Time to Spill my Guts

by Hadriel 52 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Beth Sarim
    Beth Sarim

    Welcome Hadriel!!!

    This is the effect that high control groups have on people. That feeling of being ''hemmed-in'', cornered or having wet clothes on. But now you can see it for what it all is. God Bless.

  • lrkr


    I agree with others, follow the facts. Let your mind open as you question things and seek answers. It's a mind blowing journey!

    Re the scripture in Revelation- they don't actually believe it- that's how they sleep!

    Help your family to seek out friends, social contacts and traditions away from the KH. It will smooth the transition.

    Also, stay under the radar as long as you can. Once their defenses go up, it causes stress and turmoil.

    Happy travels!

  • mrsObfuscate

    Hadriel, thank you for spilling your guts! It is always interesting to learn of others journey's.

    Our family made a move out of our home town just under a year ago. I can highly recommend it. My children are smaller than yours, and it was difficult for them at first, but they have new friends now and I have to say that there is a great sense of relief in having friends outside of the organization. There are many kind and genuine people in this world and it is a wonderful feeling to not have to be tiptoeing around "treading on eggshells" as it were trying to constantly make a good impression to JW's. "Worldly people" take you for who you are and that in itself is an enormous relief.

    Having some distance between us and former friends and our family made our exit that much easier.

    Are your kids still at school? I agree that being involved in school, sports, music or whatever tickles your kids fancy are great ways to widen the scope and help them to make new friends.

  • neverendingjourney

    If you haven't already, read this thread by new boy:


    It's in line with various accounts of bethel life I've heard over the years. It might help you rethink the notion that the GB are good people who are just as much the victims as the rank and file.

    Oh they might buy into it lock stock and barrel but it doesn't mean they aren't terrible people. The higher up you get, the bigger a-holes you tend to encounter.

  • The Searcher
    The Searcher

    A very big WELCOME to you Hadriel

    Slow & easy - things will gradually take proper shape in your life now, as you grow in your "fade."

    Tell no one anything which the elders can use against you. Silence is golden!

    All the best for you and your family.

  • FayeDunaway

    Hadriel I just want to say I find you really likable and intelligent and I love that you want to help others and even have the resources to do that.

    People like you are very good news for people stuck in the org.

    I would just say, for your kids, be sure to encourage them to join clubs or sports that will help them make new friends. Once they have new friends they will be able to move on. All that advice about avoiding extracurricular activities was really great for preventing witness kids from making friends, and they know it.

  • Hadriel

    I appreciate that. Although I would argue on the intelligence front. If I was smart I would have figured this all out a lot sooner. Feeling pretty duped these days ha ha.


    I hear ya on that front. I'm pretty careful and only mention things that are factual and cannot be portrayed as anything other than "boy this seems odd don't you think?"

    I can be active in assisting others without being "found out" rather easily. Truth be told the digital world is my world not their's. meaning they won't find out anything I don't want them to. I can't give too much away here but I'm sure you get the drift.


    Oh I totally hear you. Glad you brought this up as I read it back and got the same impression you did. Yeah I'm not saying they're absolved. I've heard the same stories you have. I can't say specifically why but I'm aware of the inner workings quite conclusively actually. My point was more to the Juggxrnaught this whole thing is. It's as if it is a being itself or something. Maybe I'm not quite explaining it right but the point is people do and say things they might not normally all because of an idea. The "truth" as it were has little effect.

    @MrsObfuscate (btw do you know what obfusticate means, it's a tech term! I like it!)

    Yep still in school. Not too much longer. Just encouraging them to engage with others. We had a lengthy talk about what good friends are. I reminded them how many times they've had bad experiences for one reason or another. They both agreed. I said you'll have that in or out. in life we have our mate and maybe one or two close friends plus your family. In the end that's what it often works out to be. Basically the point I was trying to make is that either in or out of the organization making long lasting friends is work and effort.

  • bsmart

    A nice vacation in another area may help with a move... you scope out a place and check out the child/teen friendly places. If the kiddos are interested in something not quite forbidden, encourage them. Budding artist or skateboarder? Speak with a school teacher or counselor too..

    Moving to an area with good schools is so important. Put the kibosh on vacation pioneering. If the kids have a school assignment help them at the library. Skills on the computer will help them.

    Pay attention to your children; they will show you what their interests are.

  • Beth Sarim
    Beth Sarim
    Yes, it's a mind blowing experience out of the ''truth'' Hadriel. Mine, well it was an extremely gradual discovering the real truth. Years, maybe even decades. It didn't really come as such a shock, just doubts, more doubts, more doubts over months, then years on. It just built up over time. But best of luck in your journey out of the Borg.
  • Giordano

    You sound great very clear thinking good writing as well.

    Make sure no one in your family is still carrying a suicide note (The No Blood Card).

    I trust that your kids are not baptized? If pressure is put on them remind them that Jesus waited until he was 30. Luke 3:23 New International Version (NIV). 23 Now Jesus himself was about thirty years old when he began his ministry.

    My wife and I left when we were in our early 20's this was back in the 1960's. Eric Hoffer's book The true Believer showed me what the Society really was about...the funny thing was back in 1950 when it was published he probably didn't even know about the JW religion.

    Here's a quote that really opened my eyes about the WTBTS.......

    An active mass movement rejects the present and centers it's interest on the future. It is from this attitude that it derives it's strength, for it can proceed recklessly with the present- with the health, wealth and lives of it's followers. But it must act as if it has already read the book of the future to the last word. Its doctrine is proclaimed as a key to that book.

    Not only does a mass movement depict the present as mean and miserable - it deliberately makes it so. It fashions a pattern of individual existence that is dour, hard, repressive and dull. It decries pleasures and comforts and extols the rigorous life. It views ordinary enjoyment as trivial or even discreditable, and represents the pursuit of personal happiness as immoral.

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