I HATE my ex-husband

by bluesapphire 33 Replies latest forum tech-support

  • neyank

    Bring him to court.

    The judge will make him get a job and the state will take out so much per week from his check.

    Or he will face jail time.


  • bluesapphire

    First things first to Random Task:

    Did you have no part in making children with this man, or did you wake up one day with three kids and a deadbeat husband/ex-husband (not referring to your current).

    Dude! You need to take a chill pill. You sound like a sanctimonious ass. Not that you are one. But give me a break. Uh doy, no I didn't know I participated in creating my children. Pulllleeeezzzee

    Listen, I do feel sorry for you, my mother raised my sister and I all by herself from the time I was 12 and her 8 and most of the time didn't recieve child support from my father, finally having to get his wages attached. It was a hard life.

    Don't feel sorry for me buddy. Good for your mom! I had my ex's wages attached to his job at UPS. Too bad he purposely lost it to get out of paying just to spite me. And yes IT IS A HARD LIFE for my kids. That's why I'm pissed off!

    But your children are also your responsibility and if their father cant have a meaningful role in supporting them then that is just something that you, who decided to take on the responsability of children as well, are going to have to deal with.

    Bingo! That's also why I'm upset. Because I have a little baby boy who is also MY responsibility. And my husband wishes I could stay home with him instead of shipping him off to daycare. But alas, impossible because of the dead-beat.

    Sheila and the rest: Thanks for your support. It meant a lot to me. It does get stressful and I'm also more than a little upset over the thought of leaving the baby.

    I'm also angry at the system. I've been to the child support offices every month for the past six months and have had an open case for three years. They finally agreed to take him back to court for a "judgment debtor". All they did was tell me they could find no income. They didn't order him to get a job, jail time, NOTHING! He owes me more than 100K. They told me I could attach his social security in about 22 years! A lot of good that'll do my kids right!

    Oh well, maybe he'll get hit by a truck or something.........

  • Utopian_Raindrops

    Sapphire Sweety,

    Yes your ex is a butt!!

    This must be very difficult on your and your current hubby.

    I am a single parent and I hate being away from my children so work wise I will tell you what I have done to “get by”.

    1 st I ran a daycare for quite a few years from my home so that I could always be with my babies. I just called around found out the prices and undercut everyone!

    This is quite grounding though and the down fall is many parents pick their children up late or some even bring their kids sick and don’t say a thing! I started fining and sometimes let clients go.

    I worked for a Nanny Service for a time and many clients let me bring my children but services frown on this. So I got my own clients.

    Currently I do at home personal care for invalids. My clients are aware that I will only accept jobs that my children can come on.

    I have also done house sitting….not all homes need someone there 24 hours….just someone to check in.

    My oldest and I are going to start giving Piano lessons as soon as we move. This will be a nice change and we’ll be doing this in our apartment so things will be nicer for my son.

    There are other things I have done too but these would be most practical for you.

    Oh….yes….I know several single moms’ who take on cleaning jobs at offices and homes and their clients also know they only take jobs that allow their children along.

    If none of these seem good…. waitresses make good money and I know a few who work only 10pm to 2 or 3 am Thursday thru Sunday. These are good tipping hours here and they don’t need sitters (which can be costly) since a relative or the father is home at those hours.

    I hope some of these suggestions help your family out and do go for his social security to pay you back later!

    I know a single mom who sacrificed greatly and it wasn’t till after her children grew up the courts came through with back child support……after all her hard work and dedication to her children she deserved the reward!

    {{{{{{{{Hugz}}}}}}} Beauty from someone who knows all about deadbeat dads! Utopian_Raindrops

  • bluesapphire

    Those are great suggestions. When the girls were little I worked at home doing paralegal work and forensic transcription. It paid very well. Later on my major client lost his license and I lost the majority of my income so that's when I went to work. It did keep me at home with the girls for 10 years.

    I am trying to find clients but the market is considerably different now. Most people type their own forensic reports rather than dictate them. And the paralegal stuff is slow finding clients.

    Anyway, I make a good income working for the school district and I enjoy working at the same school as my girls attend. It's leaving the baby that's breaking my heart.

    Taking care of kids sounds like a possibility while I keep looking for clients. Either that or getting training as a loan processor or something like that. I'm not much of a kid person. I mean I like to watch kids and laugh at their playing and stuff. But I don't like to be responsible for anyone's children except my own.

    You bet I will not turn down the social security. It would just be nice to get it now. The thing is too that he's only hurting himself. Always crying to the girls about poor him having to live in a garage and he'll never find another woman because their mom is doing this to him (attaching his wages). The girls are smart though and don't feel sorry for him.

    I really admire single moms. I'm lucky I remarried someone who is willing to share the responsibility. My hat's off to you and all those single women out there making sacrifices and making it work!

  • Billygoat


    Hey...my mom-in-law is a medical transcriptionist and works at home. The better typing skills you have the better you get paid. There are usually seminars you have to pay to get through the certified course, but you might consider school loans for that. Maybe that's an option???


  • Beans

    What a wanker!

  • Yerusalyim


    I feel for ya. I've not had a dime of child support from my exwife since I got the kids 12 years ago. SHe does occasionally buy them things, so that helps out. But a nice support check every month, even a small one, would go a long way. On the other hand, I'm quite faithful in paying my $172.00 a month for my daughter. I even upped the amount I send to $200.00 for a while. I also send extra at the beginning of the school year and at Christmas. Not tooting my own horn but letting you know that not all us guys are wankers.

    Yeru, of the misses the ex-wife but my aim is getting better class.

  • DJ

    Hi blue,

    I am a paralegal too. I can't find at home work either. I'm going to keep plugging though because I don't want to leave my kids with someone all summer when they are off. It stinks, doesn't it? If I work out of the house when they are in school....what firm would let me have summers off????LOL>>>> I have a feeling that if we keep at it we will find something at home. Legal asst. work can be done just as effectively at home, imo. I hate money and need it at the same time...My husband makes a very good salary but everthing costs too darn much, so it gets eaten up. Remember when the dads only worked so that we could raise our kids? What happened? grrrrr. Maybe we ought to team up...blue eyes and dj .....paralegal mommies inc. lol love, dj

  • gitasatsangha
    Dude! You need to take a chill pill. You sound like a sanctimonious ass. Not that you are one. But give me a break. Uh doy, no I didn't know I participated in creating my children. Pulllleeeezzzee

    It is odd to me how people will table their situation on an open forum, and then respond with insults when someone responds in a manner which they did not want to hear. That reply was more telling then you probably realize. Go shout at the wind.

  • Ghost of Esmeralda
    Ghost of Esmeralda
    What a wanker!

    Beans, that gets my vote for quote of the week right there!

    And what is it with these guys?! My ex has been particularly hard to deal with lately. Something in the air? the water? Cycle of the moon???

    ((((((((Bluesapphire)))))))) I'm so sorry, honey. Mine pays support, but you know what? I swear I'd give up the money if he would get the h*** away from us. My husband feels the same way. If my ex would just move to Australia (sorry, aussie mates! LOL) I'd be the happiest woman alive.



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