by ElderBerry 46 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
If you once were fully PIMI and truly believed JW doctrine to the core like I once did, when you come to the reality that it is not the truth at all it can be extremely devastating.
I think only other ex JWs could ever understand. I wasted my entire life I thought the real life was yet to come to wasted the best years knocking on doors. Now Iām so angry.
I can understand why so many top themselves when they realise it was all lies.
I get it, Elderberry, many wasted their lives in bondage to this cult. Hang in there, life gets better. ššš»
I also spent 30 years (9 to 39) as a witnes, incl. being a ministerial servant and elder. It affected my life choices. However, I am not angry or bitter. That would be a waste of energy. Had many nice memories too. And it is part of my life book.
I'll smash your "like" button.
Great observation
I wasted 50 years! I think myself an idiot for not getting out sooner. The cracks were there, I just ignored them because I knew men were imperfect. At anyrate, try not to beat yourself up or be depressed about it. Instead of woe is me for all the nonsense I have seen over the past 50 years, I am thankful to be out. Try to view it from a point of gratefulness and thankfulness and gladness not to be their slave...FEEL BETTER not bitter.
It's not a total loss.
Avoid the total loss thinking.
Please don't let the rest of your life be ruined by the first part of your life.
Search for truth now (not "the truth") and move forward.
I was 101% in when I was in. I went through a period where I faded pretty gradually, still telling myself it was the truth but my subconscious mind had already checked out. By the time I realized I was out, it wasn't traumatic. I was in for 30-40 years or so, made it to MS with people sure that I'd be an elder in due time. I'm sure there are a lot of people who feel that I wasted a lot of potential.
I do feel a bit of sadness for losing out on some possible career paths that I decided not to follow, but I got lucky- an opportunity in IT when I was just beginning to fade allowed me to develop a career and make a decent living. My life was in good shape when I finally let go and walked away from the org. No bitterness, no looking back.
A lifelong friend confided almost word for word to me the original post quite a few years ago.
Then, surprisingly after a few life altering events, and doing 'research' they went back into the borg. I suppose as long as they are happy that's the main thing I tell myself...
Similar story, lots of years of tilting at windmills. A word of advice. Go on a few former Mormon sites for a couple days. There are many, many people in a similar place as former JWs. I have dear friends who were kicked out of Wisconsin Synod Lutheran church, Disillusioned Baptists and even 2 ex-nuns. Oh and another that was in a sex cult that kept her pretty much a prisoner.
