Nobody else understands

by ElderBerry 46 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Sea Breeze
    Sea Breeze
    I think only other ex JWs could ever understand.

    I used to occasionally try to explain the JW experiece to others. They all got a glazed look on their face and some were honest enough to tell me that what I was saying was beyond anything they had ever experienced and simply could not in any way relate. They were polite about it. They just wanted me to know that I might was well be discussing the effect of quantum fluctuations on Schroeder's Cat.

    In February I will have been married 20 years to someone with no connection to JW's. I relied on her over the years to try and understand what is normal in raising our two sons. My wife is about as close I will ever get to someone understanding the JW experience, but there is only so much she can take. There is a point where she will not look at the darkness, and shuts it down for her own protection.

    She basically describes how JW's raise their kids as criminal. It is useful to understand that normal people do not want to understand criminals.

    It is not plausible to expect that anyone would even want to do a deep dive into WT insanities. This includes counselors who use behavior modificatioin models. You would have to find a masters level psychologists or psychitrist.

    You will likely spend the rest of your life trying to figure out what happened to you. But, you can still do everything you need to do in this life.

    In the movie "A Beautiful Mind", the man living with sczophrenia learned to simply live with his imagined friends. He got to the point where he could realize they weren't true, although they were always with him.

    Once he embraced truth regardless of what his senses told him, he was able to function much better.

    I prefer to think of XJW's as people with beautiful minds. Seek truth and you will be fine.

  • peacefulpete

    Healthful choices. Fact is, most everyone wants to have a successful family and get along peacefully with others.

    The fly in the ointment with religions like JWs is the measure and method of control. The use of shaming and shunning destroys happiness every bit as much as the supposed destructive lifestyle they wish to control.

    Of course, we also have issues relating to the psychology of apocalypticism and isolation.

  • Foolednomore

    Many have experienced what you are going through. Put your past Jw life in your rear view mirror and move on with what you would like to do with your life.

    You can do it!



    better late than never my friend, better late than never.


  • mikeflood

    Jesus was preaching all the time, you were sincerely trying to follow Jesus path eventually you're gonna find a fellowship that suits you.

  • DesirousOfChange

    If you once were fully PIMI and truly believed JW doctrine to the core like I once did, when you come to the reality that it is not the truth at all it can be extremely devastating.

    I think only other ex JWs could ever understand. I wasted my entire life I thought the real life was yet to come to wasted the best years knocking on doors. Now I’m so angry.

    Yes, it is indeed "devastating". A gut punch. When you wake up it's like learning your mate has been cheating on you for years, and telling lie after lie after lie.

    Anger! Yes, after the dust settled and I got over the shock of it all, I too was ANGRY! Angry that those bastards misled me (and my parents, grandparents, etc) for decades. And YES! at some level up there in NY somebody at or near "the top" knows this!!! I buy into the idea that many of the Top WT Dogs are "captives" too -- that they really really believe it all and can't see through the shit because their head is up their A$$. BUT, the writers who twisted quotes and told outright lies to give convincing arguments on the BS doctrines MUST KNOW. Plus, someone higher approved all this deceitfulness. (Can you say LIES?)

    And then I found myself angry at myself. I'd like to think I'm a pretty smart guy. You know -- like Yogi, smarter than the average bear. SO how did I buy into the whole BS scam of it all? I had householders warn me. (HA! what did they know!) I had friends question it all. (Let 'em die if they don't "get it"!) I HAD DOUBTS! Yeah, I had doubts years before I opened my eyes wide enough to see it all. I actually convinced myself that the 1995 generation change made sense. (OMG) I researched it deeply. Using WT publications, of course. (I have no idea why the text changed.)

    My wife and I are old. We can "start over" but we really don't have the time left to make "life-long friends" as most of our life has passed us by already. But thankfully our children got out. They saw TTATT even before we did. They didn't flaunt it or ridicule us. But by the time they were out of college (see there, I didn't go along with their higher education crap), and on their own, they were done with it. They had their own new network of friends. They aren't ex-JWS. They have moved on to Ex ex-JWs. Interestingly enough, they often discover one of their former JW friends is now also an ex-JW. I guess they are "millennials". WT has lost the majority of their generation.

    The greatest revenge is living a happy & successful life!

  • MissDaSilva

    24 years in but spent a few of those years inactive. I honestly thought it was the truth. I woke up in 2021 after update number 10 - the vaccine stick.

    I haven’t been to an in person meeting or on field service since the memorial. This week I’ve decided to leave. I’m not sending my contact information forms back to the secretary after the 2 congregations merged recently.

    They can get lost. I’m done.


    Yes, we do understand. We know it can be difficult. You can always come here and vent.

    It’s also ok to believe something new, or not. Lol. You’re in unknown territory, but that’s the fun part.

    You have freedom now, even the freedom to go insane, or sane, whatever the case may be. If you want a wild ride just look back through all my old posts. I think I had every breakdown a person can have.

    It’s ok to be upset about time lost, but that is just one perspective. Another is that your experience as a Dub has given you some very unique insights that you can use going forward. Also, remember that no one has a perfect life. No one….

    Instagram lives are just curated highlights for the most most part, so don’t fall into the trap of self pity.

    DD 🍺🍺🍺

  • BluesBrother

    I know this exactly. After realising that , you’re not going to live forever and you only have the allotted 70 years or so, and that you have already wasted most of it .....That is a horrible thing to deal with.

    But you do. My awakening was 20 years ago. I am already past the “three score and ten” years so every day is a bonus. I am not good at keeping positive but I try. Just enjoy every day as it comes.

  • Teddnzo

    My family is mentally out but don’t want to lose life long friends and family who are still in.

    We are staying JWLITE and hope that others will join us without ever being able to be accused of causing divisions

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