Loved & Lost?

by StinkyPantz 63 Replies latest jw friends

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie

    Northern Girl, an even keel belongs on a flat-bottomed boat, which twhacks ya around when the waves get rough....and nausea occasionally is a "given" on the roller coaster of life...<smiles> but it's nothing one can't survive...

    Frannie B

  • Mary
    I don't agree. I lost a true love, and the pain of that loss haunts me to this day. If I would never had met here I would be better off. I would rather deal with the thought of never loved.

    Obiwan, you described my thoughts to a T. This is probably the reason I've never married: I'm afraid of getting close to someone because I don't think I'd survive having my heart broke like that again. It gets lonely, but better lonely than going through that again.

  • onacruse


    Nothing tore me up emotionally like the slow death of that relationship. However, I know what true love is. Next time it comes around, I'll recognize it. I learned a lot from her, and I have good memories from our good times together that I will take with me for the rest of my life.

    Oh man, have you and I gone down similar paths! I've loved twice before, and lost twice before...the kind of love you describe about yourself...unconditional. Both losses almost crushed the life out of me, and I'd finally resigned myself to decades of loneliness.

    Then, out of the cold clear blue sky, came Kate

    In spite of the pain we've both had before, has a way of breaking through. We both have, and share, fond memories of our previous marriages. Such is life, the ups and downs, including not giving up on the joy and satisfaction of love.


  • pettygrudger

    We just recently lost my grandfather-in-law (last week). He had been with grandma for over 60 years. They were the love of each others life, and did EVERYTHING together. They were each others soul mates, best friends and everything that is right with the world. At times, they were also each others worst nightmare & worst enemy and everything wrong with the world - but they always came back around.

    Grandma's smiling this week, and I kinda thought it was weird. But she quoted that exact phrase with a smile & a tear, and it dawned on me - that's real love. She's content with her memories - they had a rich & full life and her life was made all the more worth living with him in it.

    Love should not be an obsession you can't get over. To really love, you must love yourself first. If you love yourself first, then the pain of letting someone go is easier - because the pain of unrequited love becomes the others loss - not your own. To really love another - means you wish for their happiness first & foremost - even if it means it can't be with you. I feel I've met the love of my life.....but should he chose a time that he can no longer be happy with me, then I will still always relish the memories we have together, and I would love again.

  • teejay

    Damn, PettyG,

    That was deep!

  • pettygrudger

    lol Teejay - hope that was a compliment!

    Seriously though - watching grandma has made me think alot about real love & a "real" relationship. What they had I think few ever experience, and if they do, then they have experienced real love & know what that phrase truly means.

  • Lapuce

    Well I would say its better to love then not have, I lost my great love, and I still suffer today the pain associated to it but I enjoyed the good times I had with my ex-wife and these I will remember for the rest of my life. So its better to have loved then not....


  • Surreptitious

    "'Tis better to have lost and loved
    Than never to have lost at all."

  • MegaDude


    It's people like you and your sweetheart that still give me a positive outlook on relationships.

  • ballistic

    "'Tis better to have loved and lost

    I agree, however difficult it is, you grow as a person through new experiences and that is what living is all about.

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