What made you stay "in" even when you knew it wasn't the "truth"?

by mentalclarity 70 Replies latest jw experiences

  • joe134cd

    I was fully awake to TTATT for about 18 months while still attending meetings and doing FS. I honestly thought I could live in 2 worlds. living in one world of knowing that Gods organisation was seriously flawed while still been an active witness. This was greatly underestimated and on the 2nd read of CoC I walked out of the hall for good.

  • smiddy

    When you have been in it for many many years investing much time and money and emotion ,its not easy to just cut yourself off cold turkey.

    At first you dont want to believe it ,and then slowly it takes hold on you when you cant deny the facts.

    It takes time to absorb the fact that you have been duped / conned for however long you have been in the religion.

    It is not something you process in the short term ,it can take months and sometimes years to fully extricate yourself from such a belief and involvement.

  • LoveUniHateExams

    What made you stay "in" even when you knew it wasn't the "truth"? - in a word: FEAR.

    Fear that, although the WT was wrong on certain things, God still might be using it as his 'channel', and I would be burnt to a crisp at Armageddon if I left.

    Fear that I would lose all my friends.

    Fear that I would disappoint my dad.

    F**k the WT!

  • nonjwspouse

    Mental clarity: I also think it's mental laziness- no need to think for yourself.

    This is what I see in my right now physically out husband. He seems not to want to think for himself about many things. He gets angry when he comes to me for some answer/help about something, and I ask questions as to what he thinks about it, more details about the situation etc. ( which he should be thankful that I am showing respect for his thoughts on the matter) Instead he gets angry, tells me I am "degrading"? him and storms out saying " I just wanted an answer!"

  • mentalclarity

    @joe134cd I also thought I could just do the bare minimum and still have the "community" but it didn't work.

    @smiddy definitely he investment weighs heavy- it takes time also to slowly untangle yourself and make an exit if you have family you still want to keep in contact with (or try to at least)

  • Laika
    Fear that I would lose all my friends.
    Fear that I would disappoint my dad.

    Same Luhe, I grow very attached to people. How was your dad? Mine was definitely disappointed but I don't think he's too bothered now.

  • EverApostate

    I remained in for almost a year just to make sure that this JW religion is 100% false and the Bible is 200% nonsense.

  • LoveUniHateExams

    Same Luhe, I grow very attached to people. How was your dad? - well, when I first realised the WT was a croc of sh1t, my dad was a true believer. I was all alone, initially.

    Eventually, me and dad faded at the same time but for different reasons, I think.

    I still think WT is a croc but, deep down, a part of my dad still believes.

    Eight months after we had both faded, I came across a newspaper article on the child sex crimes of Michael Porter. This man was a ministerial servant who had been sexually abusing pre-pubescent children years earlier. The first judge was impressed with his religious connections and 'repentance', and Porter initially didn't receive a custodial sentence. WT initially did not disfellowship him, but stood by him. The case went to appeal and the second judge gave Porter jail time - then WT disfellowshipped him.

    There are threads on Porter here at JWN, if you can stomach them.

    Me: how can the WT criticise the Catholic Church for its laxness on paedophilia when it clearly has its own problem?

    Dad: what are you moaning about - you left the JWs.

    What a tit ...

  • Doubtfully Yours
    Doubtfully Yours

    Absolutely LOVE my JW family and friends.

    No doubt, my life would be mere existence without them.

    Their crazy JW notions are quite manageable.

    Hey, how about the crazy notion of many (specially the wealthy and scientists) about colonizing Mars.... MARS...!!!??? A planet completely inhospitable to mankind!!!

    Oh yeah, I can definitely deal with the JW delusions.


  • Laika

    Hi Luhe, thanks for sharing, your story sounds similar to mine, my Dad has faded too but never fully got to grips with it all, I don't want him to feel too much guilt about bringing his family in so I tend to let things be. It's annoying though, I get it.

    I knew Michael Porter, we were in the same congregation in Wimbledon (this was after his prison time) His wife and in laws stood by him too, all very disturbing. Jookbeard also knows him. Some JWs thought he stumbled me and was why I left but the truth is that I was on the way out anyway.

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