Loved & Lost?

by StinkyPantz 63 Replies latest jw friends

  • northern girl
    northern girl


    It is so good to hear from someone ' in love'. There will never be a happier experience ... it is not corny. I just hope you never experience the loss side of it.

    northern girl

    Lady Lee:

    The opportunity has never come my way again ... actually I've never allowed it. I will not allow myself to be vulnerable again!!!

    northern girl

  • safe4kids

    Ahhh of my favorites, altho I'm not sure he knew what the heck he was talking about. Lady Lee, you said:

    You know I have loved and lost. We were best friends and soul mates. We could discuss everything and I mean everything - no stone was left unturned. We laughed and cried together. We explored the world around us and learned so much from each other. It was a rebirth for me. I still love him and always will. But it wasn't meant to last and I can accept that. But I still miss him

    Been there, done that and all I can say is the jury is still out as to whether or not it was worth it. I don't ever want to go through that kind of pain again. Yes, the memories are wonderful but the loss almost killed me (at least, it felt like it! )

    That's in reference to a romantic for other kinds of love, well I can totally relate to the idea that loving and being loved is a wonderful gift and enhances our lives in so many ways. The love of and for my children; the love of and for my sister, my nephews, my friends...I wouldn't trade that for anything, no matter how much pain might arise from it on occasion.


    P.S. Sixy, dude you so funny

  • sxybrwneyes

    I have to agree with Obiwan. I lost the love of my life 6 years ago and the pain totally consumed me for about 3 years and I'm still traumatized over it, even though I have moved on, so in this case I think it would have been better not to have loved at all!

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    NG I don't know how much of my story you know but if there was anyone who should not allow herself to be vulnerable again - I'm it.

    Abused by just about every person in her life - and in every way - physcial emotional sexual financial mental spousal spiritual

    abandoned and neglected - wanna talk about vulnerable?

    I take a step into vulnerability each and every time. Even when it doesn't work out I am the winner.

    I need to be cautious - with whom and when but to not take that step means emotional death to me.

    We each deal with the past and whatever it brought to us in different ways. But to close the door on possibility is to close the door on ourselves. We cannot grow without possibilities and the possibility of love is worth ME taking the step for

    I hope one day you too feel safe enough within yourself to take a small step in that direction ((((NG))))

  • StinkyPantz

    Well since I started the thread, I suppose I'll comment. I'm with Tinkerbell on this one. . I am in love right now and I have yet to lose it, so I can't really say. I do think though, that regardless of what happens in my life, my time with Jon has benefitted me greatly. So I'd have to say that feeling the love I feel right now is worth any pain I might feel in the future.

    You got your nerve asking this kind of question so early in the morning.

    Hehehe. . sorry

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    (((safe))) don't see enough of you anymore hon

    It sucks to be still hurting. I suspect that like while giving birth we all say I don't want to do that again - but then we do. I have to wonder if this is the same.

    While I firmly believe I'd rather be alone than with the wrong person

    I don't want to spend the next 40 years alone either

  • safe4kids

    (((Lee))) Have I told you lately how much respect I have for you? No? I apologize as that's truly an oversight on my part.

    I can't say that I'm still "hurting" over the's just that I remember the pain and that prevents me from allowing myself to be so vulnerable again. I've only truly loved two men in my was my husband, the other my soul mate, as you described. And while I have accepted the loss and have moved on, I don't forget the pain of it and it makes me very cautious. I applaud your courage and your willingness to open up again and I also do not wish you to be alone. You so don't deserve that. I can relate however to your statement that you'd rather be alone than with the wrong person. That is EXACTLY how I feel and I've come to the conclusion that while my standards may be high, I am unwilling to lower them and 'settle'. There is so much more to life than just settling and I must say that all things considered, I still enjoy the ride and hey, it sure beats the alternative!



  • Francois

    Regret makes an awful life's companion, and losing my true love in 1978 has lead to decades of awful regret that I am helpless to banish. I would rather never have met McGraw than to have met her only to have to see to and feel her scar upon my heart day in and day out every day since. Especially is this true when I know if we had been able to stay together I would have been the happiest of men, and she she most fulfilled of women. The fact that it was all my own fault makes the pain even that much more poignant. I will not find surcease until this life is over, if then.


  • shamus

    I choose to both agree and disagree with your statement, Stinky.

    Love, Shamus.

    (Not love, but stalking love..... ) **just kidding, of course!

  • OrbitingTheSun

    I have had one great love and, although it is over now, I am happy to have experienced it. It’s even more beautiful now because I have memories of the way we matured together and learned the little idiosyncrasies of our love. I’m not bitter from it. I’m better as a person and hope I am fortunate enough to have another great love someday.

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