What made you stay "in" even when you knew it wasn't the "truth"?

by mentalclarity 70 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Giordano
    Giordano

    A good thread......interesting.

    I think my take away is how pervasive a religion can be. If you are a born-in it's all you've ever known. It's the right thing and the right way to go............ nothing to really examine........... until you learn differently.

    If your converted at an older age you probably have some mental kinks but nothing anyone might mention. If a born in but you refuse to get baptized, you definitely, from the JW perspective, have some mental kinks.

    To really see the forces at work look at what people have believed.......Since the WT formed in the late 19 century look at all of the nonsense religions that got a foothold in that era.

    The Shakers started in the 18th century but drew a lot of members in the early 19th century. Married couples who joined them could no longer sleep together .......forget about sex.

    The Mormons......... started by a con man who wound up with 30 or 40 wives. Shot to death in a jail cell by irate husbands and Town people. With a bundle of very disparaged beliefs they prospered. Up to 18 million. Wow! Until you realize that they still count their population by births. If you were born in and fell away you were still counted a Mormon. On that basis the JW's could easily double their numbers or just count the Memorial attendance.

    Mary Baker Eddy founded the Christian Scientists. It really wasn't Christian nor Science. The religion attracted followers and got up to 500.000 believers. They killed themselves off as medical practices greatly improved........ they are now down to 50,000 according to the internet.

    The point of this is how pervasive beliefs.......strange or not.....can be.

    All a religion has to do is explained by Eric Hoffer in the True Believer........

    All active mass movements strive, therefore, to interpose a fact-proof screen between the faithful and the realities of the world. ...by claiming that the ultimate and absolute truth is already embodied in their doctrine and that there is no truth nor certitude outside it. ...To rely on the evidence of senses and of reason is heresy and treason. It is startling to realize how much unbelief is necessary to make belief possible. What we know as blind faith is sustained by innumerable unbelief's.

    Amen to that one.

    So I say hats off to everyone who fights off, crawls out of, claws their way out of and forthrightly seeks a better way to live knowing that they will ultimately be abandoned by the very people they sought to serve with, abandoned by a corrupt organization, abandoned by family and friends.

  • mentalclarity
    mentalclarity

    @doubtfully yours - that's kind of how I see my JW family- the crazy doctrines they believe don't bother me. I'm surrounded by all types of different beliefs (people who follow gurus and make vision boards/others who love Jesus, Jesus. Jesus/those who believe in the power of crystals, etc ) none of that really matters to me and they are welcome to believe what they want. I just can't stand the self-righteousness of the JW. That the others who think differently must be evil/stupid for not recognizing the "truth". The dismissing of other people's ideas and opinion's just because they are "worldly". Even without the shunning this would really bother me.

  • mentalclarity
    mentalclarity

    @Giordano - thanks for that info. I didn't know the history of those other religions. Very interesting point about denying realities in order to "believe" the one truth.

  • Ucantnome
    Ucantnome

    I didn't really stay in "even when you knew it wasn't the 'truth'"

    I was raised in the truth with strict parents and left school and pioneered, I left over 20years ago. When I stopped preaching, two things were involved. One, I couldn't preach something I was unsure of and the other was it occurred at a time in my life where it was easier to change.

    There was a period where I tried to resolve the problem (doctrinal) that I had and thought things may change. This was about 2 years. Going in field service stopped immediately and meeting attendance became less frequent. At first, the meeting attendance diminished due to a change in our circumstances brought about by the 'problem' and later due to the reaction of the elders in taking six months to visit me although I had requested it.

    Coming to a conclusion that it isn't the 'truth' isn't something I feel in a position to make.

  • mentalclarity
    mentalclarity

    @Ucantnome I have a very good JW childhood friend who is still in (although probably considered a weak JW). She also tells me she doesn't know or not know if it's the "truth". It doesn't seem to make a difference for her. It's just a social club. She has absolutely no issues with me and we speak quite openly. If everyone was like that (allowing each other to have their own opinions/beliefs) there wouldn't be an issue with the JWs. Unfortunately that's not the case and we are ostracized and shunned for having moral integrity-standing up for what we believe which is ironic since that is what we're taught to do....

  • Rainbow_Troll
    Rainbow_Troll
    Mentalclarity: we are ostracized and shunned for having moral integrity-standing up for what we believe which is ironic since that is what we're taught to do...

    This is what outrages me the most. When I was in, I obeyed most of the rules while my friends led a double life, for which I did not condemn them. But when I openly disagreed with WT doctrine and left, my friends had the nerve to shun me for just being honest about who I was and what I thought!

    Good people are applauded for parading their virtues and concealing their vices, as if such vanity were commendable; while the bad are shunned for not having the shame to cover up their shortcomings.

  • mentalclarity
    mentalclarity

    @Rainbow_Troll and that's how it ends up being so hypocritical.

    I've had this conversation with my JW mom several times where I tell her I can't be in a religion and teach something I'm not convinced of. I ask her if she'd be happy if I just stayed in and "pretended" and how much merit that would have. She usually just stays silent-but she doesn't shun me. Althoug I'm sure it's very disappointing to her, I'd like to think deep down inside she's proud she raised a daughter with some integrity.

  • Rainbow_Troll
    Rainbow_Troll
    Mentalclarity: I've had this conversation with my JW mom several times where I tell her I can't be in a religion and teach something I'm not convinced of. I ask her if she'd be happy if I just stayed in and "pretended" and how much merit that would have. She usually just stays silent-but she doesn't shun me. Althoug I'm sure it's very disappointing to her, I'd like to think deep down inside she's proud she raised a daughter with some integrity.

    I had the same conversation with my mom and she told me to go to the meetings even if I didn't believe. As far as she's concerned, Jehovah values appearances far more than a person's inner convictions.

  • mentalclarity
    mentalclarity

    @Rainbow_Troll that's terrible...my elder brother would love for me to study relentlessly until I "get it" but since I won't he has minimum contact with me.

  • Ucantnome
    Ucantnome

    '@Ucantnome I have a very good JW childhood friend who is still in (although probably considered a weak JW). She also tells me she doesn't know or not know if it's the "truth". It doesn't seem to make a difference for her. It's just a social club.'


    My comment in my previous post, 'Coming to a conclusion that it isn't the 'truth' isn't something I feel in a position to make.'

    I never viewed my being a Witness as being part of a social club, it was my religion. I viewed it as the true religion. When I used the expression someone was 'in the truth' I usually was referring to them as being a JW. The true church or congregation I understood was the anointed 144,000 and I was associating with them.

    The primary evidence of this anointing and knowing that they have a heavenly calling I understood was based on having the spirit and a sense of sonship. (Romans 8:15-17, Galatians 4;6,7)

    I don't feel that I can say they have or don't have it, I think it is personal to them. All I can say is that I will not join with them in the preaching work as I am not convinced of what I understand the message to be because of what they taught me and changed. Therefore I am no longer a witness but they may still be the anointed. That is my view.


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