Time to Spill my Guts

by Hadriel 52 Replies latest jw experiences

  • JWdaughter

    I lived in doha. Professionals can get great salaries and private schools for kids that are filled with expat kids who are well travelled and have big goals and potential as well as often good connections. They will be going to school with children of ambassadors, princes, high level executives and children who never question that they will go to college and who expect success.

    The diversity and the fact that they are mostly somewhat transitory means they are pretty efficient about breaking barriers and making friends. Any country with a fairly tight expat community has this. I loved Qatar but the same is true of Egypt, Dubai(kind of wild, though) European countries and other places. I had a friend who grew up I Saudi and loved it, but that would be maybe a bit adventurous for you all. International schools look great on college apps.

  • Hadriel


    I've been given job offers in Dubai many times. Really cool place actually. Totally agree there.

  • Anders Andersen
    Anders Andersen

    Thanks for your post, and welcome to the bright side!

    Wish I had been as smart and lucky as you are with regards to the wife, you did that in very excellent way. Making here research to prove you wrong

    As for your kids, here are some thoughts:

    • Parenting is leading by example. Think of your actions now as one of the most important lessons you'll ever teach your kids. A lesson that might heavily influence their view of you (no pressure here). The way I read your post, you'll want them to be honest more than being able to fake something? Show them you are honest.
    • Unless you'll tell them it's ok to make nonJW friends, they probably won't, and in the mean time their dependence on JW friends grows.
    • If you do tell the kids it's ok to make JW friends, they'll wonder why?
    • Depending on their age, they can probably handle the real truth. At least they deserve it just as much as you think they deseved the fake truth. No need to pressure them either way, but maybe at least let them know some things?

    Kids that move, survive the shock of having to make new friends. So whether you physically move, or ideologically move, your kids will survive that.

    Giving them the opportunity to choose, and weigh in on the family decision will probably help a lot in them not resenting you and your wife (this is not only on you ;-) )

    FYI my kid is not even 1 yet so I am not hindered by any real experience with teenagers ;-)

    Good luck.

    Your family (including your teenagers) is already in a better place than it was before.

    You have bestowed upon them the gift of real, free thinking for themselves instead of blindly following any good or bad meaning person with a seemingly good story (like WTBS, husband/dad, Nigerian email scammer, Fox news, etc).

    Ps. I agree with person posting about the "Goat herders guide to the galaxy".

    Once you know WTBS (there is BS in that abbreviation for a reason) is dishonest in everything they write, you might want to investigate the real evidence with regards to human existence starting with Adams creation in 4026BCE, the flood, and evolution. It says a lot about both JW and the Bible. It also says a lot about God.

  • Anders Andersen
    Anders Andersen

    I now see I apparently missed a page of posts.

    You seem to do just fine ;-)

    Keep it up!

  • OneGenTwoGroups

    I would encourage you to pursue activism, since you have a desire and circumstance for it. The professionalism you could bring to it could do much help. There can never be too much quality activism against the bOrg. Personally, I'm working with another xJW on a podcast that should go live this month.

  • Hadriel


    Nicely done with the "BS" I love it.


    Yeah I'd actually like to do a webcast I already have a studio to do it. I've done them before for things. I can't get into what exactly as it would be a dead give away. but PM if you want to talk more about that.

  • Anders Andersen
    Anders Andersen


    It would be very nice if exposing JW would be done on a more professional level than a most of it currently is done.

    A lot of incoherent rants out there that look like they are created by people that lost their minds a bit. To me that was always a sign these apostates really were insane.

    Now I know most of them are right, but their presentation sucks. And that's tough going up against JW.orgs slick videos (although they have some incoherent rants by insane looking GB members themselves)

    Keep us updated on your activities please?

  • Hadriel


    I agree wholeheartedly and aim to do my part. It will take time as I can't expose my identity initially. But that is exactly what I want to accomplish.

    Matter of fact here's the deal, why its so dangerous, here's how you can leave, improve your life and be happy.

    No attacking or hate. Helping someone to learn what really is the "truth" about the truth organically is about as powerful as it gets in my opinion.

    I will do what I can. I take it very seriously and only want to assist others. There's simply no other motivation.

  • Beth Sarim
    Beth Sarim

    Helping someone out of the Borg, is to go at it as dogmatically as possible. Ranting and making a tirade over it is hardly the way to do it.

    Having a cup of coffee at a Starbucks and showing them scriptures which negates JW theology is the most positive way. More effective than making a scene and making them feel like $hit is never the way!!

    A diplomatic, peaceful way would be much more productive. For both individuals.

  • dubstepped

    I read your post yesterday, even sent a link to my wife to read it on her phone. We both got out together and disassociated in September of 2015. Our process had gone on for years, but there was a point in early 2015 where we really saw the lies for what they were and it was shocking. It took very little time after that point to take a formal stand against them and get out. So we love seeing stories where other married couples get out together. It just makes us both smile.

    I can only imagine what it is like now to deal with this situation with your kids. I'm so sorry you got taken for a ride by the dubs and that your kids got dragged along too. We don't have kids, so I can't really comment much, but we both really feel for you.

    You are on a journey that will take you to unexpected places. You don't have to settle on any one thing right now. Give yourselves time to process things. We both vacillate between believe in God and non-belief, from belief in the Bible to non-belief, and to everything in between. You will have things jump up in your mind and hit you that you didn't see coming as it processes things. We both still have lots of dreams about meetings and such even though we haven't been to one since the summer of 2014. Of course, we also have dreams about family that we haven't seen in six months to a year, and who we will likely never see again. It is a roller coaster for sure.

    With that said, the freedom from cognitive dissonance and the resultant depression and such that the organization brought to our lives is so refreshing. My wife and I have had more fun and enjoyed each day and other human beings more in the past few months than in our previous 35-38 years on this planet. We are all brothers and sisters, no reason to separate everyone, and it's funny because we did lose mothers and fathers and brothers and sisters for the sake of the good news (so to speak) and we've gained them tenfold after leaving the Borg.

    So welcome to your new life. The pain is temporary and the freedom much more lasting. Be gentle on yourselves and your kids. Take things as slow or as fast as you need to. Remember that everyone moves on at their own pace, just like any type of grieving process. I'm glad to have you here on this site but more importantly to have you freed from the chokehold of the organization. Breathe and be happy. Try not to let yourself be consumed with anti-JW sentiment like you were pro-JW for all of those years. Find the life that has nothing to do with them. Maybe you and your wife never forget it, but maybe your kids can some day.

    Take care,


Share this