Just what constitutes a "good seat" at an assembly?

by xjw_b12 40 Replies latest social humour

  • xjw_b12

    Blondies post on an earlier thread re the gate crashers at the assemblies running to "save" the best seats got me to thinking…..

    Just what constitutes a "good seat" at an assembly? I've never quite understood that.

    Is it a seat close to the front, where you can watch the nervous brothers and sisters with their knees knocking, while they play out their scenes?

    Close enough to watch the bad actors in the drama, so you can see their lip syncing, like a very bad Karoke bar?

    Close enough to tell if the brother with 115 years of Bethel Service is actually wearing Attends?

    Could it be an aisle seat, where you can exit gracefully to the washroom, to relieve yourself of the 4 beers you had with lunch at the Bistro down the street?

    Conversely it could be a seat in the middle of the row, so you’re not constantly being bothered by the brother who had 4 beers with his lunch at the Bistro down the street.

    Perhaps it is a seat in a row, that actually had a little more leg room than the others adjacent, only to be foiled by the couple in front, who come and put their cooler and baby blankets under the seats?

    Is it a seat, that has a higher back on it, that if you actually slouch down in it, you can catch a few winks without anybody noticing, until you start snoring, or do the head bob?

    Maybe it’s a seat where you can watch other activity, rather than what’s happening on the stage? Say a view out to the mall, where the smart people are, or a view of the turnstile entrance to the women’s washroom.

    Do you look for a seat, that isn’t going to make your ass sweat so bad, that the seat actually attaches it self to your bum when you stand up to sing the song, and to add insult to injury, you have to reach back and pull the boxers, out of the crack of your ass?

    How about one of those seats, that allows you to sneak out one of those "silent but deadly" farts, and in true Mr. Bean style nudge your wife and mumble something about the baby in front, while you crinkle up your nose?

    Probably, it’s a seat that is closest to the exit.

    What do you think constitutes a "good seat" at the assembly?

  • Thirdson

    The good seats are the corporate boxes out of the rain or the cold or the oppressive heat where attendants wait on you. My parents now get to sit there based on their age (my dad is 73) and their "service" (45 years) having been baptized in the 1950's. In those seats you chat all day, drink and eat and enjoy all the comforts of corporate hospitality. It took my folks a long time to get their places while others with "connections" but a lot less "time in" got to sit in luxury. It's a small perk for ones so wrapped up in this religion.


  • Jourles

    This was a "local needs" talk just before every DC in San Diego in my old halls. The gates would normally open up at 7am sharp. Prior to that, attendants, security, food service people, or ones who generally needed to be there to get things ready would already have access to the seats before the mad rush. Sure as hell, as soon as the gates opened up, the brothers and sisters would be doing either a fast trot or a brisk jog to the Plaza level. But what really confused the crap out of me was this - It was always mentioned from the stage and maybe even the pubs, that no seats were to be taken until the gates opened. But guess what? As soon as you got to the "good seats," they were already taken, almost all of them. And mind you, there was no one around placing their books and mags on the seats at 7:01am. WTF?!? That's right. Security and everyone else already saved the best seats in the house prior to 7am.

    In San Diego, the primo seats are located on the Plaza level, directly in front of the stage, under the concrete overhang. This overhang shields you from the sun during the day. Plus, you don't have to bring an umbrella and you can still see the stage without having a tarp or umbrella blocking your view. Elderly folks are lucky in that they get like the top 3 or 4 rows from the rear on this level.

    One year, I was lucky enough to get two seats in this section, in the shade. I went to do my food service duty and upon coming back to my seat just before the program started, some sister and her little kids were sitting in my seats I had roped off for a friend and myself. Our books were in the aisle about 4 or 5 rows down. That pissed me off so bad I wanted to kick her ass right there and then. We ended up sitting in the sun without an umbrella.

    Anyone else that went to the SD conventions knows exactly what I am talking about.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    best seats - the deaf section - usually out of the sun and always guaranteed a seat as an interpreter

  • run dont walk
    run dont walk

    were we suppose to sit down at assemblies, I always thought the seats were for setting our books on so we didn't have to carry them around.

  • Matty

    It's sods law that if you get a good seat next to an aisle for a swift exit without disturbing anyone in the row, you will not once want to go to the toilet mid session, but if you end up sitting right in the middle of a row you will want to get up to pee during the first talk!

  • berylblue

    Good seats are across the street at the bar.

  • maxwell

    I suppose the "good seats" varies for different people. I personally preferred to sit up as high as possible. But there were certain seats that always filled up first. The coliseums where DC I went to were held usually had the floor seats, bleachers and lower level risers, and then the upper level. Sone coliseums had one other higher level. Usually when I went in at 7 or 8 AM when the doors opened the lowest row of the upper level seats would always fill immediately. Some of these rows would be immediately above entrances from the concourse, and they always had a little more leg room. Then any seats on the lower level that were not reserved for elderly or handicapped would fill up. The aisle seats tended to fill up more quickly than seats in the middle of the row.

  • Maverick

    There are three kinds of seats, A, B, C. A seats are very narrow, B, are a little wider and C's are for the big butts! If you look under the seat you will see a letter stamped in the metal. The new plastic seats do not have this mark. Even though I am not a "big" guy I would look for the C seats for more room. But the best seats were the ones in my car. I was a Attendant and got covered parking near the entrance and would slip out to the car when ever things got too stupid. Maverick

  • blondie

    Aisle seats are not always good when a family with four children are sitting in the middle and drinking water during the sesssion. All four kids never have to go to the restroom at the same time so you are constantly getting up and down to let them by. We finally traded them the aisle seats for the ones in the middle.

    The best seats are the ones with leg room, preferably with no on sitting in front of you, along the rail. There is usually a concrete lip in front that you can put your stuff on.

    In the last 25 years I attended the DC in a enclosed facility. No more the days of frying or getting drenched.

    Thank goodness for the disabled and elderly sections.

    But more importantly, I no longer go so need not wrestle the loving r&f for a "good" seat.


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