Work Christmas functions: Being a Bible Student (unbaptized)
Its like watching a train wreck in slow-motion........
Beware. Merely having AN answer for nearly everything in one tidy package doesn't mean it is THE answer. Additionally, answers like "we need to wait on Jehovah" or that are written in publications with weasel words like "evidently" or "likely" are not answers at all.
Humans have a desire for certainty and structure. It makes us feel comfortable. Unfortunately controlling people or groups that display narcissistic traits often provide those things and suck in innocent victims. An abuser never shows their hand at first, they lure you in with charm and slowly disrobe you of your armor until you're naked with no place to go and you then need them.
Please research cult methodology such as the FOG (fear obligation guilt) and the BITE (behavior information thought emotional control) models. You're not just talking to people here that aren't knowledgeable, we've been where you are. Many of us were elders, ministerial servants, pioneers, parents that taught this to their children, etc. We've been around this block. You'd be a fool to discount what people here have to say. I hope you're not too far in to listen.
Speaking of listening, I invite you to listen to my 9 part podcadt series called "This JW Life" on iTunes or Google Play or just go to thisjwlife.com and stream them directly. You will see what you're not being told or shown now. If you're going to commit to this religion you should know what others that were in it have gone through. You wouldn't date a person and ignore their past and then marry them. You're being given chances here to listen to the realities of experiences with this organization. Ignore at your own peril.
If you're religion-shopping why choose one that takes away your freedom? No holidays, limited on medical treatment, they even tell you who you can marry. I realise you thought we were active JWs, sorry about that but please think carefully. Have you looked at JWfacts.com.? Don't be afraid of the truth. All the best.
Rulehayl:. Welcome to the discussion forum.
Try not to take offense at what is said. While you might think what is said is critical or negative, consider that many of us are attempting to help you to assess the religion with open eyes.
Most here have been JWs, some for many decades. Many have been shocked to learn that the religion is not all as it is claimed. You are relatively new to it and so in the 'romance' stage so in your experience, what is said on this forum may not seem true to you.
Since you are new, JWs will treat you very kindly and will 'love bomb' you as you are a potential convert. Some here have already implied that that treatment is temporary as experience has proven that treatment will quickly stop once you are baptised and are considered a full member who no longer needs to be convinced or seduced.
Some rules and practices mentioned here, you may not yet be aware of. Your study conductor will typically treat the 'study' (you) as a baby, feeding information you can easily digest, for fear you would choke if she/he should give you too much, too fast. Some practices such as disfellowshipping, often are never fully explained but a new JW associate will be expected to catch-on when a congregation member is announced as no longer a Jehovah's Witness.
As you are studying, you can research and ask all the questions you want with no reprecussions. Once you are baptised, those actions will not be tolerated within the congregation. Suggest researching and having your questions answered now before proceeding too far.
While you should discuss questions and concerns with your study conductor, you can verify on this forum and others, if the answers you receive are entirely transparent and truthful. If you are interested, many here can assist with questions to ask or subjects to discuss.
Remember, it is better to have unanswered questions than answers you can't question.
Although we are strangers, most participants on this forum only want what is best for you, for you to be happy and not make a mistake you may regret for the rest of your life. If after learning what you should know while studying and you still decide to become a JW, you will at least have open eyes and better understanding than most new converts.
Rulehayl, if we had a pound for every time we heard that line trotted out " because they had an answers or won all the arguments" that sadly is a terrible reason for investing you time/money/energy and life into a dangerous high control group, but followers of these kinds of groups do have the answers it seems because the people joining them are not asking the right questions and are completely ignorant about their past and current doctrines and history which is so vital, you need to investigate them further and you will rightly find they dont have the answers thats why you have been pointed to jwfacts.com which is an excellent resource in counteracting their claims but we clearly know the people studying those books with you would have warned you to steer well clear of anything that isnt endorsed by them, dont you see a warning sign? finally its really sad you decided to be excluded from your works Xmas celebrations and your brothers birthday, they force martyrdom,isolation and love bomb all the while you are doing it but in the coming years when you maybe decide it isnt for you look at the response you'll get from them, you will be cut off, you wont even exist in their eyes, you only get one brother and you only get one time a year to enjoy some letting down your hair with your co-workers, this lot have been destroying these kind of events for over a 100 years and look where its got them.
I always ask my Study Conductor EVERYTHING. There is no question I haven't brought to her, and she's always happy to explain. Of course her explaination will relate back to Watchtower Doctrine or Scripture. She is a representative and spokesperson for the organisation - Why should I expect her to say anything different? I have read JWFacts and whatever other websites - I will admit I have been shaken a tad by it, but then realise, at the end of the day - most people who are Disfellowshipped have themselves to blame. I worked with a guy who got baptized just because he wanted to date a girl within the congregation. He knew it wasn't the right thing to do, felt guilty about it, then disassociated himself. This was 20 years ago and he hasn't been back since. On the other hand he doesn't try to stop me from joining either. He does stress that it will be a hard slog, so I had better be ready for it. Of course. I'm not stupid - but many of you ex-JWs seem to think that us newbies are.
You say JWs fall within the "BITE" model of cults. So organisations/institutions who job it is to mould people into good citizens/people should just let people do whatever the hell they want? School, home, work would all fit that model, as they impose rules that benefit both the person and the people around them within that organisation. If you break a rule at school - where do you go? Of course detention, at the very most - expulsion. And who does the student blame? Of course the school for being "too strict" - give me a break. Just follow the rules - it is that difficult?
Basically, in my opinion, all you apostates are just jaded you couldn't do whatever the hell you wanted - so you wanted out. Honestly, good riddance - and good riddance to this website too.
finally its really sad you decided to be excluded from your works Xmas celebrations and your brothers birthday
It was my brother's birthday today. I went late - after all the festivities were over. I didn't say happy birthday to him. He didn't care just as long as I was there. My conscience is clear. Missing buying crappy gifts for colleagues for Kris Kringle? Wow. Missing that obligation so much. One time a year for letting hair down with collegues? Um no. Wrong. We have many team functions throughout the year - not just for birthdays & Christmas. Christmas is not the be-all & end-all you know. There are 364 other days in the year to celebrate & socialize.
Crack on then..... 🤗
I was summoned to a judicial committee for the crime of vocalising my disagreements with what was at the time jw current doctrine, I didn't have a desire to want to lead an immoral lifestyle, start a new group or any other such reasons I just had a crisis of conscience moment, yet was summoned to two weekends of intense questioning about why I was making these statements, I was found guilty of this so called crime but I was repentant in regards to the fact I may had offended jeehovah by questioning the faithful slave and had stumbled others weak in their faith LOL ( I was reinstated on appeal but that is another story because of the dishonesty of the witness statements taken by two fellow elders during the witch hunt ) all because I couldn't support the "generation that saw 1914 as being the time that would see the creators promises of a new earth by the end of the 20th century"(this was in 1992, what year is it now?)amongst others were perhaps we were not living in the time of the end, 1935 was not a valid date of the sealing of the heavenly class etc etc , yet I was found guilty of apostasy yet now the WTS have dropped these kinds of doctrines as being "old light" so I ask you who really is the apostate? Duet 18,20-22.
rulehayl You seemed to have judged every single person on this forum without knowing anything about them.
You will make a great J.W.