to them) So anyway, after exchanging some pleasantries, they Pioneers ask my frail, elderly Grandmother when can she return to field service? I was floored. She already participated in the "writing campaign" with her arthritic hands, and yet these old biddies had the galls to ask her when she'd be "out" again? They couldn't be bothered to see if she needed any physical or spiritual help, but were only concerned with her door-knocking hours. My mother and I were PISSED! What a bunch of poseurs and USERS. It's all "take" and no "give." My grandmother passed away not even a year later.

  • flipper

    RAYMUDAS- My deepest condolences to you on the loss of your dear father and what this criminal cult did to him. The picture at the top of page 4 that Calebs Airplane posted ( thanks for posting Caleb ) is a VERY accurate picture of what I saw the last almost 3 years of my mom's life visiting her in care facilities. The despair and hopelessness on these older folks faces is absolutely heartbreaking. Like my mom experienced- these people know they are trapped, will never be allowed to go home ( like my mom used to tell me she felt she was in " jail " like she was being punished. She always wanted to move back to her home. )

    Suffering under these conditions not being at their own home what many of these older folks need is somebody to at LEAST visit, to show them that they matter to somebody. We all need love - and especially do older ones when they've been " warehoused " into a living condition that they did not want to be in. I feel like my mom would have done better if she had in-home care come to her where she could have still lived at her own house- but that decision was taken away from her by older JW males in my family. I tried the best I could to influence them to let her get help at home- but my dad would not allow " worldly " people to stay with them at their house as my older sister said, " the worldly medical staff will steal from mom and dad. " All I could do was shake my head in wonderment. And to this day it frustrates me that my recommendations were ignored by my JW family.

    So everybody here- when you see or know an older person- take the time to get to know them. Sincerely show them attention because they are already feeling like they don't matter anymore- like an old banjo that's been put into the corner- unused. And mind control cults like Jehovah's Witnesses don't do anything to make older folks feel needed. I miss my mom everyday since she died - at least she can rest knowing that some of her family tried to respect and help her

  • LevelThePlayingField

    flipper, they were worried that the worldy medical staff would steal from mom and dad? That's a crazy idea. So where is the trust? I can see why you were frustrated to say the least. That would have made me very angry.

  • blondie

    I was sharing this experience recently with my husband:

    There was a sister whose husband was not a jw and not interested but he let her go her own way.

    She faithfully came to all the meetings and out in service but the elders and others did not take time to get to know her despite her 30 years there.

    She stopped attending the meetings and no one knew why or bothered to call or even stop by unannounced until 6 weeks had gone by.

    Finally 2 elders decided they should drop by. The husband answered the door, "I wondered if you would bother to drop by."

    Elders: We came by to see if we could encourage to come back to the meetings.

    Husband: I don't think that is probable, she died 6 weeks ago and has been buried these last 5 weeks.

    Elders: Oh, we didn't know.....

    Husband: You didn't read the obituary?

    Elders: We are too busy to read the obituaries....

    The elder who told me was the one who said he was too busy and never read the obituaries as if the excused his and the others from not noticing.

    Elders: Perhaps we could share some scriptures with you for encouragement.

    Husband: Perhaps you could leave right now and take your false concern and put it where the sun doesn't shine.

    Of course the elder's point was they were too busy to notice the appearance of the flock.

  • flipper

    LEVELTHEPLAYINGFIELD- Yeah, exactly it was a really weird discussion when we had this " family discussion " about where my mom would live. I actually laughed out loud at my JW sister when she said " the medical staff is worldly and they'll steal from mom and dad if they assist mom at their home " . I said, " Come on ! Get real. These are professionally paid medical personnel representing their company. Do you think they are going to jeopardize their jobs or their companies reputation by " stealing " from our parents ? " I continued, " That's the most absurd thing I've ever heard. " My JW older relatives had no trust whatsoever of non-JW people helping my mom in her own home. Most outlandish thing I've ever heard. I was so frustrated - I could have shit a brick right there on the spot

Share this