What made you stay "in" even when you knew it wasn't the "truth"?

by mentalclarity 70 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Doubtfully Yours
    Doubtfully Yours

    And another thing...

    I have tried to mingle and find friendships outside of the JW sphere, but it's been totally uncomfortable and even disastrous at times.

    At parties and other home gatherings there's always the games/entertainment with sexual tones, fowl language galore, blatant gossip and being overtly offensive with each other, always the drunks and the ones that cannot have a good time without smoking weed or some other drug of choice.

    Outside the JWs' demeanor, even if it's fake, I just cannot deal.

    On the other side, this last weekend, as just about almost every single Saturday in the Spanish side, we had a big wedding anniversary party. There we all had such great fun: Games, eating, dancing, checking out people I hadn't seen in a while; and, in moderation even a little drinking. Everyone looked so nice, festive without being scantily clad. It was just all around my type of fun environment.

    This sentiment I cannot find, although I have tried. A JW is what I am, even in disagreement of some stuff.

    It is complicated.


  • just fine
    just fine

    DY- you are kidding, right? I don't know what kind of worldly people you hang out with, but the majority are not drug addicts, drunks, or any worse gossips than JWs.

    Geesh, join a book club, take a painting class (sip & paints rock), check with your local chamber for fun things to meet new people. The best part is I hang out with a group, we have let's say painting in common. That's it, no one expects me to believe everything they do, don't stalk me to make sure I am not breaking the painting rules. And It's mutual, we are painting friends, that's it.

  • Doubtfully Yours
    Doubtfully Yours

    Recently, I have been looking into joining some type of Senior sports club of some sort; bicycle group maybe.

    The book club thing was a bit boring. Snoring session!


  • just fine
    just fine

    The point is to get out and meet people. In my town there is always something going on.

    Making gift bags for the residents of the nursing home, or visiting the people who don't have relatives.

    Back to school supply drives or Fill the backpack events - every Friday- backpacks get filled with food for kids that don't get fed properly at home.

    Volunteer at Fundraisers for people who have cancer/ lost their homes etc. Its a great way to meet people and see the kindness " worldly people" display.

    There is a senior center that hosts daily luncheon,with card games, bingo etc. they take bus trips together. They have water aerobics several times a week.

    Have fun and an open mind.

  • Rainbow_Troll
    Doubtfully Yours
    I have tried to mingle and find friendships outside of the JW sphere, but it's been totally uncomfortable and even disastrous at times.

    I've had the same problem. Most younger people these days are addicts of one type or another. Worldly 'parties' typically consist of binge drinking and music that is so loud it makes conversation impossible. The majority of young people today are boorish and stupid for a number of reasons: They are suffering from various degrees of brain damage from drug abuse. Most of them were forced to attend shitty public schools that groomed them to despise learning and knowledge. Also, they have to work much harder than previous generations just to pay rent and, due to youthful sex hormones, what little leisure time they have left is spent chasing ass or raising their misbegotten progeny.

    What I finally had to do was stop associating with people my own age and focus on the older generation. Most of my acquaintances are over 60 and I find I have a fairly good rapport with them in spite of the age gap. They've not only acquired a lifetime of knowledge and experience, but since their reproductive and working years are over, they now have plenty of time to think and learn.

    Since older people don't sleep for very long (pituitary gland shrinks and produces less melatonin as you age) the best time to socialize with them is early in the morning; not too long after dawn. Go into any diner, coffee shop or even McDonald's at that time of day and you'll find plenty of potential friends to choose from. Since they are generally ignored by the younger generations, most of them will be very open to starting a conversation, even with a total stranger. If you persist, you might even get invited to some of their parties.

  • LongHairGal


    I wouldn't want to associate with the types you mention either! I'd rather be by myself. I hope you have better luck finding a more suitable group to hang out with. Not all "worldly" people are as degraded as these.


    Thanks for being honest enough to describe the sad state of affairs about younger people today. I observed this as well but kept my mouth shut so as not to be perceived as judgmental. Even though all younger people don't fit what you describe (and a few are real gems) sadly far too many do. Unfortunately, we are a product of our environment and they got cheated and sold a bill of goods.

    I'm glad you are friendly with older people. So was I when I was in my late twenties and early thirties. I learned a lot and got acceptance whereas people my age were eating each other alive. I guess what this means is previous generations were raised better. They had fewer social ills and had religious, moral (as in ethical) upbringing that seems to be a dirty word today. Today, if you have good grammar some young people think you're some kind of snob. They mistakenly think all they need is tech knowledge.

    Best regards.

  • mentalclarity

    There are all circles of people- it's more about finding the ones that you click with. I know young people like the ones described but I also know of some great people who are involved in helping their communities, studying, taking care of their families and genuinely nice. Just keep looking if you haven't found your "people" yet.

  • Ding

    I think there are several reasons that apply to many JWs:

    1. Residual fear that the WT be right after all.

    2. Fear that their doubts are caused by Satan's deceit.

    3. Fear that they are throwing away their lives right before Armageddon rather than enduring faithful to the end.

    4. Fear that everything outside the WT is horrendous and that the WT is the closest thing to the truth there is.

    5. Fear of being alone, rejected by everyone they care about.

    Where do all these fears come from? A lifetime of WT indoctrination.

  • tepidpoultry

    In addition to Ding's comment:

    Half believed the idea that my lack of faith was my own fault, needed to do more, to get more of J's Spirit, Also on another front, didn't want to show my hand, see the end of my marriage, all family relations, (which all did end) I just figured I'd carry on in the ridiculous until I died, and then I just couldn't do it any longer, the amount of nonsense kept piling up until I couldn't take it anymore,


  • tepidpoultry

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