Not invited to congregation “get togethers”. They finally said it

by solomon 72 Replies latest jw friends

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  Jofi_Wofo

  I'm invited this Sunday to casual games, followed by a superbowl party. I'm genuinely looking forward to it. I do like my congregation, full well knowing I'm only a few months away from being categorically shunned. It's a strange spot to be in.

  I'm realizing more and more how much I tend to view other JW's as interchangeable. Could it be that everyone has "the new personality" and that swapping one NPC for another makes no difference to the overall plot? One of the reasons why I've held on so long is because I thought I could never replace the community. However, after having moved away from my hometown last year, I find I don't really miss any of my old friends. Sure, I'd love to see them if they happened to show up, but these new friends have found ways to fill in the slots left by my old ones.

  I can count on one hand the number of JWs that I will be saddened to never see again, people whom I really don't think anyone can replace. I wonder how many of my soon to be ex-friends feel the same about me.
• 

  Vidiot

  Jofi_Wofo - "...One of the reasons why I've held on so long is because I thought I could never replace the community..."

  It was the same for me.

  It sometimes takes a while to figure out that despite the Org's very insistent propaganda, there really are, in fact, other "communities" out there...

  ...just as good, and in fact, even better.
• 

  ChakkaConned

  Ahhh, this brings back such pleasant memories..the ever popular social slap down. I always enjoyed being invited to weddings at the KH but not being invited to the reception, where food, cake and other goodies were supplied to the spiritually strong. Good times!
• 

  LongHairGal

  CHAKKACONNED:

  I sure hope you didn’t give any money if you were not invited to the reception!

  I had a friend who had an awkward situation a few years ago when they got a verbal invitation to a wedding reception and was told ‘somebody would find them a seat’.😮..The person asked me what I thought. I told them this highly irregular and usually somebody gets an invitation in the mail which shows they are expected and there is certainly a place for them.

  I told them that IF they get to this reception and there is NO place and they are treated like an interloper - to very politely leave and make sure they take the envelope with the check with them!
• 

  belogical

  Is'int it amazing that the unbelieving spouse always gets an invite hypocrisy at the greatest level.
  
• 

  EmptyInside

  This thread brings up a lot of memories. On the matter of weddings...What do you think of a couple inviting one group to the dinner part of the reception,but then having a few others come later for cake and punch?

  I really don't care about the food at a wedding. But,I was highly insulted,when an old friend,gave me an invitation,where I felt like a peon , a peasant,as it were,and only invited to the latter part of her reception. After the wedding,I guess I was supposed to find something to do with my time for a couple hours. Well,I didn't go at all. And to be fair,I know non Witness weddings have their issues too. But,honestly, I would rather not be invited at all.

  And I did have a family member who sent out invitations to the hall for the wedding,but didn't give everyone an invitation to the reception. I was a bit disappointed they did that. Witnesses don't have many opportunities to get dressed up and dance,etc. And I understand that a couple and their families can't afford to include everyone. But, I just think that new trend among the Witnesses is a bit rude.
  
• 

  LongHairGal

  EMPTY INSIDE:

  If I didn’t get a proper invitation for the whole thing, I wouldn’t go at all and I would tell them so.

  If this is a new trend in the dopey religion ..they should shove it.

  I certainly would not attend some half-assed cake & punch thing.. Do these idiot Witnesses imagine they’re going to get a gift from people who are not properly invited to an actual wedding??
• 

  solomon

  I’m just reviewing this thread I started a few years back and like George Carlin said” it’s a club, and you ain’t in it”.

  It is human nature to form in herds. In years past it meant survival for the herd. It is this same mentality that drives Jehovah’s Witness behaviour.

  Is this any different than if you show up at a motorcycle club riding a Honda when every other member is on a Harley?
• 

  Gorb

  When we started to fade, we had the same experience.

  Fuck them, middle finger.

  G.
• 

  slimboyfat

  Yes, I’ve experienced this too.

  Stillin said it best on the first page: “If you aren't going to be spiritually strong, we're not going to encourage you.”

  At the same time, there are “weak” ones who they are prepared to give a bit of slack, and invite socially, even if they are not very active, if they perceive that a little “encouragement” is liable to suck them back in again full time. As a group, JWs do have an uncanny knack of being able to tell whether inclusion or exclusion is likely to exert the best psychological pressure to conform on an individual in any given situation.

  So if you’re inactive, or irregular, and you’re not invited out socially, it’s probably because the local JWs have made the (mostly subconscious) assessment that social inclusion is not going to encourage to conform to the role of regular JW and that they might as well exclude you socially. They reckon exclusion might make you think twice about being inactive, plus it’s a good opportunity for them to feel superior.