by StinkyPantz 49 Replies latest jw friends

  • StinkyPantz

    Okay, I think I'm crazy; and I think I need therapy. Why? Well here's a rundown of my life:

    Born; molested by cousin; best friend murdered by her father; eating disorder; abusive boyfriends; betrayed by best friend of 15 years; disfellowshipped; married after 6 months of dating; disowned by family; moved cross-country where I don't know anyone (this is only a partial list of course).

    I suppose that a lot of you have had similar stuff happen, I do not think that my life is unique. The problem is that I am not coping so well. I haven't slept for 72 hours, I lost 12 pounds last week (I didn't even leave the house once) and my only friends are online.

    This isn't meant to be a pity thread, but I need advice. How many here have been through therapy and how well has it worked for you? Also, how did you pay for it? I was on the anti-depressant Zoloft for a while but I didn't want to be dependent on a mood altering drug.

    If you feel weird putting personal stuff like this in the open PM me please.

  • gumby

    Born; molested by cousin; best friend murdered by her father; eating disorder; abusive boyfriends; betrayed by best friend of 15 years; disfellowshipped; married after 6 months of dating; disowned by family; moved cross-country where I don't know anyone.

    Hey SP,

    Zoloft, or any thing like it, will not change the above.

    It seems the last one you mentioned could be most of the trouble.........lonliness. When lonliness diappears........the other things you mentioned will probably not be that big of an issue.....except for the family rejection you have. I don't know of anything that eases that pain.

    Hugs and kisses from Gumby

  • lisaBObeesa

    First of all, SP, that is a lot of stuff you have been through!

    I have been in real, serious therapy for I guess about 9 months now.

    And I am just now starting to get real results. For the first 4 months I really had no idea if it was doing anything at all for me, but I was desperate for help and had tried everything else, so I just kept going.

    I just kept going, and kept being as honest as I could.

    Thank God I kept going.

    I am so glad, because now I am starting to feel better. I am starting to feel like ME again. And it has taken this long, about 9 months.

    But now, looking back from where I am now, I see it could not have taken any shorter time. I had to work through what I had to work through, and this is how long it has taken.

    And I have lots more work to do.

    I don’t think medication would have been the answer for me. And I was too messed up for group therapy, imo. I need the one-on-one. But everyone is different.

    All I can say is that it is really helping me. And if you knew me, you would know that is saying something!


  • StinkyPantz


    How much does this cost you? Does insurance cover it?

  • badolputtytat
    Born; molested by cousin; best friend murdered by her father; eating disorder; abusive boyfriends; betrayed by best friend of 15 years; disfellowshipped; married after 6 months of dating; disowned by family; moved cross-country where I don't know anyone.

    I think I am right there with you on just about everything you said.... I thought I was losing my mind. Mood swings, really off the wall stuff, like talking to myself, getting upset over little things, not sleeping cause I was too busy laying in bed cursing at the ceiling about the idiot who didn't use his turn signals... LOL... I lost twenty-two pounds in about ten days.

    Question... Have you ever had your blood-sugar levels tested? The weight loss and sleeplessness are sure signs. And not to worry, it can be fixed without drugs. It is called Hypoglycemia... you would be amazed at the symptoms it causes.... restlessness, nervousness, severe anxiety, insomnia, strong past memories of painful events, weight loss, loss of appetite, non-social behavior... I know it sounds crazy... but it is a suggestion... your blood-sugar levels can wreak havoc with your entire system. Make you think you are really going crazy.

    The test itself is pretty abusive. BUT diet can help a great deal. Eating every three hours (religously).. no sugar, etc.. it takes about a month to level yourself out...

    Just dont go rushing out to the nearest therapist just yet... and this is only a suggestion. I am no medical expert. ... and no.. I am not one of those people who are convinced I have every disease known to man... this will be my first "disease" in my whole life... but it sure explained why, I thought I was going crazy. Also... this can be caused by severe stress... so one way or the other.. keep an eye on the sugar levels.

    Hang in there Stinky...



