My DF'd Niece Wasn't Reinstated Because She Talked To Me, My Daughter& Mom

by minimus 38 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus

    She's much better off not getting reinstated, Yeru. You know that and I know that but we don't count. I think that if her mom and dad could talk to her like normal parents, this would probably solve all the problems. I'm working on them, though.

  • Shakita
    I'm working on them, though.

    Good for you!

    Talking to your df'd niece is definitely a no-no, you know. They might not do anything now about you speaking and (oh no, the unforgiveable sin!) EATING with her, but they will remember this and use it against you in the future. I had an elder in my cong. who remembered a comment I made to him years ago, and when I was fading he used it against me when speaking to my husband. This elder-person was a scumbag and I am afraid that I was not very cooperative when he was trying to counsel me. I never liked being talked down to.

    Hang in there, min. Hope things work out for your niece and her family.

    Mrs. Shakita

  • kilroy2

    In my opinion. people will always take control of others who are weaker than themselves. its simple, they only have the authority over you that you give them. the power is really in your hands, the illusion is that it is not. so drop your drwars and tell them to kiss your ass.

  • Dansk
    btw, Dansk, why that question, on your part???

    Because I've recently found out that I'm classed as bad association. If someone speaks to me, therefore, they could, theoretically, be brought before the elders. Funny how the elders haven't told me personally.....................

    Therefore, if the elders hold fast to Watchtower directives you should have been counselled for mixing with "bad" company.


  • Room 215
    Room 215

    Minimus, my sympathies for all concerned. Short of ``taking arms against a sea of trouble" by telling them to ``get bent," I can only share what's worked for me.... tell them it was a meeting called to discuss necessary family business (involving money, or a will, or a debt owed, etc.).... They and their leaders understand and respect money.

  • breal

    That is horrible - not only the betrayel of keeping someone else's letter, but then to try to trick her with questions that they think they already have answers to. Then to keep her in limbo for another week while they officially "decide" - not very loving on there part. I wonder if they realize what a horrible "witness" this gives to others, like her "wordly" spouse who must be outraged by how they are treating her. So often the elders contradict themselves - needing 2 witnesses on one hand for serious unlawful offences but then basing decisions on hearsay when someone like your niece is trying to be reinstated.


  • minimus

    Room 215, We were at the local bar in town. That would have to be a pretty good stretch to say that we "were conducting necessary family business". Ultimately, if I'm approached, I'll tell them I've already discussed this in the past with you and I'll not get into again.

  • dawn27

    I really feel for her. I was never Df'd or Da'd but the lack of humility and judgmentalness was very apparent when I met with the elders about my boyfriend. You could tell that they considered it a direct "challenge" of their authority and they spoke very condescendingly. They went so far as to say that my children would be pagans and disapproved by Jehovah if I was to marry him. I told them that my children would be gifts from Jehovah and asked how they could judge a man whom they had never met (and his future children) as being pagan and not worthy of life. To make a long story short, I am now happily married to the "pagan" and refused to have any more "meetings" with the elders. He is the kindest, humblest man that I have ever known. This is in stark contrast to the prideful, judgemental type of man who "enjoy" shunning, judging others and calling judicial meetings. What right do they have to tell her who to love or to keep her in a shunned state out of spite?

  • sunshineToo

    Hi, min! {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{minimus}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

    It's been a while. I'm so sorry about your niece, but I have to ask you. Why does she want to get reinstated?

  • minimus

    She NEEDS the feeling of acceptance. She had family issues while growing up that neccesitated her to be under psychiatric care. Her father will only minimally talk to her because he feels this is "the right thing".Her mother daily calls her to see if she's alright. I believe if both parents normally interacted with her, she would not feel the need for reinstatement........(You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, You make me happy....)

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