My parents found out

by BlackWolf 33 Replies latest jw friends

  • BlackWolf

    So in my last post I talked about how I had told my younger siblings how I didn't plan to get baptized or ever be a witness. I thought I could trust them but I guess I was wrong, they're just kids after all. My oldest brother (who's 11) told on me today. I guess he got mad because lately he's been wanting to get baptized and I told him he should wait a few years. The only reason I told him this was because I asked him why he wanted to do it and he couldn't come up with a reason. All he said was "Idk, I just want to get baptized" over and over. He's just like my sister, he does whatever he's told. My youngest brother (9) on the other hand is very trustworthy and really listens to what I have to say, but it seems I might not be able to talk about this with him anymore.

    Anyways, I got in big trouble. My parents got angry because I was "teaching them false ideas" behind their backs. Apparently I have no right to tell my siblings my opinions because it's against what they want to teach them. They said if I ever say anything about "apostate" stuff again I'm going to have to leave.

    So I ended up telling them the truth about how I never plan on being a jw. They told me I could still live with them as long as I fake being a witness and go to all the meetings and stuff. While I feel like I can't really take this much longer I guess I have to. I'm going to find a job and save up as much as I can for a while and do online college. I have a df'ed aunt who I've been contacting who said I could come stay with her if I wanted. She lives very far away though. Maybe once I save up some money, I could live with her for a while? Do you guys think that's a good idea?

  • Crazyguy

    Move in with your aunt!

  • WTWizard

    They want to be mad because you do not want to be baptized--so tell them that this finalized your decision that you will never, under any circumstances, get baptized or even continue any jokehovian activity at all. That means no boasting session attendance, no talks, no field circus, no nothing. And if they continue trying to infringe on your freedom, try telling them that they will only succeed in getting you to directly go to Satan Himself. Nothing like having a round of black magic thrown against them, their congregation, or their theocraptic activity to impose guilt on them for infringing on your freedom to simply delay baptism.

  • Chook

    Blackwolf ,Move in with your aunt ONLY if she doesn't believe JW dogma anymore, its a big risk and sacrifice to stay behind to save your siblings ,I do understand brotherly love which the GB doesn't and they are not one little bit interested in you or your family's unity. Just encourage your siblings to do research on JW history then the rest will hopefully be history. Good luck girl , we are all on here glad to hold your hand on this difficult journey. Cheers Chook

  • Listener
    I guess he got mad because lately he's been wanting to get baptized and I told him he should wait a few years. The only reason I told him this was because I asked him why he wanted to do it and he couldn't come up with a reason. All he said was "Idk, I just want to get baptized" over and over. He's just like my sister, he does whatever he's told.

    You're right to get mad and even madder if your parents let him. It's dead obvious he doesn't have the personal capacity to make this life altering decision. Tight pants Tony and others are to blame for this.

    As to your parents wanting you to 'fake' your interest, you've really got to wonder where their mind is in all of this. Is it possible that one of your parents are just in it to keep the family harmonious?

  • berrygerry

    Stick it out as long as you can. Play the game. The baptism pressure is on for age 12 - too young for most to wake up.

  • DesirousOfChange

    Trust me, most likely it is a lot easier at home. I also find it particularly interesting that your parents are OK with you "faking it". That tells me that at least one of them is just there for appearances. Perhaps they too have some serious doubts themselves. Are there other family members that they are concerned about? Do they have business dealings that would be affected?

    Plan, plan, plan, plan…… for your future. Life is much easier without worrying about rent and utilities.

    Good luck!


  • OnTheWayOut

    I'm going to guess that "faking" is your term, that they just said to do the JW stuff and maybe be quiet about your thoughts.

    Do whatever it takes to get your education and have a normal life. Keep us posted.

  • smiddy

    If by faking it only means going to a meeting once or twice a week now and again I would suggest you consider it but not going from D2D ,I`d draw the line their .

    But ultimately this has to be your decision and you are the one that has to live with it whatever the outcome so think seriously about the pros and cons of your decision.

    If your parents are agreeable to you faking it maybe they too can help you in this regard making excuses etc for you of inquiring (sticky beaks ) minds.

    Living with your aunt could be a good outcome ,however you need to weigh up in the balances what problems that could cause in family relationships .

    I hope you find a solution that fits all partys here BlackWolf

    Take care.

  • Giles Gray
    Giles Gray

    Moving out might not be such a good idea.

    Your parents, even though they are JWs, still love you as parents. Your aunt won't see you in the same way.

    If things don't work out with your aunt, you could be stuck a long way from home with very little.

    And imagine facing your parents if you have to move back home, not to mention that if you are short of money it will cost them to bring you home.

    You could easily end up in a situation where you are more obligated to your parents than you are now.

    You also owe it to your siblings to stay at home. One day, all that you are going through will come out. Your siblings will pick up on the fact that something is not right with you and the religious beliefs of your parents.

    The fact that you are taking a stand will leave an opportunity for them to approach you about it in the future, if they ever start to question.

    It can't be easy living in a 'North Korean' style family. As hard as that may be, you are learning some very valuable life skills right now. These will be such an asset when you finally do venture out into the big wide world.

    Hope you can hang in there.

    Edit to add:-

    I think you need to consider how far you are going to compromise your integrity. To be told to fake things for the rest of the family is such a liberty.

    I think you need to work out how far you are reasonably going to go. If your parents ask too much of you, it could be worth highlighting how hypocritical such demands would be. Can't imagine Jesus demanding anyone to act out faith when it was not believed. Such a preposterous scenario

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