  • StinkyPantz


    Wow, thanks for the suggestion. I had no idea hypoglycemia had those types of symptoms. My mother used to make me check my blood sugar regularly because she and my brother have diabetes, but I haven't done that for a year or so.

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex

    Don't downplay what you've been through SP. That's some heavy duty shit. It sounds like you've coped as well as you can for as long as you can, but now you seem to be at a crossroads. Realize that your body remembers what happened and it sounds like it's beginning to affect you. When the original event occurs we as victims are in survival mode. We're just trying to get through in one piece (sometimes literally) and we don't have time or understanding to deal with the full impact of what's really going on. So we put it away for another day, an emotional credit card if you will.

    I think you know my background, and I was actually younger than you when I hit the wall. I had a nervous breakdown at 23 and was in a psychiatric hospital for a while. I just literally shut down. All that stuff I had bottled up for years, and thought I had it under control brought me down. I started therapy, but back then (1985 was when I started) child abuse was not understood or talked about like it is today, and certainly not for men.

    Okay so here I am, 23 years old and in great shape but I barely could function at a brain dead job I was seriously over qualified for. I couldn't mow a very small yard at one time (I had to take breaks for a nap). I had major sleep troubles. Either I couldn't go to sleep, or stay asleep (too many nightmares) or I could barely stay awake during the day.

    It took me 6 years in therapy to get back to something close to what I was. But I think you're smarter than me. You won't fight it like I did. I think you're also cagey enough about people that you won't run across every quack in town like I did. It took me 8 different psychologists, psychiatrists, etc. before I finally found a gem. But even then when she suggested things, I fought her, just stubbornly determined I knew best. If I had just relaxed and trusted her, and dealt with the bottled up feelings I had I would have gone through much faster and easier.

    My suggestion is start calling around. Look for someone who has experience in dealing with adult survivors of abuse. Decide if you are more comfortable talking with a man or a woman. If money is an issue, there are many therapists who do work on a sliding scale (i.e., their fee is based on your ability to pay); ask about that. Many cities have social services available as well. See if there is a rape crisis center, or something similar. They might be able to point you towards a good therapist. Most insurance now covers psychotherapy, but each policy is different.

    I don't mind talking about anything that happened to me. I'm trying to be more selective though as I don't want to overwhelm people. If I can do anything to help SP, please let me know.


  • badolputtytat

    I would bet my putty-tail that this has something to do with it.... heredity is a SERIOUS factor.

    But it makes the anxiety no less... I know the hell it can put you through.

    Get it checked though.... the "condition" can take a sudden turn without warning... fine one day, and the next, you feel like your ovaries were hooked up to a truck battery or something ... it can really get ya.

    Pm me anytime...


  • lisaBObeesa

    Stinky, my insurance does not cover it :(

    But my therapist works with me on a sliding scale :)

    AND, I too have to watch my blood sugar levels or I really have a bad time.


  • bikerchic


    That's a lot of stuff you have on your plate. It would be hard for me to tell if you NEED therapy, what do you think? Listen to your gut.

    My therapist told me to use the rule of 3, whenever something keeps occuring in 3's then it's time to get help. It simply means you are stuck. Which probably doesn't mean a darn thing to you........but maybe dealing with three traumas ie; molestation, murder, abuse, eating disorder, betrayal, disfellowshiped, loss of family, not to mention just moving across country. Whew! Pick three, those are major issues.

    It would set anybody back to deal with just one of those. It takes a lot of strength to ask for help especially for someone who is as strong as you are, which btw is an asset in how hard you will work to make progress.

    How much does this cost you? Does insurance cover it?

    Almost all large cities have facilities where you can get counciling on a pay as you can basis. Check those out usually through the mental health agencies, you will get excelent help there. Also there used to be self help groups for eating disorders available but I'm not sure now, check the local paper or call the mental health office and see whats available in your area.

    I wish you all the best and if I can help at all you have my number, in fact I'll be calling you in a couple of days to see how you are. Big hugs!

    KateVisit Smiley Central!

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