Being a JW kid is hell
JRK - Interesting thing is my dad didn't get baptized until I was around 19 or 20, everyone in the KH just loved him, and my mother, but me . . . . well, read the above again. So glad as a child though the Borg encouraged wives to still fix the holiday meal for their UBMs so I have great memories of the holidays going to friends and family houses and celebrating and gifts. But when you become a teen when,you want to be accepted, he started attending off an on, he was love bombed, even was appointed and Elder after a while. But still, my peers,the MFers, male and female, still decided to pull the "mean girl act" on me, but the thing that gets me my mom always seemed to back them up, saying only if I took an interest in da troof they would like me. That's why when she still crosses my mind to this day, the thoughts are not pleasant, at all.
My JW mother was all about the end of the world in 1975 and my non-JW dad made sure we didn't miss out on a fairly normal upbringing with birthdays and Christmas and the like. I went to many meetings, was told to fear the end of the world. I don't know that Jehovah's Armageddon was all that real to me, but JW's was the only religion I really learned. I saw a fellow student, Natalie, raised more hardcore JW and she had to leave the classroom for holiday stuff and she didn't say the pledge.
My parents divorced, Mom was DF'ed sometime shortly after 1976 started and went back a few years later. As a young teenager, I wasn't interested in going back with her, so I did not.
I feel for others. It seems I managed to escape many of the "growing up JW problems." I get it, because I have heard it and saw it happening to others. Certainly, I was changed by my JW childhood experiences, but not in such terrible ways as others.
Your letter should be very therapeutic for you. I hope it helps. Writing about things helps me immensely. I wrote a letter to my mother long ago and destroyed it so it couldn't accidentally wind up in her hands.
I agree it was a living hell. My JW mother was a convert about a decade before I was born, and due to her highly dysfunctional family background, she clung to the troof tighter than ever and dragged me down with her. Recently a member on this board put a call out for hypothetical letters that we'd never actually send to family members, and it felt so good to get all my feelings out even though she'll never read it. (I didn't post it publicly, it was through private message, as the new poster said they were writing a book and looking for submissions in that vein).
Seems we all have mommy issues, JW style ® lol
John...weird childhood indeed. I think about from time to time when I wouldn't eat my cooked carrots my mother telling me "what are you going to eat when you are in prison during the tribulation, and all they give you is cooked carrots?" Prison??? to a little child?? Huh??? In her own way I guess she was preparing me, but jeez...prison?
Today at work I asked a temp worker what she was going to do for the weekend. She said she was going to color eggs to keep the tradition but her boyfriend wasn't raised celebrating holidays and he's not into it. Yep. Raised a JW. I told her the same for me, and we had a discussion about the shunning, and how cold people are to her when she attends his family gatherings and goes to the KH. And she's the sweetest thing. So what a greeeaaaat witness! Keep it up dubs!
I feel you John. The religion is spirit crushing. You don't forget the way you felt as kids, no matter how old you are. xx
I am glad that you were spared from the scorn in school. Since my dad was not very involved in raising us kids, mom called the shots about what to do. I am glad that your dad was a buffer for you. My resentment of my dad is more like a book instead of a letter!
It was strange, when the therapist told me to write the letters, I thought I had no resentments towards my mother. Then I thought of the religion and it poured out. Mom was the sweetest person, but the cult messed her up.
Your mom said "prison," mine called it "concentration camps." Either way, it is still abuse and causes little kids nightmares!
Your friend at work needs a different boyfriend! If she doesn't want to be miserable, she should run from the "not a real JW" boyfriend! She will get sucked in or treated like shit.
Heather: Thanks for the link.
Atlantis: You're welcome.
Thanks for sharing that. I think that's a courageous thing to do.