Learn To Speak Like A Jehovah's Witness

by pale.emperor 42 Replies latest social humour

  • jwleaks

    GOD (Guardians of Doctrine) - A non-scriptural name chosen by Geoffrey, Samuel, Anthony, Stephen, Mark, Gerrit and David.

  • ToesUp

    "Exemplary" aka a task master and ass kisser.

  • Muddy Waters
    Muddy Waters

    KINGDOM MELODIES - (love the way some posters describe this as "Kingdom Maladies"!) -- a collection of dreadful, depressing, weirdly-paced, dreary songs, with weird chords and musical progressions that nobody has ever heard of before, sung self-consciously and sotto voice by a tone-deaf congregation.



    That was a FINE talk Brother Boring gave!..

    Everything is FINE in Watchtower World..


    You can`t have a "real friend" outside the WBT$.....It`s frowned upon..

    Your Only Real Friends Are..


    Image result for robot businessman

  • Muddy Waters
    Muddy Waters

    BIBLE STUDY - more than one definition. It may describe the reading and repeating of paragraphs from a JW BOOK which is NOT the Bible. Also used to describe a PERSON who studies a JW book (NOT the Bible).

  • Muddy Waters
    Muddy Waters

    WARM GREETING/WARM CHRISTIAN GREETING - This phrase lets the congregation know that they must applaud politely to either a visiting speaker, or a member who has travelled to another congregation and who is "bringing the love" home from that congregation. This latter action may have been done away with, probably because it made things much too happy and informal, but also had the sad effect of members not being able to publicly brag that they had faithfully attended other meetings while on holiday.

  • Muddy Waters
    Muddy Waters

    Not sure how to fit a definition around this.... but the verse in Acts 10:34, 35 which says that "God is not partial, but in every* nation, the one* who fears him and works righteousness is acceptable to him..."

    * every: only where there are Jehovah's Witnesses

    * one: meaning *only* Jehovah's Witnesses.

  • punkofnice

    I'm not sure if this is an advert or not (commercial if you're an American), but my book covers this....you know, the Kindle or paperback one on amazon?

  • baker

    Excellent meeting tonight, lets get a bite to eat...

  • sparky1


    UNITED in serving the true God:

    Nameless, faceless, no-personality drones collectively and individually giving up their free will by obeying the every utterance of the 'fallible and mistake prone,but spirit directed' Governing Body of Jehovah's Witnesses. (tm)

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